It froze yesterday. Central Texas was under a sheet of ice for 18 hours. I waited until noon today before heading to the office. I passed 22 stranded cars on Hwy 71. Six of which were totalled. One particular truck careened off the road and down a very steep embankment where it met a tree. Another car smashed into a tree just off the highway. It was like driving through a trail of dead vehicles. Or a trail of vehicles driven by Texans in icy weather.
Elise\’s chili
Elise’s called me at 3 o’clock yesterday afternoon and said she was leaving work early so she could go home and cook chili.
“Okay, but use my recipe.”
We got home at the same time and yours truly prepped 91.4% of the recipe. Elise changed a few ingredients so it’s officially hers. She changed the recipe to include ground beef, kidney beans and accidentally guajillo chiles (she picked up chipotles and anchos as well but accidentally threw guajillos in the bag). I added a tomatillo, we used Shiner Bock instead of Saint Arnold Spring Bock and we have an awesome new chili recipe .
They say real Texas chili isn’t supposed to contain beans. I’m a tried and true Texan and I personally like beans in my chili. It adds another flavor and texture element and that’s what chili’s all about. And this recipe is 50% Midwestern.
Jack Frost, meet my ****in\’ fist
I HATE COLD WEATHER. When the temperature drops below 60-degrees, I’m bitching. Early this morning rain drizzled and has been for most of the day. Sometime this afternoon the temperature plummeted to 33-degrees.
As the sun went down the temperature dropped even more and the drizzle began to freeze. That made for a fun commute home. As I was crossing the Pedernales River bridge near Pace Bend, I saw two cars and two Suburbans spin wildly out of control in almost-choreographed unison. One Suburban and one car crashed into the guard rails.
I hate this weather. Wake me up in March. Damnit, I hate this weather.
Have I mentioned that I hate cold weather?
Recent vices
– The Darkness
– Work
– Avoiding deer on the commute home from work.
– Dooce.com
– Cops (TiVo has managed to serve up Cops. Non-stop.)
– Magazine subscriptions. And not paying for them after invoice.
– Trimming ear hair.
– Driving my monster truck into the ground.
Your ass cannot be found here
It’s gotten to the point where I can no longer giggle when I check Janicek.com’s statistics. Nearly 1/4 of my visitors are in search of pirate treasure. 1/6 are looking for BIG pirate treasure. Many are looking for moist pirate treasure while others are searching for unsanitary and epileptic pirate treasure.
“Josh, why are people coming to Janicek.com in search of pirate treasure?”
I’m glad you asked. A couple years ago there was a party held at John and Christine’s house. Seeing how it was a party there was alcohol involved and soon a drinking game ensued among the girls. This game involved a sort of chant where the girls would slap the table and clap their hands in cadence. Slam clap slam clap. They chanted this song while slamming and clapping that went something like this: “Big pirate treasure, big pirate treasure, big pirate treasure. Uh huh. Big pirate treasure.”
I filmed a few minutes of this chanting game, named the video file “bigpiratetreasure.mpg” and uploaded it to the website. A few months later, Google Video and Yahoo! Video were launched and bigpiratetreasure.mpg was indexed. Since then many people have sought video of big, voluptuous, black, bouncy, juicy, nasty, stanky pirate treasure and I HAD IT! Woot!
A few months ago I spent one evening and reworded the reference to pirate treasure on Janicek.com and I renamed and moved the pirate treasure video file. But people still come to Janicek.com in search of pirate treasure.
Here is Yahoo!’s Video Removal Procedure just in case you have a video stored on your server that you don’t want the world to see. Or if you have a lot of pirate treasure.
Yahoo! Video Search – Video Removal Procedure
Standard Removal Procedure:
Yahoo! Video Search crawls the Web for video files, and our crawlers comply with the Robots Exclusion Standard. In order to remove your videos from our index, we require that you create a robots.txt file using the Robots Exclusion Protocol to indicate which files you want excluded.In order to use a robots.txt file, you or your webmaster need to have access to your web site’s hosting server. For more information on the Robots Exclusion Standard and its practice, please visit:
http://www.robotstxt.org/wc/exclusion.html
You must stipulate the following user-agent in your robots.txt file to block Yahoo!’s video crawler from accessing your specific directories or video files:
User-agent: Yahoo-MMAudVid
Once you have placed this file at the root level of your hosting server, Yahoo!’s video crawlers will no longer access those files or directories you have stipulated. Please note that it can take several weeks before your block takes effect in our index depending upon when you first implement your robots.txt file.
Any videos referencing Pirate Treasure are a precious commodity and are exempt from the Robots Exclusion Standard.
Here are the contents of my robots.txt file:
#
User-agent: *
User-agent: Yahoo-MMAudVid
Disallow: /01dz/
Disallow: /cgi-bin/
Disallow: /images/
Disallow: /video/
Disallow: wp-config.php
Disallow: wp-login.php
If that doesn’t work, I don’t know what I’ll do. We’ll see what happens in the weeks to come. If nothing changes than I may just have to embrace the fact that Janicek.com is a great source for your pirate treasure video. Naughty pirate treasure. Aaaaarggg!
OS X apps from the newbie
I’ve had my iBook for a little over year now and thought I would publish my short list of free OS X applications that I use regularly and that have made my “switch” to a Mac a little bit easier.
In no particular order:
Quicksilver – because it’s so much easier to hit a set of key commands to search and open apps than to move the cursor six inches to the dock.
iPhoto Diet – because I love iPhoto but hate the fact that I can’t just browse the contents of my digital camera to delete images that have already been downloaded.
ImageWell – because it makes uploading photos for the website simple.
WhatSize – because I like to know what’s hogging the hard drive.
MacStumbler – because sometimes I need to borrow someone else’s WiFi.
NetNewsWire Lite – because it’s a great little news aggregator. And it’s the free version. I’m cheap like that.
iBackup – because it’s simple and now that I use a Mac exclusively, I’ve made it a habit to backup data on the first of each month.
iProduct – because it works.
Screenshot Plus – because it makes taking screenshots simple.
Reason to own a house #394: The innuendo edition
When Elise and I lived in our last apartment prior to buying our house, I can’t remember how many times I would find myself in the kitchen, beating my meat. I would be in there, just going to town and I would break my concentration and think, “I know the neighbors can hear this.” But there’s really no other way to do it. Now that I own my own house, I can hit it as hard as I want and the neighbors are none-the-wiser.
Round steak, New York strip and chicken. I like to pound those flat on a plastic cutting board with a meat mallet so I can make some sort of rolled and roasted concoction.
Tonight I pounded some yard bird breasts to make a southwestern chicken Flourentine with cinnamon chipotle chutney, raisin and walnut wild rice and acorn squash drizzled with butter and brown sugar.
A great seasonal, Winter meal
Smokin\’ high school chicks
Elise scheduled a dentist appointment for us a few weeks ago for cleanings this past Wednesday. So in that two week window I did some mad flossing so Dr. Cox wouldn’t get pissed at me for not flossing.
Marilisa cleaned my teeth. Marilisa is awesome because she sings while she cleans teeth. She’s a folk singer and it’s nice to listen to her sing her folky songs about folky things while she’s folkin’ with my grill.
Your humble narrator and his wife both have clean pearlies, no cavities, no extreme tartar and no gingivitis. Whew.
On the drive that morning to Dr. Cox’s office I stopped at a red light. I looked at the car to my left and saw two young ladies in a nice hand-me-down sedan. The two seemed of the high school sort and both could easily be perceived as student council representives and/or cheerleaders at first glance.
The light turned green and the hand-me-down sedan accelerated through the intersection. I paced behind. I then saw the driver take a BIG tokeroony from a fluorescent weed pipe. Then she passed it to her copilot and she partook in the inhalation of the funky skunk. Tokeroony and the Funky Skunk would be a good name for a band. Or Dave Matthews’ next album title. I only know this vernacular because I listened to Cypress Hill in the college years. The smell of marijuana has always made me nauseous so I was limited to 40 oz. Olde English or Busch tall boys in my somewhat-remembered wild and wacky college days. All six years of them.
I couldn’t believe it. I officially felt OLD. “Those crazy kids!” I thought to myself. “What are they doing? All smoking the pot before heading to school to tend to their studies.” I thought about speeding up so I could drive along side of them, roll my window down and yell, “Are you on the grass? Is that what you’re doing? The reefer? You’re probably listening to that Puffy Kanye Daddy Diddy Cent music and wasting your lives away! Damn kids.”
The driver sped up enough to get in front of me and then turned into the high school parking lot.
I didn’t think much of it that day. That particular experience popped into my head this week as I continue to think about my unborn child’s life and what he or she will experience in it’s life. I can only pray that Elise and I can pass along our moral strengths and good judgement. And a Cypress Hill CD.
Pesce morto
Rest in peace Carmela
Somewhere between 1 a.m. and 6 a.m. this morning Carmela decided to leave us for a better place. She held on for a little over a month. She had been sick since we brought her home and her partner, Tony Soprano kept her going as long as he could. Research indicates that Carmela suffered from a form of bladder abnormality that hindered her appetite and balance.
Forensic reports lead us to believe that Carmela hanged herself as indicated in the photo above.
While feeding him fish flakes, I asked Tony Soprano how he felt about the imminent loss. His response: “Wuddya gunna do?”
Who\’s bad?
Number 1 and he (or she) knows it!
You can read more about today here.
Thanksgiving 2005
Elise’s brother, Eric flew in from Des Moines (after a stop in Minneapolis, Chicago and Dallas) last Monday to spend Thanksgiving with us. Elise made beef stroganoff for dinner and Eric and I spent the better part of the evening putting MP3s on his new phone.
Elise went into the office on Tuesday morning and then took Eric for lunch at Guero’s and then to the Stevie Ray Vaughn memorial statue. After I got home from work we all went out for barbecue at The Salt Lick. We then headed over to Westgate Lanes for a rowdy night of bowling but decided against that as there was an hour wait. So we went home and talked until Elise fell asleep. That was a sign that everyone needed to go to sleep.
Elise went to work on Wednesday and I stayed home with Eric. We ran out to meet Brad so I could give him some CDs and I could get my laptop bag. While out I had the truck’s oil changed and Eric and I did some Christmas shopping.
We drove back to the house and I cooked a late lunch. Elise came home shortly after and then we all packed, loaded up and headed to my parents’ house in Cat Spring. We got there just in time for spiral sliced ham and homegrown black eyed peas.
I woke up at 5:30 a.m. on Thanksgiving day to go deer hunting. No luck. I sat there for three hours and watched two little bucks and two little does all morning. Luckily I had my iPod to keep me entertained.
My dad shot this buck two days after my unsucessful hunt.
Later that morning Eric and I were commissioned to remove cedar limbs from above my mom’s new greenhouse. That was a dangerous task. I was standing on a ladder that was layed at an angle between the roof of the green house and a neighboring tree while holding a rope in one hand and a chainsaw in the other. Eric was manning ropes that I tied to limbs in the tree so they wouldn’t crash down on me or through the skylights when I cut them.
Mom’s new greenhouse
Mom, Elise and Eric went for a tour of the pasture while I took a nap on the couch and dad watched football. Later that afternoon dad cooked 2″ ribeye steaks. Dad and I vetoed the traditional Thanksgiving dinner of turkey and dressing this year because we don’t really like turkey and dressing. Steaks it was and they were great. That evening consisted of watching two hours of The Apprentice.
We woke up early on Friday, ate breakfast, said bye to mom and dad and then drove off due north to Okeene, Oklahoma. Along the way we listened to the UT vs. A&M game. Once we crossed the border it was time to discuss names for the baby. After an hour the three of us couldn’t come up with any names that stuck.
It was then that Elise and Eric talked about work. And talked about work. And talked about work. I started watching a movie on the iBook and was getting distracted by the siblings talking about work. I exclaimed, “we’re on vacation, stop talking about work.” Eric concurred. And then they continued their conversation about work.
We got to Grandma Boeckman’s house shortly after dinner time. Luckily they saved the three weary travelers some fried catfish and hushpuppies. We stayed up and talked with all of the uncles, aunts and cousins. Steve, Joanne, Elise and I stood in the kitchen and became a great baby naming ensemble. We came up with great first and middle names for both a boy and a girl.
Elise, Eric and I went to the motel and turned in for the night. On Saturday we drove back over to Grandma’s for the annual Boeckman Thanksgiving. Lunchtime quickly reared its head and we all feasted. As always the food was great and it was good to talk to Elise’s family.
After lunch many of us migrated to the living room to watch the OU vs. OSU game. It’s weird being in Oklahoma among Oklahomans, watching two rival Oklahoma college football teams battle it out and try to figure out who’s rooting for who.
The weather was oddly agreeable this year. Uncle Mike used his Crocodile Hunter skills and caught an armadillo in Grandma’s back yard. Mike and Neil took a .22 and said armadillo behind the barn and I’ll leave the rest up to your imagination. I practiced my swing with Steve’s pitching wedge in the back yard and showed Elise’s little second cousin, Catch how to hit golf balls.
Night fell and most migrated to the kitchen for leftovers. After dinner Neil and I sat on the back porch and I think I pretty much have him sold on buying an iBook. Some of the guys went down to the basement where we talked about investments, eBay and Mythbusters.
Bed time grew near and again Elise, Eric and I drove back to the motel and called it a night. We woke up early on Sunday and drove back out to Grandma B’s house for breakfast and bid farewells.
Elise, Joanne and Eric took our truck and Steve and I took the van. We caravaned to Perry, OK to meet up with Grandma Thurston so she could ride back to Des Moines with Steve, Joanne and Eric. Grandma T spent Thanksgiving Joanne’s brother, Mark and his family. Grandma T didn’t know that Elise and I were going to show up so it was a great surprise for her. We met at Braum’s (the north Texas/Oklahoma version of Dairy Queen) for breakfast. We sat and talked for a couple hours and then it was time to head home. We took a few pictures and parted ways. Steve, Joanne, Eric and Grandma headed north up I-35, Elise and I headed south.
Elise drove the first leg and did a damn fine job seeing how crosswinds through Oklahoma were gusting at 40 mph. It was unreal! We were already running later than normal as we detoured for breakfast with Grandma so we decided to delay our trip more by stopping for a tour of the Oklahoma City National Memorial. Wow! I’m really glad we stopped. What an amazing memorial. It was a good feeling to stop a pay respect to those who lost their lives in the 1995 bombing. I remember when it happened but it was really amazing to read all of the literature and plaques posted throughout the memorial and get all of the details about what happened. We were both in awe as we looked at the architecture of the memorial and how the entire site was designed to honor those who lost their lives.
Solemnly we made our way back to the truck and headed south towards home. After passing the accident on the Texas/Oklahoma border, I decided I would relieve Elise and take over driving for the rest of the trip. I tapped Elise on the shoulder to wake her up and offered to drive. Yours truly drove the last half of the trip. The 35W and 35E merger just north of Hillsboro is the bain of my existence. Every year we get stuck there as other weary travelers are making their way home south for the start of the week.
We left Grandma B’s at 9 a.m. and didn’t get home until 10 p.m. We had a great time though and it’s always a blessing to spend time with our families. We’re thankful for that.
Here are photos from this past weekend.
Laying someone off: It doesn\’t get easier
I decided to lay off one of my employees this morning. I came to my decision late yesterday and I thought about it all last night and this morning on the way into work. The task of letting someone go never seems to get easier. This morning’s meeting was especially hard because it wasn’t that I was having to let this person go because of poor performance or that this person was a liability. It was because I just didn’t see a fit and the position this person was filling isn’t needed right now.
The company operates in an intimate setting. It’s hard to find the right time to pull someone aside for a private conversation. In hindsight I should have walked in first thing this morning, kicked everyone else out, let the person go and then go about the day. Instead I came in and allowed myself to get distracted. During that time a couple of my staffers went on their break so the break room was unavailable. This extra time allowed my concious to continue to do a number on me.
Like ripping off a Band-aid or chewing off your own arm that’s been caught in a combine, I did what had to be done. It’s a hard thing to do, especially when it’s good for the company but not for the person losing his or her job. I chose the firm but compassionate route which ended the converation is one of those “And, well, that’s it. I appreciate what you’ve done for us here and wish you all the best.”
I keep thinking that one day I’ll have really bad hair and will be able to slap my palm on the board room table, point my index finger like a gun and say, “You’re fired!” I’ll have a blonde lady sitting next to me who may say something like, “That was the right decision.” And there will be an old guy sitting to my other side who may say something like, “There was really no other choice.”
Sometimes there really is no other choice but making that decision and doing the deed is never easy.
Smoked salmon with tomatillo ancho butter
Southwest seasoned mesquite smoked salmon filets with a tomatillo ancho butter topped with smoked mustard seeds and green peppercorns and french fried sweet potatoes.
Southwest fish & chips