Janicek.com

After being at work for an hour or so this morning, I walked across the street to the convenience store for a coke. I rarely drink cokes (or “soda” as some refer to it) because 1) I’m not really a caffeine junky and 2) I try hard to maintain my stick-like physique.

As I approached the facade of the store, I heard a man screaming. I couldn’t make out from where the tantrum was coming and it stopped as I got closer to the store. I bought my coke and headed back toward the office. I heard the screaming again. I turned around and saw the man at the pay phone. He was livid. He was screaming at the person on the other end of the conversation. He screamed and screamed and slammed the phone against its base multiple times. If I had to guess, I’d say his knuckles were probably busted due to his violent outrage. It was an amazing scene. People are weird.

As I continued my trek back to work, I wondered what it could have been that made this man so mad. Was is a cheating girlfriend? An out of stock crack dealer? Corrupt stock broker? Whatever it was, I’m glad that I’m not that dude. My only gripes are that my wife works so much that we rarely get to spend much time together and I’m getting gray hair. I wouldn’t abuse a public pay phone over those things.

In hindsight, I should have stopped in my tracks and danced. That’s what I should have done. I would have performed the hammer and the cabbage patch. I really should have. Life isn’t that bad. Perhaps that angry man would have turned around, seen me dancing and laughed. People driving in their cars would have laughed too. Oh well, hindsight’s 20/20. I just went back to my office and had a coke and a smile.

I just checked our house savings account… this time next week, we’ll be at 75% of our goal for cash savings! This time next month, we’ll be very near our goal. I set our goal to what I thought was enough (although it’s still significantly more than what most people are putting down on a house these days). I’ve come to learn that if we want a “deal” on something we can realistically afford, we’ll need to save a little more. At the rate we’re going, that shouldn’t be a problem. Ideally we should have our Realtor taking us to look at houses now. If we wait until we reach our goal, then have Della take us to look at houses, by the time we find and fall in love with a house we’ll have more than what is expected of us for the loan amount(s) we’re considering. Exciting!

I woke up early on Saturday and went for a salubrious 20+ mile bicycle ride. The hills in Austin are pretty rough. That was exhausting. I came home, flopped down on the couch and watched the majority of the Sopranos third season on DVD.

5 p.m. rolled around and Elise called to tell me she was on her way home. Once she got home, we hopped in the Jeep, drove to El Arroyo, picked up her boss’s Suburban and drove to DKR stadium so Clay (bossman) could have his vehicle. That was amazingly frustrating. We got to the stadium just after UT beat Kansas States. I wouldn’t be surprised if someone told me that the entire world attending that game. We were stuck, in our vehicles for almost half an hour in a mob of burnt orange wearing pedestrians. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that many people at one time in my life.

Being an hour late already, we finally dropped off Clay’s Suburban and hauled butt to San Antonio for the Kiss and Aerosmith concert. We got to the Verizon Amphitheater just in time to catch the end of Kiss’s first song. Needless to say, the concert was awesome.

We slept in on Sunday, went to Hut’s for lunch and then house shopping for almost four hours. Elise actually pooped out before I did. We’re both getting really excited and nervous about buying a house. It still might be a year before we buy, but we’ve got [financial] blinders on.

I’ve been back in Tae Kwon Do for a few months now. I’ve been slowly relearning the traditional colored-belt patterns. In Unified Tae Kwon Do, a student reaches a black belt by beginning with a white belt, you then achieve higher belts by learning and performing your patterns during a test, board breaking, sparring and your overall attitude, devotion and enthusiasm. The test is conducted by either an instructor or Master Park. Master Park was at all of my tests.

You start with a white belt, then you test for a yellow stripe. You then test for yellow belt, then test for green stripe. Green belt, blue stripe, blue belt, red stripe, red belt, black stripe, another black stripe and then black belt.

For each rank you must remember two patterns, one traditional and one free-sparring as well as the patterns from previous belts. It gets pretty rough when you’re getting ready to test for your black belt. I believe it took me three years to reach black belt. I continued going to classes until I graduated from high school and then moved to Austin for college. It was then that I began practicing the fine art of being out of shape.

Nine years later, I’m back in and really enjoying it – wondering why I ever gave it up. I’m in better shape than I’ve been in a long time. I can comfortably perform the white through red stripe traditional patterns as well as one of my four black belt patterns. My self confidence has also grown a lot in the past months. Not that I was really lacking, but confidence can always grow.

I went out onto the patio this morning to contemplate life and any of the reasons as to why someone would have sat down and invented cottage cheese. The latter led me to remember a certain individual by the name of Rodney Nunn.

Rodney was my own personal bully when I was a freshman in high school. Since the Bellville Independent School district cared so much about your humble narrator’s future and overall physical well being, they placed me in a pre-algebra class with Rodney Nunn. I later had to double up in my mathematics curriculum in order to become a fully functional member of society and be able to calculate things like “If I’ve already microwaved this bag of popcorn for three minutes and there are still less than two seconds between kernel pops, will I be able to set the microwave to heat for an additional minute and have time to open the refrigerator and stare blankly only to later realize that I already had a drink waiting for me on the coffee table?” The Pythagorean theorem comes in handy in this situation.

Coach Wunderlich was our pre-algebra teacher. He was also one of the junior varsity football coaches as well as the girls’ softball coach. If I had to guess what his ancestors did based on surname, I would say they were responsible for the sunglasses that blind people wear.

I was a freshman. Rodney was a senior. We were both in Coach Wunderlich’s 5th period pre-algebra class. Rodney never made it out of the pre-stage of variable-based mathematics. Even though he was mean to me, I truly hope that he can determine a parabola’s direction by knowing that y=a(x-h)2+k. This lends itself useful in determining buying power when shopping for area rugs, clumping kitty litter and nasal spray. Some restrictions apply. Void where prohibited.

I hated going to pre-algebra because I knew that I would be receiving my daily dose of abuse from Rodney. I have recently learned that I’m capable of subjecting myself to selective amnesia. My relationship with Rodney is one of those rare cases. I guess saying that this is a rare case is not easily hypothesized nor capable of being proven because how would I know what I haven’t remembered or temporarily forgotten? A ha! – see, algebra! I don’t remember everything that Rodney did to me, but I know that he was a mean cuss. I remember that he used to flick my ears until they turned red and called me names. Never did I do anything to Rodney to warrant such maiming.

Rodney Nunn played a significant role in my life. He reminded me of that “do unto others” creed. He helped me become a person who enjoys being nice to other people and tries to make others laugh. I wonder what Rodney Nunn is doing now. I wonder if he’s one of those people who is immune to karma. If I were demented, I would come up with the notion of a gaggle of pixies wearing Wunderlich sunglasses and t-shirts that read “Algebraists do it by Symbolic Manipulation”, flicking the ears of Rodney Nunn for an eternity. I’m not demented so I wouldn’t think of something like that.

My in-laws are gone, we’ve dropped down to basic cable and I have no dove meat.

Steve and Joanne left on Thursday morning. Elise and I were pretty bummed. Even though they were on vacation, it seemed as if Elise and I were as well. It was nice having them here for a week.

In an attempt to increase our cash reserve (aka the “house fund”), we decided to drop down to basic cable. We decided upon this three months ago. We called the cable company three months ago. The cable giant switched our service just this past Friday. No Food Network, TLC or Learning Channel anymore. Now we only get the big three networks, something called the WB, a handful of home shopping channels, two channels from Spain (Soccer exclusivo), the local hippy politics channel and public access channels that require its “stars” to wear a toilet seat as a necklace.

Dad and I went dove hunting in Hallettsville yesterday. We didn’t shoot any birds but we did manage to blow one of the tires on Dad’s truck by running over the edge of a culvert pipe.

Elise and I had a nice anniversary yesterday. Work pretty much sucked for me – I couldn’t wait to get home. To add insult to injury, my stupid iPod’s batteries went dead while at work so I had to listen to droning bus engines on the bicycle ride home. Just prior to leaving work, I spent too much time trying to figure out my newly acquired miniature frame-mounted tire pump. I looked like I was trying to wrestle an epileptic crocodile. Anyway – come to find out, having air in your tires can lead to a quicker ride home.

Steve and Joanne took Elise and me to Eddie V’s for a mighty fine and fancy dinner. Steve had the Mahi Mahi filet with spicy rock shrimp and mango salsa. Elise had the broiled swordfish steak with mushrooms, pistachios, chives and veal jus. Joanne and I both had the Pacific Ahi tuna with avocado, tomato and chile vinaigrette. I had mine rare (still flopping on the plate) and Joanne had hers cooked medium well. We all thought everything was great but Elise made out with the best meal of them all.

We went back to our apartment after dinner and opened presents. I bought Elise a Dell Axim X5 Pocket PC, hoping that it will help her in her job. Elise bought me a chef’s jacket and a 7″ Wusthof hollowed edge Santoku knife. Of course I had to immediately hop up and slice a carrot to test out my new toy. I’ll probably need to count my fingers on a daily basis from here on out.

After opening presents, we all went on the balcony and talked for a while. We then went into the office and looked at Elise’s and my wedding photos on Janicek.com. By that time it was almost 1 a.m. I think Elise went back into the living room and talked with her parents. I just remember the alarm waking me up at 6:45 a.m. Back to reality.

My in-laws are in until Thursday of this week. They got into town around 6 p.m. on Friday after driving from Norman, OK. Their journey started from Des Moines on Thursday. Elise was working, so I took them to Hoover’s for some comfort food. Steve and Joanne both had the barbequed chicken, I opted for the chicken fried steak. Everything was awesome – even the waitress who insisted that Joanne not order the grilled salmon Caesar salad but a rib-sticking order of chicken and mashed potatoes instead.

Elise got home from work at 1:30 a.m. Steve and Joanne tried to stay up to wait on her but couldn’t quite make it. Elise and I went to bed. We woke up on Saturday and drove to my parents’ house. After a short visit we drove to New Ulm to have hamburgers at the Texas Star Cafe. My Mom, Steve, Joanne and Elise dropped my Dad and me off at the house so they could drive to see the big town of Bellville.

Dad and I smoked pork ribs. Dad showed me the beginnings of his new work bench that he’s building with his new router. The rest of the family came back from Bellville. Steve and Joanne learned some interesting history about your humble narrator, so I’m told. Mom and I finished cooking and we all sat down and had dinner. To rub salt in the wound, someone brought out the photo albums. I avoided the situation for the most part. When I heard laughter, I walked further.

To create a diversion, I decided to blow something up. I went outside and started shooting off left-over fireworks from the fourth of July. That grabbed everyone’s attention and soon I had an audience.

We woke up early on Sunday. Steve, Joanne and Elise went to church in Bellville. Dad, Mom and I stayed at home, sacrificed a goat, painted stick figures on our foreheads with pig’s blood and sang Barbara Mandrell tunes. Well, really we just ate bagels.

The rest of the afternoon consisted of reading the newspaper, talking, watching football and eating. We headed back to Austin at 8 p.m. I stayed up long enough to put away my clothes and other miscellaneous effects and hit the hay.

Weekends are just too short.

Our brain piercing smoke alarm went of at 5 a.m. Monday morning. My wife happens to be a snooze hitter, so I can usually tune out any annoying beeps and buzzes while sleeping. This particular incessant squeal made me open my eyes, but remain relatively unresponsive. Elise got out of bed and assessed the situation. The manly man that I am stayed in bed with the comforter pulled up to my chest.

Elise came back to bed. There was no reason for the smoke alarm to go off. I asked Elise: “Was that a poltergeist?” Dumb me. I’m not manly because I didn’t get out of bed to check for a fire, now I can’t go back to sleep and I keep pulling my legs in closer to my body because I’m thinking there is a paranormal demon roaming our apartment, setting off smoke alarms and looking for some hairy, skinny legs to eat for a late night snack.

The Friday before last (Sept. 5th) Elise, Travis, his girlfriend, Sarah and I went to the Dobie Theater to see Step Into Liquid. If you don’t see the movie, at least watch the trailer) Awesome movie. The cinematography is excellent. Elise went back to work. Travis, Sarah and I went back to my apartment, played the geetar and had a mini-PS2-playing marathon.

*Remembering the Dobie* The last time I was at the Dobie Theater, I was with Elise and our friend, James. We saw The Blair Witch Project. That scared us to death. At that time, the Dobie had curtains draped from the walls. The whole time we all kept thinking that something was going to come out from behind the curtains and kill us.

We were in my Rodeo, driving home, while James told us about the school children that supposedly push stalled cars off of the rail road tracks in San Antonio. Way to rub salt in the wound, James. James didn’t want to leave our apartment that night. We stayed up and kept scaring each other with stories.

Anyway – the Saturday before last (the 6th), I stayed in most of the day. No thanks to John, I purchased a 10GB iPod on eBay. Now I have to sell the Archos Jukebox Recorder. Once I download XPlay (or iTunes if it seems better), I’m sure I’ll be much happier with my iPod.

Later that night I met up with Tommy, Victor, Fred and Mike for a couple drinks at Opal Divine’s. We then went bar hopping on 6th Street. Elise called me when she was leaving work. I rode the trusty Shadow home to spend some time with my wife seeing how I never see her any more.

We stayed in all day on Sunday and talked. We talked and talked and talked. I shocked myself by remembering a pivotal point in my life, just prior to meeting Elise. It was a really low point in you humble narrator’s past. Elise and I discussed fate and how we were in the right place, at the right time, when we met. It was an interesting recollection and revelation.

Last week’s work week flew by. We went to a VIP party at the El Arroyo on 183. That was a lot of fun. We were able to sample most of the new menu items.

Elise went to work at 8:30 a.m. on Friday morning. She came home at 6:00 a.m. on Saturday to take a shower and go back to work. Her work day wasn’t over until roughly 2:30 a.m. on Sunday. I think Elise calculated 38 hours of work.

I went to work on Saturday morning to start a differential backup on our file server. I also wrote a long love letter to Elise. I went to CompUSA and bought a camera back for our PowerShot S400. I then went home to witness UT get creamed by Arkansas. Later that night I went to Tommy’s to watch Oscar De La Hoya wrongfully lose to Shane Mosley.

Elise and I woke up on Sunday and returned the van that she had rented for work. We (Elise) had lunch a Z’ Tejas. I suddenly came down with a terrible case of what felt like someone shoved an epileptic mongoose with a five gallon tank of ether and a cigarette in my stomach. We went home because I was feeling so bad. Elise took a nap. When she woke, I was finishing watching the very manly Payback, starring Mel Gibson. We changed the channel and watched, in its entirety, the very unmanly Hope Floats, starring Sandra Bullock. I cried, became bloated and my ankles swelled. Oh wait… nevermind.

Elise and I celebrated five years of togetherness yesterday. I had a nice bouquet of seasonal flowers sent to her work. With that I had delivered the letter that I had written on Saturday. We had dinner at El Arroyo, came home and played Monopoly.

I’ve had no time to write. I need to make it a point to, though. Work, Tae Kwon Do and BBBS are consuming me. Any spare time I have is allotted for Elise. She works so much though that she’s hardly around. So I really just spend time trying to conquer my one phobia: sitting across from strangers in restaurants.

Elise and I haven’t had time to go to the grocery store in a month or so. I’ve been having to fend for myself during lunch. I can’t really go home because I ride my bicycle to work. It would take my entire lunch hour just to ride home and ride back. That would leave me with no time to eat. “But Josh, why don’t you just bring your lunch with you?” Because 1) We don’t have any food and 2) I can’t think rationally before 8:30 a.m. I get to work and think to myself: “Damn, why didn’t I bring my lunch?”

Around 1 p.m. I forage the surrounding creek and parking lots for berries. I usually end up with a fist full of cigarette butts and broken glass. I need more fiber. Luckily there’s a Subway behind our building. Yesterday I practically had the restaurant to myself. Just in case, I sat myself in the corner booth, facing the window, away from any other tables. Except for one. A lady ordered her lunch and came and sat at the ONLY table that would allow for any sort of eye contact with yours truly. I was facing west, she was facing north. She could have sat in the other bench of her booth, but no, she had to sit facing north, in direct eyesight of the left side of my face.

I could feel her eyes studying my primal eating habits. Before each bite, I sniffed all sides of my 6″ club sandwich. I would rub the garlic roasted bun on my forehead, grunt and take a large bite, making sure to leave sliced bell pepper and shredded lettuce dangling from my chin. The lady stared harder. I couldn’t take it any longer. I stood up in my booth, beat the right side of my chest with my left hand, I howled and chunked my half eaten sandwich at the lady. I hit her square above the left eye. Red wine vinaigrette and sliced banana peppers teetered from her glasses. I threw my Pepsi to the ceiling and ripped the table out from it’s bolted grounding. I left.

That’s what I should have done.

I hate it when people sit where they can watch me eat.

Although I don’t have much time to write recently, I find it necessary because I have a bad memory. I just had to call Elise to have her tell me what I did on Friday night. Nothing.

Elise worked all weekend so I had to fend for myself. Tommy came over late Saturday afternoon and we played PS2. Philip came over later in the evening to join us in our SSX Tricky tournament.

I woke up too early on Sunday and went for a long overdue ride down Lime Creek Road on the trusty Shadow. I got home in time to have Tommy pick me up to go to the grocery store and then to John and Christine’s.

We all hung out by the pool. I eventually made spinach artichoke dip and Shrimp Diablo. After dinner we all went to Tommy’s place to watch UT narrowly defeat New Mexico State. After the game we all went to some bar in north Austin to sing karaoke. The karaoke part never happened because 1) the people singing karaoke were apparently practicing for American Idol auditions and 2) Josh woke up too early that morning and it was time to sleep.

John called us on Monday morning and invited us to breakfast. He made eggs, venison sausage, bacon and toast for Christine, Elise, Michelle and me. After breakfast (at 12:30 p.m.) we went to the movie theater to see American Wedding. Funny movie.

John ran to Target to buy The Lord of the Ring: The Two Towers. So we went back to John and Christine’s place to watch another movie. Tommy came over later in the afternoon. Michelle went home to get her dogs and to bring back food. I cooked hamburgers for everyone, courtesy of Michelle.

Three fifths of us fell asleep during the movie. Having just eaten large hamburgers probably contributed to that. Elise and I went home around midnight.

All-in-all, it was a nice, relaxing weekend.

Elise and I went out on a date this past Wednesday. We left out apartment around 7 p.m. and waited an hour or so on the Congress bridge to watch the bats fly out. That was something we both hadn’t done in years. If memory serves us both correctly, we could have sworn that the bats used to fly out earlier. It was almost too dark to see them.

Since we were in the neighborhood, we went to TGI Fridays for dinner. Since most dinners out are portioned too large, we both ordered appetizers and had a couple drinks on the patio.

After dinner we headed over to the Robert Lee Moore Hall on campus to see Mars through the jumbo telescope. We waited in line for over an hour before a graduate student/volunteer tried to convince everyone that Mars will be just as viewable for the next three weeks. Elise and I decided to wait it out since we had already been in line for so long.

Fifteen minutes later, the same graduate student came and told everyone that there were smaller telescopes on the roof and that if we wanted to, we could follow her (cut in line) and see Mars through less powerful telescopes. Elise and I opted for that idea. After ascending the side of the line of people, we realized that we would have been in line for at least another hour.

We made it to the rooftop, waited five minutes in line to use a smaller (but more powerful than any lay person might own) telescope. Talk about a letdown. Elise and I took our turns and looked through the lens. As we were leaving, we concurred that we were gypped. We saw what looked like a star. Just a bright spot in the viewfinder. Boooooring.

We’re going to try to go back on one of the upcoming Wednesdays to see Mars through the big telescope – rumor has it that you can make out the surface of the planet and see the polar ice cap.