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Too many peanuts

I can’t help but laugh at this error in communication. Yesterday I asked Jenny to order packing peanuts. We also needed to order bubble wrap but I waited on Sue to determine how many rolls I needed to buy. Sue and Jenny were going to coordinate our purchase order with our vendor. I left the office and forgot to ask if and what they ordered.

This afternoon Lacee asked if bubble wrap and packing peanuts had been ordered. I didn’t know. I wasn’t made aware if Sue and Jenny had coordinated their order. I had Lacee place the order with our vendor.

We accidentally double ordered. Our vendor is so great that if you place an order before 6 p.m., you’ll receive your order the next day.

I have close to 700 cubic feet of biodegradable starch packing peanuts and 4500 feet (that’s 700 feet short of a mile) of 48″ wide bubble wrap in the warehouse.

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You know I don\’t like trail mix


Drop Dead Sexy

We just got back from seeing the second screening of “Drop Dead Sexy” at the Paramount. As it does every March, SXSW has taken over the city. We drove by the Paramount three times while looking for a place to park. There was a huge line outside the theatre and we both thought there was no way we could get in without a badge. Elise dropped me off so I could stand in line while she looked for a spot to park. As I was walking toward the end of the line I heard “Josh!”. It was our friend Greg. He was already waiting in line and allowed for me to have a better spot in line.

Elise caught up shortly after.

“Drop Dead Sexy” is a very funny movie. It’s a dark comedy about two friends, Eddie (Crispin Glover), a “subterranean architect” and Frank (Jason Lee), a recently-fired used car lot mascot who are commission by Spider to smuggle cigarettes into Mexico by means of a pickup truck.

Needless to say, the plan doesn’t quite work out and Eddie and Frank owe a large amount of money to Spider. The duo exhume the body of Crystal, a recently buried ex-stripper who was also the wife of Harkness, a wealthy bigwig in the local trucking business. Eddie remembered seeing a “beautiful” diamond necklace on the neck of the deceased at the wake. Eddie was also the one who buried the body.

Drop Dead Sexy

The two dig the body from her grave only to find no necklace. They decide to keep the body for ransom and get their money from Harkness to pay off Spider. Hilarity ensues and Eddie begins to have feelings for the corpse. It’s a twisted and hilarious film. Oh yeah, and then there’s the Coors Light twins who also make a couple appearances.

I can’t remember the last time I laughed outloud while watching a movie. Crispin Glover is a riot – he’s such a unique actor.

So… we stayed to watch the credits roll after the movie had ended. Half the audience left. Elise and I sat patiently in our seats and sure enough…

Elise Janicek is in the credits. It actually went something like this:

“Special thanks to Clay “Thunder” McPhail, Elise Janicek, Rob Olvera and El Arroyo”.

It’s really cool to see your wife’s name in movie credits. Now I’m going to have to focus my efforts on convincing Elise that it’s not necessary for her to wear sunglasses everywhere she goes.

15 seconds of fame so far. 14 minutes and 45 seconds to go…

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People with Hartz

I own and operate HartzVictims.org. I’ve been doing so for almost three years. Once a week I get someone who sends me an email:

I recently put hartz flea drops on my two cats. Within minutes of doing so they were having seizures and eyes rolled back in the head and walking around like they were drunk. They couldn’t even stand up by themselves. I called the vet right away who told me to wash it off immediately. My cats are my babies and would have been distrot had something happened to them. I have been told never to use your products again and my vet said that this is not an uncommon thing. I think that if you have any respect for animals you will take these products off the shelves immediately. I am very regretful that I bought your products and will never do it again!

It’s getting so hard for me to bite my lip and respectfully respond. I understand that people are upset and looking for a punching bag… uggghhhh. It’s frustrating. It’s frustrating because 1) Hartz is an evil corporation and 2) I’m not the punching bag they’re looking for.

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Video games

I suck at Halo 2. I suck at all video games. Well, except for Contra on the original NES. Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A Start.

I wanted Halo 2 when it first came out. I thought it would be one of those fun, action packed and easy games where you just cruise around and blow stuff up and kill aliens. Yeah, it’s kind of like that, but you have to have three hands and seven thumbs to do so. I don’t understand how people can get anywhere in these games. One would need to train for hours on a daily basis. Do these people not have jobs? Do they not have classes to attend? Is a professional Halo 2 player a vocaton?

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Cooking with pain

Sunday night I made crab cakes from the left over lump crab meat from Friday night’s meal. I just remembered that while I was making Friday’s meal, I stuck my pan with vegetables into the oven while I grilled the salmon. When it was time to plate up, I grabbed the pan in the oven with my bare hand. That hurt.

While cooking my crab cakes on Sunday, I somehow managed to stick my finger into the pan that contained 400-some-odd degree vegetable oil. That hurt.

Almost one year ago to the date I grabbed a piping hot pizza stone from the oven with my bare hand. That hurt.

Last night I lobbed off a chunk of my left thumb with my old chef’s knife while cutting squash.

Elise is getting back on her Weight Watchers thing again. I’m going to avoid the kitchen for the rest of March and let her cook.

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“Drop Dead Sexy” world premiere

Elise’s boss called at 12:30 this morning. He’d just watched the world premiere of “Drop Dead Sexy” at the Paramount during the SXSW Film Festival.

Elise was the caterer during the filming that took place at Donn’s Depot on 5th street back in March of last year.

We were told that Elise’s name is in the movie credits. How cool is that?!? We can’t wait to see the movie!

Watch KXAN’s interview with Drop Dead Sexy star Melissa Keller here.

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M.A.S.K.

I’ve decided to acquire once more a set of toys that I owned as a little boy. The toy set was based in the 80’s afternoon cartoon, M.A.S.K.

I got “Hurricane” in the mail today.

M.A.S.K.

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Smoked Sockeye Salmon with Roasted Garlic and Anaheim Bearnaise

Smoked SalmonApplewood smoked Sockeye salmon with roasted garlic and Anaheim bearnaise topped with lump crab meat and caviar. On the side sauteed turnips, zucchini and red peppers and smashed potato and poblano galettes with matchstick potatoes.

I hate to toot my own horn but that was a damn good meal.

    Garlic & Anaheim bearnaise
    1 bulb garlic roasted
    1 anaheim pepper
    1/2 C. white wine vinegar
    1 shallot
    4 egg yolks
    clarified butter
    1 C. boiling water

    Boil finely chopped garlic, shallot and anaheim in vinegar until almost all of the liquid has evaporated. Remove from heat and allow to cool.

    With a wire wisk, add egg yolks one at a time, stirring constantly. Temp with hot water very slowly. Whisk in clarified butter.

    Smashed Potato & Poblano Galette
    1 lb. potato of you choice
    1/2 lb. sweet potato
    1 large poblano pepper
    1 shallot
    1 tsp chili powder
    1 tsp white pepper
    1 tsp cumin
    1/4 C. clarified butter

    Shred potatoes and drain on paper towels. Coursely chop poblano and shallot. Add all ingredients in mixing bowl. Toss.

    Heat oil to smoking point in large skillet. Add potato mixture and spread mix to form a large pancake. Cook to golden brown on both sides. Remove from skillet and warm at 400 degrees in oven for 15 minutes. Remove from oven, smash pancake with hands and add 2 tablespoons brown sugar. Salt to taste.

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Red, White and Crue

On April 15th, you might be struggling to get your taxes done in time. Elise and I will be at the SBC Center in San Antonio with Mötley Crüe!!!

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John\’s 29

John’s birthday was this past Thursday. For his present I cooked a nice dinner for John, Christine, Elise and myself on Friday evening.

Applewood smoked Sockeye salmon with roasted garlic and Anaheim bearnaise topped with lump crab meat and caviar. On the side sauteed turnips, zucchini and red peppers and smashed potato and poblano galettes with matchstick potatoes. [photo]

I hate to toot my own horn but that was a damn good meal.

    Garlic & Anaheim bearnaise
    1 bulb garlic roasted
    1 anaheim pepper
    1/2 C. white wine vinegar
    1 shallot
    4 egg yolks
    clarified butter
    1 C. boiling water

    Boil finely chopped garlic, shallot and anaheim in vinegar until almost all of the liquid has evaporated. Remove from heat and allow to cool.

    With a wire wisk, add egg yolks one at a time, stirring constantly. Temp with hot water very slowly. Whisk in clarified butter.

    Smashed Potato & Poblano Galette
    1 lb. potato of you choice
    1/2 lb. sweet potato
    1 large poblano pepper
    1 shallot
    1 tsp chili powder
    1 tsp white pepper
    1 tsp cumin
    1/4 C. clarified butter

    Shred potatoes and drain on paper towels. Coursely chop poblano and shallot. Add all ingredients in mixing bowl. Toss.

    Heat oil to smoking point in large skillet. Add potato mixture and spread mix to form a large pancake. Cook to golden brown on both sides. Remove from skillet and warm at 400 degrees in oven for 15 minutes. Remove from oven, smash pancake with hands and add 2 tablespoons brown sugar. Salt to taste.

Here are some photos of the evening.

Around 10:30, Philip showed up after a long drive from Houston where he picked up his Z06 Corvette. Damn, that car is awesome. I’ll leave it up to your imagination how fast we drove down Wm. Cannon. That car is unreal! And Riley approved.

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Pusher

I never know when to call something ironic, a metaphor or a prime number. I’ll call this one ironaphoric.

I patronize a local liquor store to buy my scotch. Linda, the lady who works at the liquor store, and I got to talking yesterday. She mentioned that she takes vitamins. My company sells an entire line of wellness products.

Long story short, I bought Linda a bottle of one of our top selling women’s multi-vitamins and delivered today along with a ton of literature on osteoporosis, women’s health and an entire product list. She bought me a bottle of wine, gave me a few hugs and a few “God bless yous”.

So I’m pushing wellness and she’s buying. She’s pushing fixxxer and I’m buying.