Forty-niner

I don’t know when, why, or how it became a tradition to take a photo with the girls and me on my birthday, but I’m glad Elise did it. There are some years missing; I’m not sure why. I know in 2024 we were in College Station for the Maly’s senior year at the Aggieland Lacrosse tournament.

But it looks like I’m working

I have three more days at my current job. As I type this I am employed by a software subsidiary of a big, corporate, Fortune 500 company.

Early in my job here I met with all of my peers individually, just for introductions and to solicit guidance and best practices so I could do my job successfully. I specifically remember the conversation that I had with my friend Cameron. He’s been with the company for many years and is always a top producer. He told me that he thought I would do just fine at this job as I had the tenacity, experience, and attitude to be successful. He went on to tell me about some previous employees that just weren’t a fit and didn’t last very long. He said there were a couple who were “mouse jigglers.”

Microsoft Teams shows a green check mark when you’re at your desk “working.” If after some minutes there’s no input from your mouse or keyboard, that green checkbox will automatically change to a yellow clock to show that you’re “away” from your computer.

I didn’t know what a mouse jiggler was so I looked it up. A mouse jiggler is software used to simulate the movement of a computer mouse. It can also be a mechanical device moving the physical computer mouse. I guess in most implementations it’s so that an employee can be away from his desk, endeavoring upon other fruitful and enjoyable pursuits while tricking coworkers and managers to think that he’s at his desk, busy writing emails and accepting many meeting invitations.

I only have three days left at this job. I’ve had conversations with my bosses since I submitted my resignation. I have nothing to do at my current job other than a couple exit interviews and await a pre-paid postage box that I’ll use to ship my work-issued laptop back to headquarters.

So I spent a few minutes this morning to learn more about “mouse jiggling.”

I mean, if you can’t have fun in your last days at a job, what else are you going to do? Jiggle your own mouse?

Full circle

Twenty two years ago today I started a job at Wellness Works. After being there for a couple years, my boss promoted me, handed me the keys, and taught me how to run the business.

This Friday will mark the 1-year anniversary that I was wrongfully fired from my job at a run club, denied unemployment compensation because my then-boss lied to the Texas Workforce Commission, and made for a really stressful and frustrating 2024.

This Friday will also be my last day at my current job. There’s a bit of a full circle thing happening and I’m excited about it.

A good day on the job and college front

It’s been a whirlwind of a week. Not what I’d expected, but pleasantly refreshing. This was the first week after holidays and that time of year when we’ve historically just been thrust back into normal life. And I always kind of dread this week. I get the post-holiday winter blues.

University of Charleston campus on Tuesday, January 7, 2025

I was doing okay all through last weekend, and even early on Monday morning. I didn’t make it sad. But when the buzzer went off at 8:00 a.m. and it was finally time to go back to normal, I sat at my desk and then it hit me. I dreaded going back to work. I just didn’t want to do it. I wasn’t motivated. I wasn’t inspired. I didn’t want to be there anymore. I felt like I didn’t belong there, doing that job. It was 8:04 a.m. and I was already depressed.

I knew I had just just start doing something to make progress in figuring out what I was going to do next. I decided I’d just start the slow and arduous job of looking for a job, sending out resumes, maybe get some interviews, and just see where my journey takes me. But in my heart of hearts I knew that the standard job search wasn’t going to work. So, for grins, I went to our neighborhood’s “job board” Facebook group and saw a post from back in early September. A neighbor was looking for a Director of Operations to manage their business. So I sent her a message. I knew it was a long shot since her post was four months old. As luck would have it, she messaged me back, told me that they’d hired someone for the role, and his start date was supposed to be that very day, but he no-showed. She asked me to send her my resume, so I obliged. She then asked if I’d be able to come in for an interview that week. I gave her my availability, so we settled on an interview the next morning at 10:00 a.m. By 2:00 p.m. on Wednesday I had a job offer. I put in my resignation with my current company at 3:00 p.m.

I’m so excited about this new job. It’s just too much to list here, but it’s like life has come full circle. I used to do a similar job in another life 20 years ago. I’d lucked into that job by way of being a dedicated and trustworthy employee. My boss promoted me and taught me how to run the business, and I like to think I did a good job at it. I loved that job. I got to make decisions, I got to be creative, I got to be a servant leader, I got to build relationship, I got to learn every day, I got my ass kicked and I got back up. But that company was sold, and my team and I weren’t part of the acquisition. I lost that job. So that lead me down a long and different career path that, if I’m being honest, a lot of it hasn’t been as fulfilling.

So, long story short, my week and upcoming months that I was set to dread turned into a fast and furious and amazing change for the good, and I’m really, really excited about it.

Maly went back up to Charleston past Saturday. She was dreading it (to a degree). The first day of school was canceled because of snow and ice. She doesn’t have classes on Tuesdays or Thursdays, so her first day of class was on Wednesday. After my good luck on Tuesday and Wednesday, I sent her a text message to see how life and classes had been. She said it was a good day. That made my day that much better.

It’s high time we have a series of fortunate events.

Don’t make it sad

Elise and I took Maly to the airport yesterday afternoon so she could get back to Charleston to start school on Monday. She was bummed about having to go back. We were bummed about her going back. There were a few hints during the break about her dropping out, or transferring to another college. I think it’s the post-holiday blues and knowing she has to go back to “work” 1,300 miles away from home.

I get it. I get the blues after the holidays. In fact, I get it really badly. I probably get depressed. I just don’t have a doctor to tell me I get clinically depressed.

While I was writing this year’s Christmas Newsletter, I could tell I really starting to get the blues. And I was worried that I’d really start getting down today and tonight since it’s the Sunday after Maly left for college, Elise and I are back to work (again, after a weekend), and Mara’s Christmas break is coming to an end too.

Maly spent four days in Aspen with Jared and his family. She came back on January 1st so she could spend time with us, and get ready to head back to Charleston. Jared and the family stayed in Aspen until the 4th, which is the same day Maly left for Charleston. Maly and Jared had to say goodbye in Aspen. I guess now that I type that, Aspen’s probably not a bad place to say goodbye.

But I asked her if it was sad having to say goodbye to Jared in Aspen. She simply said, “yeah, but we didn’t make it sad.” I heard her when she said those words, but they didn’t set in until yesterday, the day we’d take Maly to the airport. The end of her Christmas break and the last time we’d see her in person for months. I made it a point to be around her as much as I could yesterday. I kept trying to remember the words she used. Was it “don’t let it be sad” or “don’t make it sad?”

I settled on “don’t make it sad.” That implies that I have some control of how I manage my emotions. If I think “don’t let it be sad” that implies that I’ll let my emotions dictate my emotional wellbeing.

We took Maly to the airport yesterday. We parked in short-term parking and walked into the airport with her to check her bag and to see her off to go through TSA. Every once in a while I’d think to myself, “don’t make it sad.” We watched Maly until we couldn’t see her anymore. I don’t think either of us wanted to leave the airport, but there was no sense in hanging out at the airport. Our child was on her way.

Instead of going home for the invariable moping and sitting on the couch and watching TV, Elise and I went to Home Depot and Costco. We had time to kill, and it was something to do.

When we got home, I kept reminding myself, “don’t make it sad.” I stayed busy. I made green chile pork stew, watched some football, went to bed, put a dent in Great Expectations, and conked out around 10 p.m. and slept the best that I can recall in a really long time. I slept in until 5:45 (I’m usually up around 4:00 a.m.). I got out of bed a little disoriented because I’m usually out the door for a run before 6. I started my morning rituals and “don’t make it sad” popped into my head like it was second nature. I didn’t think or dwell on Christmas winding down, or Maly being halfway across the country and us not seeing her again for months. I pressed on, went about my morning, got dressed, loaded up, and went for my run.

When she left home for college in August, I was a wreck. For weeks.

This morning was very gray and slightly windy. The outside atmosphere was somber and melancholy. I loaded up a “chill winter mix” playlist and just went out to run the hills in Lost Creek and Barton Creek. I didn’t let anything get to me. I didn’t make it sad.

It’s simple and effective. And it’s a lesson learned from whom would otherwise be the source of sadness.

Don’t make it sad.

A score of zero

I had a HeartSaver CT scan on December 20th to check for any calcification of my coronary arteries. The results came in today. I scored a zero across the board. There’s no presence of atherosclerotic plaque in any of the scanned coronary arteries.

I’ve run every day since December 20th because it’s just what I do. I enjoy it more than anything, and I’m training to pace the Austin Marathon on February 16th so I can help others achieve their goals. There hasn’t been a day that’s gone by in these past 14 that I haven’t thought that this might be the last run. Something could get lodged or dislodged and that could be the proverbial widowmaker.

I opened the envelope that contained my test results as I walked the quarter mile back from the mailbox. I read as fast as I could and took in as much as I could until I got to the series of zeros in my Agatston score. My throat closed and my eyes just filled with tears. I don’t know why. I don’t know if it’s because I fear death. I don’t think I do. But I do contemplate my mortality as I get older. I wonder if it’s because I think this is just going to be a part of life now; getting scans and tests for things that I need to get scanned and tested so I can know what’s going to slow me down and kill me if I’m proactive about it. But that’s all doom and gloom.

I think the reason that my eyes welled up is because a piece of paper reminded me that I’m alive today. And today is all that I have.

New Year inspiration

Maly sent us this video from her last day of skiing in Aspen. Elise and I have watched it more times that we can count. It’s heartwarming and funny, and while each time I watch it I find myself laughing just as much I did the first time I watched it, I’ve also found motivation and inspiration from it.

  1. Stop being intimidated or scared. Put yourself out there. Try new things. Do hard things.
  2. Be confident, comfortable, and willing to laugh at yourself. Life is too short and too serious to not laugh often and bring smiles and laughter to others.
  3. No matter how many times I get knocked down, keep getting back up.

Year in Sport 2024

Every year, beginning in mid-December, Strava generates these cool year in review wrap-up graphics for subscribers who use its service. It’s kind of cool to see a snapshot of what all I’ve done in sport (mostly running) in the past 12 months.