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Elise and I went to my parents’ house this past weekend. Elise and I woke up on Saturday and went outside to put the soft top on the Jeep only to realize that we were missing the first part we needed. We left the hard top off and went for a drive in Bellville. Then Mom and Dad went for a drive.

We picked dewberries and blackberries from the roadside fences later that afternoon.

Elise and I came home late on Sunday.

In other news… Elise really wanted tomato basil (bah-zil) soup the other day so I made her some marinara sauce. By the way, I threw (bah-zil) in there so you would know how I like to pronounce basil. But really, I made marinara sauce. I’m really questioning the Barefoot Contessa’s recipes. It seems like most of the stuff that I cook from that book turn out quite ho-hum. I made some hummus a la the BC and it tasted like pasty ocean water. This tomato basil soup that I made tasted like bland marinara.

So I went to Central Market last night to buy mozzarella cheese. I wanted to make fried mozzarella sticks to go with my marinara-sauce-that-was-supposed-to-be-soup. While I was there, I picked up a small container of Central Market’s Caesar salad dressing and a head of romaine. I walked over to the chef’s deli with a big, friendly smile on my face and politely asked if I could have the recipe for their Caesar dressing.

“No”.

I slowly placed my basket on the ground beside me, I then laid flat on my stomach and kicked my feet repeatedly while I cried. I screamed, I turned near purple and snot began streaming from my nose. People stared and one lady actually stopped and started patting me on the back. I cooed for a moment but then remembered that Central Market wasn’t giving up their Caesar salad dressing recipe.

Okay, I didn’t actually cry. I said something polite, walked away and immediately began the mocking: “nyah nyah nyah we don’t give out our recipes nyah nyah nyah”

Now I’m on a mission. I want that recipe. If anyone has (or has “resources”) Central Market’s Caesar salad dressing recipe, let me know. The stuff is just too expensive. See, you have to weigh the dressing at the salad bar. Any weighstation salad bar can’t make money off the weight of lettuce alone. Those scales are really sensitive so any heavy object will, of course, cost significantly more in a relative sort of way. Or something.

Anyway, I figure I’ll wait a while. If nobody contacts me regarding the secret recipe, I might just go back to Central Market and demand to know the ingredients for dietary purposes. I’m a Central Market Caesar salad dressing junky. That’s fun to say. “I’m a Central Market Caesar salad dressing junky”. Now sing it, kind of to the tune of “I wish I were an Oscar Meyer wiener”. Okay, now stop – you’re acting stupid.

I went home and made fried mozzarella sticks for Elise and myself. The trick to making good fried mozz sticks is to dredge them in flour and throw them in the freezer for half an hour or so. Take them out, dredge in well-beaten eggs and then in bread crumbs (mixed with herbs). Fry at no hotter than 375 degrees for a few seconds.

Elise and I watched American Idol and ate our salads and fried cheese. Sometime today I imagine I will begin some sort of constipated, bloated, garlic and anchovy halitosis induced fit from salad dressing withdrawels.

I had to make a very tough decision yesterday. I had to decide between two Little Brothers. The Enrollment Specialist from BBBS called me yesterday to tell me that they had two Little Brothers for me to choose from. I had her e-mail the information to me.

I have to admit, I got a little choked up after reading the boys’ bios. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not pitying them, it’s just the lack of a male role model in their lives and how both of them sound like great kids. It was really hard having to pick one.

Now I wait until BBBS calls me to setup an initial meeting with my Little Bro and his mother – should be by next Thursday.

Elise had a really bad day yesterday. Nothing bad happened, it was just one of those days in which she didn’t feel top notch.

I came home for lunch and realized that she was in a bad mood. I went back to work and, well, worked. After work, I hopped over to Central Market and bought a ton of those little roses – the pink ones that just say Spring.

After picking out the flowers, I saw a large straw bonnet that could make for a nice ensemble. As I approached the cashier, I saw a blue tube top shirt that read “TEXAS” across the front.

I ran out to the Jeep, changed into my tube top, put on my bonnet, rode out to the greenbelt and skipped with my pink roses in-hand.

Ahem. I left Central Market and took the bushel of pink roses to my wife. That cheered her up a little.

Elise is looking for a job and getting stressed.

She made a yogurt and cucumber soup for dinner. I don’t know how (nor can I without sounding rude) to say it… we both didn’t really like it – which was fine… trust me, ask to try some of my authentic Mexican mole some time.

After dinner we went to Petsmart to pick up some cat food and then headed to Baskin Robbins for a free scoop of ice cream. Upon nearing Basking Robbins we noticed a line that stretched across two faces of the building. We both decided we would have much rather waited in line for tickets to see Great White’s most recent show.

With ice cream on the mind, we drove up one block and indulged at Dairy Queen. We came home and I watched the Mavericks lose. Blah.

I don’t know what happened with the website today. I seem to have lost that long entry that detailed the events of this past weekend. I really don’t feel like typing all of that stuff again.

I took a long lunch today and went to the dentist. I haven’t been to the dentist in three years. Elise went late last month. We both should have gone when I was working at that place in Temple and had really good benefits.

I’m not waiting that long to go to the dentist again. I know Mom, I said that last time, but this time, I mean it. Luckily your humble narrator didn’t have any cavities, but it did take Marilisa a while to jackhammer all of the tartar from my grill. I like my dentist, Dr. Cox. He’s a pretty cool guy. He was ribbing me about the time I knocked my front two teeth out when I slipped on the icy ground and fell on my face back in February of 1996.

They all know to be gentle with me. See, when I busted my choppers out back in ’96, I had to go to an oral surgeon because I had broken my upper mandible (I guess that’s what you’d call it – I cracked the bone under my nose). Mr. This Won’t Hurt a Bit Oral Surgeon didn’t really wait until the anesthesia kicked in before he straddled my body and broke my jaw back into place with his bare hands. That hurt. Ever since then, I don’t hesitate to tell a dentist or endodontist that I’m a wimp.

Marilisa was very nice, as always. While she was chiseling away, she sang a few of her songs for me.

I was adamant about scheduling and appointment for a cleaning in six months. Luckily, this go-around I didn’t have any cavities. I was pretty surprised seeing how I hadn’t been to the dentist in so long.

In other news… I woke up early yesterday, took a shower, ate breakfast – my usual morning ritual. I walked to the mailbox, came back upstairs and sat on the patio. The first piece of mail that I opened was from Prudential Financial. I thought to myself: “Hmm… this must be important, this is who handles my IRA – A solid company that I’ve trusted for a few years now”. I opened my mail and was amazed to find that I had been approved for a $10,000 Quantum MasterCard with a shockingly low interest rate (even after the “introductory term”). A little piece of paper fell out from the mix of return envelopes and authorization forms telling me that it’s okay to have more than one MasterCard as well. Prudential wasted a stamp and some paper on me.

I laughed. We don’t use credit cards. If we don’t have the cash, we don’t need it. If we need something that badly, we’ll save for it. If I can’t sleep at night, I think about the other people in this world who lose sleep because they can’t find a way to pay their MasterCard bill and are about to lose their house. That usually puts me to sleep. That or that Trading Spaces show that Elise likes to watch.

For a split second I thought: “$10,000 could get me on that Harley pretty quickly!” I laughed again. Then I got on my bicycle and rode to work.

I missed out on a great opportunity this morning. I’m still kicking myself for not carpe dieming… You see, I’m still riding my bicycle to work. I ride right in front of an elementary school each morning. Today traffic was noticeably slow near the school. As I got closer, I realized that there was a mother duck and her 8-10 ducklings, waddling behind her in the middle of the road.

I laughed out loud. As I pedaled away, I notice a woman who seemed to be the owner of the ducks, walking up the street, slowly chasing her herd. She had on a sun dress and a pink bonnet-thing that tied beneath her chin. The ducks continued on their western trail, waddling underneath cars that were attempting to get their owners to work. I believe the number of cars involved in this hold up had grown to a crippling four.

I was running late. I was late to work on Wednesday, I didn’t want to be late again. I really wanted to turn my 7-speed steed around and do some suburban duck herding. I guess I was just caught up in the notion of baby ducks causing a traffic jam in front of an elementary school, so I kept pedaling and laughing. I should have turned around though. I’m sure that lady could have used some help. I’m sure my boss would have understood had I stopped to help rustle up some web-footed yard birds.

I sat at work all day and thought: “Man, I wonder if that was my one chance in this life… my one chance to be a real cowboy. I could’ve herded them ducks real good – yessir, I sure could’ve. I could be a real cowboy if I was just given the chance…”

I just might stop and lean by a fence post over yonder at that there Sunset Valley elementary school at days-end. I reckon I could stand there for a bit, a dried weed twixt the ol’ cheek and gum, kick the heel of my faithful Avia Cantilever running shoe into the dust and wait for the owner of them ducks to come around. I figger I could ask her how she fared this mornin’ with that loose herd. I’d really like to know. It can’t be an easy life, what with ducks gettin’ through your fence and all and tyin’ up city dwellers fancy traffic time.

I reckon I could ask the owner of them ducks if maybe she’d like to have me keep an eye out for stray ducks on my ride to work each morning. I reckon I wouldn’t mind helping out a little.

In case you’re wondering where the any key is:

http://web14.compaq.com/falco/detail.asp?FAQnum=FAQ2859

… they (Australia) celebrate Easter the exact same way we do: commemorating the death and resurrection of Jesus by telling our children a giant bunny rabbit left chocolate eggs in the night. Now, I wonder why we’re f***** up as a race. Anybody got any idea? You know, I’ve read the Bible. I can’t find the word bunny or chocolate anywhere in the f***ing book. Where do they come up with this s***? Why not goldfish left Lincoln logs in your sock drawer? As long as you’re making s*** up – you know – go hog-wild. At least the goldfish with a Lincoln log on its back going across your carpet has some miraculous connotations:

“Mum, today I found a Lincoln log in me sock drawer.”

“That’s the story of Jesus…”

– Bill Hicks

It’s Saturday morning. It’s 7 a.m., Saturday morning. It’s 7 a.m., Saturday morning and I’m showered, shaved, have eaten and am ready to…. take a nap. I don’t know why I got up so early today – guess it’s habit. I wish I could get out of bed that easily during the week!

I took Elise to Casino El Camino for hamburgers last night. Well, I had a hamburger, Elise had a veggie thing, it being Lent and all. I had been wanting to eat there for a really long time. I’ve always liked Casino El Camino – it’s one of those bars on 6th that’s been in Austin longer than I have. It’s one of those establishments where you can come as you are and you’d probably get laughed out the door if you asked for an apple martini or a spot to plug in your laptop. In my opinion, it’s homey. It’s a place by which the masses walk quickly on their way to the to-be-seen bars and pubs downtown.

I ordered a Coke on tap, Elise had a hefeweizen. I then went to the kitchen window to order our dinner. Elise chose the Blackjack – grilled eggplant, roasted tomato, provolone cheese, romaine, olive tapenade and shallot mayo on a multigrain bun. I opted for the Buffalo Burger – a half-pound burger grilled with hot wing sauce and smothered with bleu cheese. The cook asked me if I wanted mild, medium or hot sauce. I asked “is the ‘hot’ hot?” He replied, without even the faintest smile “That’s why it’s called ‘hot'”. I chose the medium.

Best burger I’ve had in Austin – though I think that’s why I woke up at 5:45 this morning. Oh well, it was worth it. If you want a really good hamburger, you don’t mind music from the darker side and enjoy eating below a gargoyle with green glowing eyes, try Casino El Camino.

Another reason I’m glad to be back in Austin: we saw the rose man on East Riverside. He’s been in Austin as long, if not longer than I. He’s always there, singing. Even if the windows are rolled up or the cars around me are too loud to hear him sing, I still find solace in knowing he’s there, singing.

We came home after dinner and watched Igby Goes Down. Interesting movie. I’m such a verbose movie critic. Every movie I watch now is just interesting. I think I’m going to go outside and wash the trusty Shadow now. Then I’ll wake up sleeping beauty and then we’re going to Kohl’s to get some new digs for yours truly. After that, we’re going to go get some new lenses for the old glazzies.

We just did some serious shopping. While at Kohl’s, Elise saw a pair Hawaiian print swimming trunks that she said she liked. She said “I like that design, the one with the hibiscus”. I said “I would like to paint a picture of a couple of buttermilk biscuits sharing a marijuana cigarette… they would be high biscuits.” She laughed.

We went to the mall to get my new glasses. When we left the mall, Limp Bizkit was playing on the radio. Elise changed the station. I said “What, you don’t like Flaccid Pastry?” She laughed. She said “you’re on a roll…” We’re retarded.

I just don’t like Evites. From my recent five minutes of research, there is no immediate indication that Evite spams. Even still, that’s a fist-full of lit firecrackers in my opinion. Ticketmaster currently owns Evite. Ticketmaster was notorious for price gouging in the past decade or so – why wouldn’t they sell Evite along with a database chock full of e-mail addresses? That list of e-mail addresses is a Faberge egg just waiting to be cashed in.

I received an Evite today. I only received it because I had neglected to setup a server-side filter to immediately delete Evites. With a snap-o-the-fingers, problem’s solved now.

People with MSSW after their name scare me. They don’t scare as much as say… this tune.

I just got back from a lengthy interview with a social worker from Big Brothers Big Sisters. Your humble narrator is going to be a Big Brother (henceforth known as a “Big”). It was a complete background interview. It was kind of neat, but kind of scary in the same breath. I was on trial – I was proving who I was. I was more nervous during this interview than I was at my last job interview. I don’t have anything to hide, I was just afraid that I might answer a question incorrectly or in a way that would exclude me in the matching criteria.

I was asked some tough questions that I thought I would never be asked. I had to voice opinions on certain issues that I hadn’t really taken into consideration. It was really interesting. I’m still thinking about some of the questions that were asked.

Philip’s ‘girlfriend’ (who we’re yet to meet) inspired me to become a Big. As noted in the first annual Janicek Christmas Newsletter, I’m moving forward in my efforts to be more active in the community. I’m really excited as well as nervous about this new undertaking. I’m excited about the enlightenment I will gain. I’m excited about making an impact.

I’m going to a mentoring coaching session later this month. After that, I don’t know what happens. In the meantime, BBBS will be running a criminal and driving record background check on me. I’m clean, but I’m sure it’ll be a while before I get matched with a Little.

In other news… I don’t think there is any other news. Work is consuming my brain cells. I’m tired and sleep like a rock at nights. I’m still walking to work, though I rode the trusty Shadow yesterday and today.

Tracy and her boyfriend came into Austin yesterday evening. We met them at the Iron Cactus last night. No social or political issues were solved, we just caught up.

I bought a Sunrider soft top for the Jeep for Elise – well, she paid for it with the money she’s earned working for us, but I pushed the bid button on eBay. Now we have a huge box in the living room. We’re waiting until we go see my parents later this month so I can install it. The weather is so nice right now, I wish we could install it now.

The Archos MP3 player came loaded with several instances of the Nimda virus. Guess that happens when you buy used computer hardware. I wonder if it was malicious. Oh well, hence having anti-virus software.

That’s news for now. I need to start thinking about organizing my life. After that, I’ll probably play with whichever cat is at my disposal, drink some milk and go to bed. I have a lot of ‘side projects’ that need to be tended to before I actually become a Big. As a personal goal, I need to work on my time management. I’m timely by nature, but it’s been a while since I’ve really had to delegate what I do in my spare time. ‘Side projects’ sounds cool. Sounds like I’m in a really big heavy metal band and working with another band on an album. Okay, that’s retarded.

I’m tired now and am yet to talk to Elise about my interview.

This past weekend wasn’t as fruitful as I had hoped.

Elise and I drove downtown on Saturday afternoon and headed to Spamarama. We approached the gate to find out that there was a $5.00 per person admission fee. We evaluated the ongoing festivities from beyond the chain link fence and decided that we could have more fun with a roll of duct tape and a set of chop sticks. Well, we didn’t decide that at the time, but now that I think about it, think of all the things you could do with duct tape and wooden sticks.

We decided on a late lunch at the Texas Chili Parlor. We had always wanted to try that place out. Not-so-great chili and horrible service. I had a large bowl of the XX Red and Elise had a small bowl of the Mild Red. The bus boy took our drink orders, our waitress took our orders. Elise had to go to the bar to fill our drinks for us. We never saw our waitress until she wanted money. Nobody came and apologized for the crappy service, but they did comp the combined six Cokes we had (the chili was hot!)

We drove around campus for a while and headed home. Before we got home, we rented a 8 Mile, Road to Perdition and One Hour Photo – we had a coupon (kyew-pon): rent up to three movies for $1.00. Elise says koo-pon, I say kyew-pon. 8 Mile was okay – even though I like Eminem, I would have felt let-down had I paid full price for the rental. One Hour Photo was interesting.

We were going to go to a party that night, but 10 p.m. snuck up on us and we were too tired to do anything. We must be getting old.

We woke up early on Sunday. Elise went to church and I played a hacked copy of Ghost Recon that came loaded on the Archos. Elise came home and we went to Rudy’s for a late lunch. We ate out too much this weekend, but we were determined to have a good meal out. Rudy’s has yet to fail.

We drove out to the overlook by the 360 bridge and walked around for bit. We watched a guy repel off of the eastern side of the highway cut out.

Next we drove down South Lamar and stopped at Austin Found. We browsed that junk for half an hour or so. We kept thinking we would come across something interesting. Nope. It reminded me of a rundown lot you’d see in downtown Houston.

To end our day, we drove home and then walked to the driving range. On our way we picked up a dozen or so golf balls. I stashed them in my pockets. We bought our bucket of balls and then I added our found lot. We saved one ball and had a putting contest. We tied at 2 each.

As we headed home, Elise marched on the side of Staggerbrush Road, twirling her putter like a baton. That was funny. I was a ninja as I cut the heads off my victims with my 7 and 9 iron katanas. Those weeds won’t mess with us again.

We went home and watched Road to Perdition and ate popcorn.