Janicek.com

I finally got the trusty Shadow’s front tire fixed. This actually happened on Saturday.

Philip came up on Friday night. We ate at El Chico for dinner and went back to my place and watched Camp Kill Yourself videos.

I woke up at 6:30 a.m. on Saturday and hit a couple garage sales. I scored some junk. I was hoping to make a little money on eBay, but doesn’t look like that’s going to happen. Who knows… I’ve only put one item up for sale thus far.

Elise went to get her haircut at 11. Philip and I loaded my bike onto his truck and headed to Austin. It was raining and cold outside. We looked like a couple monkeys fondling a football while trying to unload my bike at the shop.

$231 later, the Shadow is ready to go. We loaded it back into Philip’s truck [too cold and rainy to ride – plus I didn’t bring my helmet or rain gear] and went to his apartment. We watched Mr. Deeds and I tried to nap on the couch.

We watched UT beat Nebraska, then headed over to Tommy’s. Elise showed up shortly after we arrived. We left Tommy’s around 2 a.m.

Elise and I slept in on Sunday. We ate pizza. We discussed existentialism in general and the orbit patterns of Jupiter’s satellites.

Monday was a typical Monday.

We didn’t vote on Tuesday. I went to HEB halfway into The Bachelor. Elise really needs a new car. The Trooper is making some really funny noises and I’d like to get rid of it before the rear axel falls off. I picked up the recent issue of Auto Trader. There are quite a lot of Jeeps in there. Hopefully we’ll have saved up enough cash in a couple months to make our purchase.

On Wednesday I received an e-mail asking about putting streaming video on the S&W Intranet. Hopefully I’ll get to work on that soon.

This Saturday Elise is photographing another wedding. We need to go to Philip’s to pick up my bike. I’m going to put a For Sale sign on it this weekend. If any one is interested… $3,200 for a black 1998 Honda Shadow VT 750 A.C.E.

I have an e-mail address, spam at janicek dot com. I use that e-mail address whenever I’m required to sign up for something. I used my webmaster account when I took a few certification tests at BrainBench. I think they sold my e-mail address. Oh well…

I really like the P.S. on this peice of finely crafted spam. “Instead of writing us a hateful e-mail requesting that you be taken off our list immediately, just kindly respond and tell us that you never want to hear from us again. In doing so, we’ll send you helpful information on how to make money fast, how to clean up your credit and how to maintain an erection!”

Subject: janicek.com
From: Diane Emmerson
Date: Tue, November 5, 2002 6:47 am
To: webmaster

I discovered janicek.com in Yahoo, my favorite search engine. I am requesting that you create a link from janicek.com to my client’s web site if you feel that their content is in some way related or complements your site. In exchange, I’ll post a link from their site to yours.

Exchanging links will help bring in more business for both your web site and my client’s. An added benefit is increased search engine traffic because the search engines rank sites higher that have a good number of relevant links.

This is not a free-for-all link exchange, I don’t waste my time with them and you shouldn’t either. I am only linking to related web sites so that all my links are relevant to my site.

I would like to send you my client’s web address, so that you can review their site. Home Loan Advisor is a service for consumers who are searching for the ideal mortgage. Consumers are matched up with a local mortgage professional who is an expert in providing the best available mortgage programs.

Please let me know if you are interested in exchanging links. I’ll send you more details once I hear back from you.

Looking forward to your reply.

Sincerely,
Diane Emmerson
dianeemmerson@link-builder.com
http://www.link-builder.com

P.S. If for any reason you don’t want me to contact again, just email me and let me know.

I got out of bed this morning and headed for the bathroom. Upon approaching the loo, I caught my reflection in the vanity mirror. I stopped and gave myself a once over. I examined my profile. I can tell that I’ve lost a little weight.

I’m the sort of person who craves more physical activity once I get the ball a rollin’. For example, every day after I walk home from work, I always want to go back outside and run or lift weights. I don’t have running shoes or weights. I really want some running shoes.

I started thinking about my days at the country club. We had great benefits there. We had the option to receive a discounted membership to World’s Gym. $5 a month. You can’t beat that.

In spite of the great price, I didn’t want a gym membership. I don’t swing on swanky public gyms. Joey, one of my coworkers convinced me to sign up for a gym membership with him. He told me that we would go all the time. I believed him because he looked as if he had done his fair share of bench presses. We never went. We were motivated the first couple weeks, but there was always a conflict in our schedules. I didn’t want to go to the gym by myself because, well, I guess I thought I would embarrass myself.

A lot of other people signed up for gym memberships as well. They never went. I eventually transferred my membership to another coworker.

I’m convinced that most people [your standard, out-of-shape American who means well and would like to improve their overall physical health] purchase gym memberships and never go.

I think I’m going to find the local support group: “Heavy-set and Unmotivated” and offer discounted memberships to Josh’s Jym. I wouldn’t even need to setup shop.

1. Were you raised in a particular religious faith?
No. I went to Sunday School for a little while when I was a wee lad. My parents [both raised Catholic] left me with the choice. I decided that I didn’t like church, so they didn’t make me go. I’m not Baptized.
2. Do you still practice that faith? Why or why not?
Yes – in my own conscious, meditative way. I believe more in science and evolution. I’m agnostic [noncommittal].
3. What do you think happens after death?
I’m not sure. Heaven, Hell, purgatory and reincarnation
4. What is your favorite religious ritual (participating in or just observing)?
Lighting black candles and sacrificing goats? Not dying? Going to church on Christmas eve with Elise because it makes her happy.
5. Do you believe people are basically good?
Unfortunately, yes.

I am Satan personified before approximately 9:30 a.m. on weekdays. I stumble out of bed and mumble profanities while shooting fireballs from my eyes at objects [cats, furniture, carpet] that are in my way. I don’t drink coffee and showers don’t even cool me off. Elise knows to avoid me at all costs before the internal exorcism takes hold.

Today was no exception. I was awakened by the happy voices coming from my alarm radio. I smashed it with my triton and hovered out of bed and onto my feet. As I stumbled to the shower, cats ran and hid. I got dressed and ate breakfast. Elise woke up shortly after and got into the shower. I took a deep breath, contained my demons and peeked my head into the bathroom to ask if Elise if she would do a favor for me before she left for work. As I was leaning into the bathroom, I stepped onto the scale with one foot. *Poof*, the evil was exhumed. I looked down, lifted the other foot onto the scale and noticed that I had lost six pounds.

Walking to work everyday [and watching my calorie intake] has paid off.

In other news, John has accepted a job with the Austin American-Statesman. Jerk. I’m happy for him and Christine. Wouldn’t you know it… after Elise and I move out of Austin, both Philip and John move to Austin. Yarbles! Great bolshy yarblockos!

We were blessed with two very drab days this past weekend. Elise and I had been saving nickels and dimes all week so we could go on a pizza date on Friday. We were both in bad moods on our date. We willfully suspended our sourness, made fun of each other and bought a couple pumpkins and rented Phantasm with our $5 gift certificate from Kevin Smith [shameless plug for the DJ we hired for our wedding reception].

So we went home and I gutted the pumpkins and dehydrated the seeds. Then we watched Phantasm and carved our Jack-o-Lanterns. I’ll try and remember to take pictures of them this week.

A used car salesman’s phone call woke us up shortly after 8:00 a.m. on Saturday. Needless to say, he won’t be getting our business. I hopped out of bed, jumped in the shower and went to get my ears lowered.

I came home and we decided to take Annie to Petco to get her shots. Annie’s our new cat. She adopted us. She’s a cool cat, just a little skittish. We decided that it probably wouldn’t be seen as humane if we brought a pillowcase with a cat in it to a pet store. We drove over to Wal-Mart and bought a cat carrier. Then we drove home to get Annie. Drove to Petco. We missed the vet by a few minutes. We drove back home and Elise called a local vet. Luckily we were able to get an appointment. $100 later, we have a healthy cat.

I think that’s all we did on Saturday. Oops, no. We went to HEB to buy ingredients for chili. I made chili for dinner. We ate chili and flipped channels to watch game six of the World Series, the A&M vs. Nebraska game and the Halloween Marathon on AMC.

On Sunday, we woke up a little before 10:00 a.m. I jumped on the computer to realize that the time had changed. Now it was only 9:00 a.m. Elise went to church at 11. I goofed around on the Inertnet. We went and saw Jackass: The Movie at 1:30. Elise had to turn her head a few times. I engaged in a lot of much needed juvenile laughter. After the past few months that I’ve been having, I needed some sophomoric enlightenment.

I watched the Anaheim Angels win the World Series. I have had absolutely no interest in baseball in nearly twenty years. I was always the kid who was hit by the ball in little league. I don’t know why, but I started watching the World Series at game 4.

1. What is your favorite scary movie?
hmmmm… The Shining. I don’t know.
2. What is your favorite Halloween treat?
Candy corn
3. Do you dress up for Halloween? If so, describe your best Halloween costume.
Not usually.
4. Do you enjoy going to haunted houses or other spooky events?
Yes. I like big production haunted houses. I need to attend more.
5. Will you dress up for Halloween this year?
No. We’re boring. I will when we have kids. Hopefully we’ll have a lot of money by then so I can go hog wild.

• I thought this was pretty neat. It’s a great way to chronicle your age.
• El is from Iowa. I’m a native Texan. She says “pop”, I say “coke”. We’ve accepted this.

  In Texas, most people say “Coke”. But
  overall, most people say “pop”.

• Here’s an interesting game… if you’re into fat
  naked dudes.
• Play with some fridge
  magnets.
• Just sit back and let this human
  clock page refresh itself.
• I’m the ‘adventurous’ type. What’s your personality?
• Be
  the Osbournes in a Sims-like environment.

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I think this is pretty funny.

According to the Box Office Prophet’s 50 Favorite Horror Films, I have 15 good horror movies yet to check out. There are only 10 more days until Halloween. I better get crackin’! Despite the films that I have not yet seen, I think I would exclude Scream. I really didn’t like that movie [or any of the sequels]. I would have pushed Jacob’s Ladder, Stir of Echos, Rosemary’s Baby and The Blair Witch Project up a few more slots closer to number one. I just purchased Army of Darkness on Saturday.

Movie:	Seen It	Own It
50) I Walked With a Zombie
49) Riget (The Kingdom) Parts 1 and 2
48) Poltergeist	x
47) Army of Darkness	x	x
46) Au Rendezvous de la Mort Joyeuse
45) King Kong	x
44) Stir of Echoes	x
43) The Omen III
42) Candyman	x
41) April Fool’s Day
40) Event Horizon
39) Jacob’s Ladder	x
38) Masque of the Red Death
37) Braindead (AKA Dead Alive)	x
36) Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)	x
35) Carrie	x
34) Rosemary’s Baby	x	x
33) Scanners
32) Blade	x
31) Re-Animator
30) Pitch Black
29) Aliens	x
28) The Others	x
27) Hellraiser	x
26) Hellbound: Hellraiser 2
25) The Eye
24) The Hitcher	x
23) Freaks
22) The Sixth Sense	x
21) Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)	x
20) The Innocents
19) Phantasm	x
18) Jaws	x
17) The Birds	x
16) The Thing	x
15) Suspiria	x
14) Night of the Living Dead (1968)	x
13) The Blair Witch Project	x	x
12) Silence of the Lambs	x
11) Scream	x
10) The Exorcist	x	x
9) Psycho	x
8) Dead by Dawn: Evil Dead 2	x
7) Dawn of the Dead
6) Alien	x
5) Halloween	x	x
4) The Haunting (1963)	x
3) Nightmare on Elm Street	x	x
2) The Evil Dead	x
1) The Shining	x	x

I installed XP last night. I’m happy now. It’s like I have a brand new computer. Everything is so smooth.

Ironically, while I was installing XP [and talking on the phone], I saw 3 or 4 switch commercials. I thought about it for a second and began wondering if Apple is pushing so hard because of XP. I have nothing personal against Apple… hell, I’d use one because Tony Hawk endorses them!

I bought a Windows XP Home upgrade on eBay last night. My computer is pretty much hosed right now. Not really hosed, but it reminds me of Johnny’s old maroon Ford Aerostar in which we used to cruise around. When you banged on the dashboard on the driver’s side, the radio station would change. When you banged on the dash on the passenger’s side, the dome light would turn on. Everything worked, but not as it was intended.

I was beginning to worry that I might have to start using duct tape to open Photoshop.

Mom bought us a copy of XP Home for Christmas last year. Instead of putting the new operating system on my computer, I installed it on Elise’s computer because I read that certain manufacturers hadn’t planned on developing drivers for XP. Elise didn’t like XP and wanted to go back to Win98SE. Because of Microsoft’s new Product Activation, this single copy of XP can now only go on her computer.

I’ve kicked around the idea of installing Linux as my primary OS. I even own a copy of Red Hat’s Linux 7.3. My interpretation of every installation tutorial that I’ve read suggests partitioning your hard drive to leave one normal OS on your computer. I’d be willing to bet money that Linux wouldn’t easily support half of my peripherals and software. By that I mean that it would take more time and effort than I have available and would eventual find myself standing behind this group of striking young Linux enthusiasts. I like computers and all, but not that much.

So my copy of XP is in the mail today. Hopefully I’ll have it by this weekend so I can have a nice little project to work on. Now I have to backup all of my files.

In other news… Luciana gave me a ride home yesterday. I accepted only because I didn’t want to lug my motorcycle jacket home. It was too hot to wear it and it wouldn’t fit in my backpack. Today I wore two fleece pullovers. Those fit into my backpack.

Elise has me watching The Bachelor. I think she’s trying to soften me up. She’s turned me into a Friends fan as well. I could be watching a special on after-market carbon-fiber ground effects for sport motorcycles on Speedvision when I look at the clock and shriek “Omagawd, Friends is on and it’s the episode where we find out if Chandler and Monica are really moving to Tulsa!!!”

Okay – that’s a slight exaggeration. In actuality, I come strutting into the living room fifteen minutes after her show has started. This is usually after I’ve completed a dozen or so bench press reps with railroad ties and just eaten 20 ounces of rattlesnake meat with poisonous centipede au jus and polishing off a highball of 10W-30 on the rocks.

I’m wondering if watching The Bachelor with Elise is some sort of test. I openly critique other women’s physiques, personalities, faces, hair and head. Yes, I said head. There’s one bachelorette who looks like she has a Magic Bubble brain hemorrhage. Anyway, Elise engages in the same critiques – I just hope she doesn’t think I’m ogling. Ehhh, It doesn’t matter, she told me she thought Robert Redford was still “hot” [in Indecent Proposal].