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This past weekend was a relatively quiet one. I surprised Elise and took her to The Oasis to see the sunset on Friday evening. We went over to John and Christine’s afterwards and hung out by the pool for a little while.

On Saturday, Elise and I drove around and looked at houses. And looked. And looked. We’re trying to get an idea of what neighborhoods and types of houses we like.

We woke up early on Sunday and went grocery shopping. We hadn’t gone to the grocery story in a month or so. We came back home, watched a few episodes of the Sopranos on DVD and I made stuffed, 4 cheese cannelloni. I also made watermelon smoothies with boysenberry sorbet and ginger.

It’s been a long week. The boss is in England so I’ve been very busy at work (you’d think it would be the complete opposite). On Tuesday I was treated to a fajita lunch at El Arroyo by my wife, El Directoro de Cateringo. I hung out with Harold on Wednesday. Usually I take the Jeep so he and I can go someplace. This time Elise had the Jeep so I had to ride the trusty Shadow to Harold’s house. We played basketball in his driveway and I showed him how a motorcycle works. I had to cut our visit short because the skies turned black and I knew I needed to get back home eventually. I was rained on on the way home. If you’ve ever ridden a motorcycle in the rain, even during a light sprinkle, you know the pain. A SUV drove up beside me and gave me a couple gentle honks. I looked over and the passenger, a girl who I would guess was the same age me, gave me a kindly, sympathetic wave as she stuck out her bottom lip. I smiled and nodded. That sympathy made me feel a little better.

I kicked a girl in the nose while sparring in Tae Kwon Do class last night. I don’t say that because I’m proud. We ended class early so we could all huddle around her and watch while she dabbed the blood with a paper towel and listen to yours truly repeatedly say “I am soooooooo sorry”. It really was an accident. It was one of those foot-and-face-meet-each-other-because-they-were-traveling-towards-each-other type things. She lunged as I was kicking. I felt really bad. I apologized profusely.

That’s pretty much what’s been going on recently.

I took the first step in the actual pursuit of a home. Elise and I have been doing a lot of research and consulting with family, friends, Fannie Mae and the credit union. I e-mailed Della, a realtor who happens to be a third degree black belt and my instructor’s wife and gave her our criteria. She said she’s going to start looking for us.

Since Elise started working, we’ve been putting her earnings into a secondary savings account that I setup specifically for the purchase of a house. I’m sure that once Della starts sending us information on houses, we’ll become more motivated to save more and to save it faster!

Elise and I took John to the Round Rock Express game on Friday night. The weather was really nice and the park was quite impressive (I’m not really a baseball fan). We really didn’t watch much of the game. We sat and talked and laughed at John while he spilled Buffalo wing crumbs on the guy sitting in front of us.

After the game, we took John home and Elise and I caught up with the remnants of a bachelor party. We met up with the boys at Club Austin, then we trekked all the way to Fado, then finally to Katz’s for a late night dinner.

We began shopping for new wheels and tires for the Jeep on Saturday. That took pretty much most of the day. We’re going to beef the Jeep up with 32″ tires. For dinner, I cooked the elk tenderloin filets that had been marinating for the past couple days. I really undercooked them, so that kind of hosed the meal. I had made garlic and rosemary mashed potatoes, but they were cold by the time the elk was done. Wow – the elk was awesome!!! Very tender, very flavorful. Definitely going on my menu whenever I own my own restaurant. I want to try ostrich and antelope next. After dinner, Elise and I went over to Tommy’s to watch boxing.

We slept in on Sunday. I woke up in time to make a grilled salmon salad for lunch. Veggies, grilled salmon and a raspberry vinaigrette. We were homebodies most of the day. We did make a special trip down Barton Springs so we could buy two 90 cent frozen custards at Sandy’s.

We decided to splurge last night and bought tickets to the upcoming Aerosmith/Kiss concert.

Crap! I forgot to tell everyone that Elise and I had a baby. We kept meaning to call and tell our friends and family, but it seemed as if we always became sidetracked by something usually pretty important. One time, we were going to call my parents to tell them but we found ourselves in a heated debate over pro mint waxed floss or cinnamon waxed floss (not pro).

Actually, these are photos of Amanda Morgan Karotkin (AKA Mandy Mo), offspring of Bill and Andrea.

I’ve had two weird dreams in the past few days. I usually don’t remember my dreams. I’ve also been waking up before my alarm. On Monday morning I dreamt that I was bitten on my left big toe by a cobra. Elise and I were visiting with some random anglo man outside of a temple type building. I looked up and noticed a cobra dangling from a wooden cylinder that was part of the building’s architecture. As I stepped away, I felt a sharp pain on my foot. I looked down to see a cobra letting loose of my toe and slithering off.

I asked Elise and Mr. Random Anglo to rush me to the hospital. They were in no hurry. I started getting mad. I told them that I was beginning to feel light headed. Still no rush. Elise and Mr. Anglo just continued to talk. I began walking to the Jeep, I guess to take myself to the hospital and that’s when the alarm went off.

I told Elise about this dream. She wondered if I felt as if she was neglecting me in some way.

I had a dream this morning where a group of us witnessed a man who was run over by one of those rolling pin tractors that are used when paving a road. He wasn’t crushed, he was just pressed into the ground. He pulled himself out of his self-shaped hole and started walking around.

Today is Elise’s first full day on the job as the Catering Manager for El Arroyo. She will no longer be working with me anymore. I was made aware of this situation yesterday evening. It never dawned on me that I wouldn’t be seeing my wife in the office anymore. We will no longer be able to go home for lunch together.

Elise and I made the long trek to the frozen tundra known as Des Moines over the long Fourth of July weekend. By frozen tundra, I mean 100 + degrees and more humid than Houston. Really. It was cooler in Austin when we left last Wednesday evening.

Elise and I stayed in Dallas with our friend Jenni. We woke up early and drove straight through to Des Moines. Texas. Oklahoma. Kansas. Missouri. Iowa. I-35 the whole way. We stopped and took pictures of yours truly by the state line signs. Another couple had the same idea. This other couple pulled in behind us at the Oklahoma sign, and then again at the Kansas sign. What are the odds of that happening? They were heading to Nebraska so we didn’t see them at the Missouri sign.

After stopping in northern Missouri to purchase bulk quantities of colorful explosives from the largest fireworks warehouse I’ve ever seen, we chugged on through to Des Moines. We exchanged quick hellos with Elise’s parents and then headed over to Lindsey’s house to meet her new son, Liam. After 12 + hours in the car, we were both ready for bed. We drove back to Steve and Joanne’s house to find that the air conditioning was not working. Steve and Joanne volunteered to be part of a program through the local utility company where their home’s air conditioner will be turned off (remotely by the utility company) for 20 minutes during peak hours. After a couple hours, we realized that something wasn’t right. Elise and I were so tired that we really didn’t have a hard time falling to sleep despite the hot and humid inside climate.

We woke up on Friday and went to the Fourth of July parade in Urbandale with Heather and her daughter Juliet and Jimmy and his two girls. After the parade Elise and I went to Mom and Dad B’s house where Steve and I painted the back deck with a primer. In the hot sun. I sweated. Profusely. Texas-sized beads of sweat, man.

After a cold shower (still no air conditioning), Elise and I went to Pat and Traci’s house in West Des Moines for a FOJ barbecue. That’s Fourth of July for you PWCFOAVW. That’s People Who Can’t Figure Out Acronyms Very Well. After a great bratwurst barbecue, Heather, Jimmy, Juliet, Elise and I drove to Grandma T’s house to sit in the Cold Day Sack and watch the Urbandale fireworks display. Oh yeah, that’s French for a street shaped not much unlike a thermometer.

The fireworks display was awesome. Plus, after five years of being with Elise and knowing most of her family, I was finally able to meet Uncle Mike. Uncle Mike is Joanne’s brother. He reminds me of one of my uncles. Everyone always ‘warned’ me of Uncle Mike. I actually enjoyed Uncle Mike’s company. My in-laws were keeping an eye on me and even extended an invitation to join in on their conversation just a few feet away, I guess to keep me from harm. See, Uncle Mike is approximately 6′ 7″ and, if I had to guess, approximately 375 lbs. and prone to giving loving, but vertebrae splintering bear hugs. He’s a very compassionate man who just doesn’t know his own strength. I was told that he once fractured a man’s humorous when engaging in a standard hi-five after a soft ball game.

I’m just joshin’. Uncle Mike is probably 5′ 8″ and a buck and a half. He’s the “black sheep”. I put that in quotes because that’s what I was told. He uses one of those microphone-shaped-voice-box-vibrator things to speak because he had his larynx removed due to cancer. After we warmed up to one another, I asked if I could try out his voice. He said no. I asked if he would be willing to Sumo wrestle for it. He said okay. I then decided that it would take me to long to find my diaper and I didn’t think I had another one to spare for him. So instead, we just watched the fireworks. Uncle Mike kept saying “zzzzzzzzBoomzzzzzzz”. and then we would both laugh.

After the fireworks display ended, Elise, Eric (Elise’s brother), Kari and I did the only patriotic thing we could think of: Drive into someone else’s corn field and ignite consumer-grade fireworks that just so happen to be illegal in the state of Iowa. I mention a corn field because there aren’t that many corn fields in Iowa. Believe me. Luckily I was traveling with natives of this Midwestern region and they were able to navigate to a remote location that contained a few stalks of corn. I couldn’t have done that on my own.

Our patriotism was cut short by near-tornadic winds and rain. We tracked four pounds of corn soil and a gallon of water into the Jeep, took Kari home, then Eric. Elise and I then went home.

We woke up on Saturday and went to the farmers’ market. Steve and Joanne bought some fresh greens, Iowa chops and some funny looking yellow vegetables. These vegetables have very small “kernels” growing in near-symmetric rows on something that I was told is called an “ear”. Elise and I bought a little over a pound of farm raised elk tenderloin filets from some very friendly locals. The marketing strategy that forced me into buying their product: Mr. Reitsma let us all sample an elk round steak. I’m really excited about cooking the filets we brought back with us.

We went to Autographs Rock ‘n’ Roll Sports Bar & Grill for lunch where Eric gave us the V.I.P. treatment. That meant sitting in the V.I.P. room and eating waaaay too much food. Eric is the Kitchen Manager at Autographs. I was lucky enough to be sitting in front of a glass encased Stratocaster, signed by all of the members of Metallica.

Later that evening Elise and I went over to Lindsey’s house to hang out with Lindsey, Liam, Heather, Juliet, Kari and Lindsey’s parents. Elise and I went back home and Steve and I sat on our primed porch and talked about life and motorcycles until the wee hours of the morning.

We woke up late on Sunday just in time for Iowa chops, mixed green salad and that weird cylindrical-shaped yellow “ear” vegetable. Elise and I then packed, loaded the Jeep, said our sad goodbyes and hit the road. We stopped in Kansas to visit Elise’s Grandpa. Unfortunately it wasn’t a face to face conversation. We looked down at Grandpa T’s grave which is nestled next to a nice shade tree. I didn’t say it out loud, but I thanked Grandpa T. for Joanne, and ultimately Elise.

Elise drove the entire nine hours to Norman, Oklahoma where we stopped and stayed at the Super 8. We had a couple of beers to relax and then went to bed.

I drove the last leg all the way back to Austin on Monday. We were exhausted when we finally made it back home. Coming home is always such a bummer. Although the trip was short, we had a really nice time. It was good to see Elise’s family, friends and friends’ new babies. And Nooooooo – before you ask – we’re not there yet – Baby-wise, I mean.

Elise and I are embarking on our trip to the city of Des Moines this evening. We will be leaving after work and staying the night with our friend, Jenni in Dallas. We will then wake up first thing in the morning and drive straight through.

I really wasn’t looking forward to this trip at first, but now I’m getting excited. I wasn’t excited because at the time of discussion, we didn’t have a lot of money and I know — I’m calling it here — something is going to happen to the Jeep. I’m putting my money on a blowout somewhere in northern Kansas.

According to my calculations, the drive one way is 934.94 miles and will take us 15 hours and 12 minutes. Wuff.

I made this recipe last night. I added a teaspoon of spicy red curry paste and a ton of chopped cilantro for a little kick. I liked this dish a lot. Elise didn’t like it as much.

Szechuan Noodles

6 garlic cloves, chopped
1/4 cup fresh ginger, peeled and chopped
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1/2 cup tahini (sesame paste)
1/2 cup smooth peanut butter
1/2 cup good soy sauce
1/4 cup dry sherry
1/4 cup sherry vinegar
1/.4 cup honey
1/2 teaspoon hot chili oil
2 tablespoons dark sesame oil
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1/8 teaspoon ground cayenne pepper
1 pound spaghetti
1 red bell pepper, julienned
1 yellow bell pepper, julienned
4 scallions, sliced diagonally (white and green parts)

Place the garlic and ginger in a food processor fitted with a steel blade. Add the vegetable oil, tahini, peanut butter, soy sauce, sherry, sherry vinegar, honey, chili oil, sesame oil, and ground peppers. Puree the sauce.

Add splash of oil to a large pot of boiling salted water and cook the spaghetti al dente. Drain the pasta in a colander, place it in a large bowl, and while still warm, toss with three-quarters of the sauce. Add the red and yellow bell peppers and scallions; toss well. Serve warm or at room temperature. The remaining sauce may be added, as needed, to moisten the pasta.

Don’t combine the sauce with the pasta until the last minute; the soy sauce tends to break down the noodles and make them mushy.

Elise got home from work earlier than we both had expected. We went over to John and Christine’s so that John and I could run wires for the outside speakers.

After a couple hours of intense design, engineering and manual labor, we found that we needed to run the source (John’s iPod) through an amplifier (the head unit of his home stereo – conveniently located on the other side of the house). Since we didn’t have enough RCA and speaker wire, we decided to eat. I’m not sure if this project will be completed. I guess I’ll have to wait to hear from John.

Elise and I saw 28 Days Later on Sunday. Not at all what I was expecting. It’s okay. I’d suggest you wait 12 x 28 Days for it to come out on DVD. I guess Freddy vs. Jason will be the scary movie this year.

I bought an Atari 2600 on eBay the weekend before last. I’m yet to swing by Radio Shack to purchase an RCA to coax adapter. After that, it’s all about the Space Invaders.

Elise called Time Warner today. We’re downgrading to the lowest level of cabledom one can have. We’re doing this because we can’t completely get rid of cable without buying some sort of amplified amateur radio operator antenna to hang out of our patio door in order to get local channels. We have to pay $12/month to watch any form of broadcast television. Anyway… I’m going to miss the Food Network and American Chopper.

It’s early Saturday evening. My catering manager wife is at work. Elise is ‘working’ a thirty year high school reunion downtown. She just called me from the kitchen to give me the scoop on her first day. I can tell she’s really excited. She was listing all of the things she wants to change, add and improve upon. She told me she’s nervous that got herself into something big. That’s a good thing though. I’m bored and lonely.

In other news… I had to perform minor surgery on my computer today. I was downloading some live bootlegged recordings from an independent artist so I could listen to only a portion of the song to verify my liking and immediately rush to the record store and plunk down $20 for the entire album (scroll down to read the comments). For some reason, I decided to try out a new p2p client. Do not download Grokster. If you do, don’t contact me to ask how to remove all of the spyware that comes with said software.

Harold and I went to the circus last night. We left during the intermission. We were both greatly disappointed. It’s not really even worth going into detail. I will admit that it was a feast for the eyes. There was so much going in the center of the Erwin Center that you could easily find something at which to stare blankly.

I’d venture to say that the highlights were: T.M. the Gator Guy near-abusively man handling obviously sedated alligators. A trail of elephants moping around the arena, every last one of their inner monologues being “Please, would someone just shoot us all now.” And horses with equal amounts of unbearable fear and lethargy in their eyes. It was sad.

I don’t like the circus. I semi poked fun at PETA (and they were there – they even handed a flier to Harold) but I think I have to take their side. I’d much rather watch an elephant grazing in the Serengeti on the Discover Channel than watch them being herded in person.