Author: Josh

I met Rosie and Laurie at the bone & tissue center this morning. First Rosie drew a vile of blood. This vile will be compared to another vile taken on day 5 to make sure my stem cell count has increased to whatever it is that it needs to be. Rosie is, by far, the best vein-finding needle sticker I’ve ever had. I honestly could not feel the jab, and I’ve been jabbed many, many times over the years.

Laurie, who works at the Austin Cancer Center gave me the two Neupogen injections after a quick medical work-up. I learned that they can’t give over 1 cc in one shot, hence the two injections. Both of them right into my tricep – where I’m aching the most these days.

We sat there and chatted for 10 minutes or so. They needed to observe me to make sure I didn’t have an allergic reaction to the Neupogen. I was reminded, and had explained to me in normal folk terms, why I was donating stem cells instead of bone marrow. Peripheral blood stem cells are “blank” cells. They’re really nothing until they’re needed. They can become red cells, white cells or platelets whenever the body tells itself to create more. The patient’s bone marrow has been in the process of being wiped out with chemotherapy and radiation since last Wednesday. My stem cells will be be transplanted to him next Thursday and will (hopefully) form into all of the healthy blood cells that he needs to survive and to rebuild his bone marrow.

Since he and I have identical DNA (kind of scary), this should and hopefully will work. A couple of things that we are concerned about is graft-versus-host disease. This disease occurs when the patient’s body recognizes the foreign cells from a transplant and rejects them. Also, since his marrow is being killed off, he has no way of fighting infections and his blood won’t clot should he get cut.

Neupogen injections every day at 1 p.m. until Wednesday. Thursday is the harvest!

It pains me to write this. Not because what I’m writing is difficult to get out, it’s that my arms are friggin’ Jell-O right now. I just finished Week 4 of the One Hundred Push Ups Training Program by doing 105 push ups. Not all in a row, but that’s the goal.

Approximately two months ago I decided to start doing push ups when I got out of bed in the morning. No real goal, just 10, maybe 20 push ups every morning. A couple weeks after I started my regiment, I came across hundredpushups.com in my RSS aggregator. Seemed like perfect timing so I started out with the initial test. Since I’d already been doing push ups for a couple weeks, I was able to crank out 20 push ups, which put me on the “higher end” of the program.

The program has you do five sets of push ups. You start high, come down a little in the number of push ups in the following sets, then, on the fifth set, you try to do as many as you can (with a recommended goal number). At the fifth set, my arms are quivering pieces of linguine. I’ve adopted the recommended Monday, Wednesday, Friday schedule, allowing a day in between for rest and recuperation.

Here’s what I’ve done thus far:

Week #1
June 23
10
10
8
6
10
Total: 44

June 25
12
12
10
10
10
Total: 54

June 27
15
13
10
10
15
Total: 63

Week #2
June 30
12
12
9
7
20
Total: 60

July 2
16
13
11
11
20
Total: 71

July 4
15
15
12
12
24
Total: 78

Week #3
July 7
26
17
17
15
25
Total: 100

Week #3 was a kick in the ass. I could barely eek out the sets above, although I did do 100 push ups total, albeit not in a row, but I was pretty proud of having done 100 push ups. The only problem was that they weren’t all “good-form” push ups; meaning my back hurt when I was done, which meant I was doing something wrong, and probably more harm than good.

So I decided to move myself a level down in the program. There are, what I’ll call, 3 levels. Level 1 for people who have very minimal upper body/tricep strength. Level 2 for intermediate. Level 3 for meat heads. I demoted myself to Level 2.

July 9
22
17
17
15
30
Total: 101

The above was difficult, but I managed to do all good-form push ups while staying focused on my breathing. Feelin’ the burn!

July 11
25
19
19
17
25+10
Total: 115

Week #4
Because of the bad news we’d received at our first OB appointment, I couldn’t muster doing push ups on either day 1 or 2 of week 4. So by Thursday, when I was feeling a little better, I had to double up if I was going to stay on track. That was brutal…

July 17 morning
22
16
16
14
26
Total: 94

July 17 evening
22
17
17
15
23
Total: 94

Yesterday morning I seriously could not use my arms to get out of the bed in the morning after having done 188 push ups the day before. I probably should have hydrated myself more and snorted some whey protein powder.

July 19
25
19
19
17
25
Total: 105

979 push ups since June 23. I think I’ll do 21 more at some point today to make it an even 1,000.

After four weeks of doing this program, I can definitely tell there is an improvement in my upper body strength. I don’t think there’s much of an outward physical difference, but I feel the difference and improvement when I lift up the cars and break oak trees in half. It’s just so much easier to do those kinds of things now.

When the doctor said, “Well… this is what I’m seeing”, I knew something was not okay.

Elise, Maly and I went to our first obstetrician appointment yesterday. It had been a little over two months since finding out that we were pregnant. Seeing how Elise is in good health and our first pregnancy yielded a happy, healthy Maly, we figured this would be true with this pregnancy.

The doctor went on to show us the yolk sack, and then she measured the embryo. It was then when told us that it looks like it stopped developing at 6 weeks. Elise was 9 weeks pregnant. The way we both heard it was in layperson’s terms: our second baby died.

Elise immediately fell to tears. I was holding Maly in my right arm and I could feel her aura transform into fear and confusion as she witnessed a machine that was being used on her mother by the doctor, and ultimately caused sadness and crying. My heart sank and a lump formed in my throat. Nothing hurts me more than seeing my wife hurting. And the fact that I’d just learned that what would have been our second child didn’t make it.

We were both in shock. I don’t think the thought had crossed our minds that we would receive bad news from this appointment. I remember talking and laughing on the way to the doctor’s office. We were listening to Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley in the car. I remember smiles from each other in the waiting room. It was a fun and exciting time for us. It was meant to be the confirmation of the conception and the setting of the next appointment and ultrasound. It wasn’t supposed to be an appointment to talk about a miscarriage or worse, the possibility of a D&C.

Our doctor wants us to come back in two weeks for another ultrasound to check for potential growth. I guess this means that maybe the doctor could be wrong. In the meantime, Elise has been searching the web for answers. She has found a couple forums where women have been told that their baby stopped developing, only to later find out that the baby was, in fact, still developing – essentially a false positive. This was the case involving a tilted uterus, which Elise also has, and what I will be naming my next band. And I will probably rot in hell for even trying to make light of this subject.

So there is hope. I have come to terms with the notion that this pregnancy may have ended. I also have hope and am inspired by my beautiful bride’s hope. I am also frustrated, probably not as much as Elise, in the unknowing. I’m frustrated that I can’t absorb the pain of a potential miscarriage or a D&C. If I could, I would do it in a heartbeat. But I can’t and that’s part of what’s frustrating. So now it’s a waiting game. We wait two weeks for our next appointment or we wait for a miscarriage.

I know Elise is emotionally drained. And I know it’s been hard as she’s been suffering from fatigue and morning sickness over the past few weeks. These were signs that we thought indicated a healthy pregnancy.

So, life has been pretty rough this week so far. My girls and I are doing okay. We have each other, and that’s what matters most to us.

[flv width=”500″ height=”375″]http://www.janicek.com/video/20080709_Plasmacar.flv[/flv]

I called my contact over at Texell on Friday after lunch, hoping for an update on this car that was purchased in my name. She had just gotten the whole ordeal figured out just prior to my call. Since I was once a member of this credit union, they still had all of my information in their database. A loan for a car was funded for someone who has a name similar to mine, so when the account was being created, text boxes in their software were pre-populated with all of my information.

So it’s been fixed on the banks end, and I’m not concerned about identity theft. However, now we have to clear this up with the three credit bureaus and make sure that we get this purchase off of my credit report.

I received a letter in the mail yesterday from Texell, a credit union that we were once members of when we lived in Temple while I was working at Scott & White. This was a welcome letter, indicating that our new savings account had been activated and inviting me to come into a branch office to open our checking account.

Seeing how we were once members of Texell, I figured this was just a simple error. Wrong. I called Texell this morning to find out that a 2008 Dodge Avenger has been purchased in my name, with my social security number, date of birth and drivers license.

So today is Protect Josh’s Identity Day!

I left the house at 7 p.m. last night and headed south on 35. I got to San Antonio around 9 p.m. and Claudine (yes, I’ve named my GPS) told me how to get to my hotel. Adrian drove over shortly after I’d gotten my room key, put my things away and chatted on the phone with Elise. Adrian and I chatted for a bit, then went to the bar where he bought us a round of Jack & Cokes. Then we went back to the room and stayed up talking until 1 a.m. Adrian left, I hit the hay.

This morning I got up, showered, dressed and went to the hotel lobby for breakfast and to meet Olga, my marrow donor coordinator. She told me all about the donation process, and the new National Marrow Donor Program Research Sample Repository, which is a study where they will take stem cell samples from both me (donor) and the patient. Our samples will be available to researchers for future research designed to make stem cell transplantation more successful for future recipients.

I learned that I’m not donating, nor does the patient need, bone marrow. I am donating peripheral blood stem cells (PBSC) because this will allow me to donate blood-forming cells, platelets and some white blood cells, which, if I remember what Olga told me correctly, is more than they could harvest in marrow alone. The process requires that I get shots of filgrastim for 5 days to increase the amount of stem cells into bloodstream from my marrow.

The process itself is relatively easy. I sit in a chair for 6 hours with needles in both arms. An apheresis machine collects blood forming cells, white cells and platelets and then returns my red red kroovy right back to me. Around that same time, the patient will be undergoing radiation and chemotherapy to kill all of his existing marrow. I don’t know the specifics, but there is a very short amount of time that my stem cells have to be transplanted. It’s so amazing, and hard to wrap my brain around the fact a team is going to be rushing my stem cells from my location at Methodist Hospital to the patient’s location (wherever that may be). Truly amazing!

So, that’s what is more than likely going to happen on July 9th. After breakfast this morning with Olga, we drove over the Methodist Hospital and went straight up to the oncology ward. There I was given a complete personal and family medical history workup, a physical, more blood work and a urinalysis. The nurse practitioner, the doctor and all of the nurses, as well as Olga kept telling me, “thank you so much for doing this”. This was an absolute no-brainer decision for me, and I told them as much.

I have to admit, being in the oncology ward this morning was extremely difficult. I’m a strong, grown man and I cried twice while I was there. I can’t really put into words the suffering and strength that I witnessed this morning as I sat there and watch patients come in and leave. All of the art work in the department was created by cancer patients.

This whole experience has been very emotional and close to me since day one. Today was the kicker, the occasion that said, “Yes, we’re doing this thing! We’re going to help this guy get well!” So it was a very powerful ordeal for me.

So, after oncology, we went to cardiology where they did an EKG. Everything checked out okay. After cardiology we went down to radiology where they did X-rays of my chest. My doctor’s yet to check my EKG, chest films, urinalysis, get the results of my blood work, etc. etc. Everything should check out, I’ll know something on Friday, we’ll schedule my neupogen injections and the donation of the PBSCs.

We wrapped up around 2 p.m. I gave my new buddy Olga a hug and thanked her for walking me through everything today. I swear I had to sign a million releases and consents today. It was worse than the paperwork signed when we closed on our house.

I’m unbelievably excited and so thankful that I’ve been blessed with this opportunity to help this guy out. It’s a feeling that just can’t be put into words.

If you haven’t already, please, please, please become a marrow donor. This opportunity has changed my life. It’s put everything into perspective for me and it could do the same for you. Above all, I really hope it changes this 43-year-old man’s life by curing him of Myelodysplastic Syndrome. That’s the only reason I’m doing this and I’m very honored to have this chance.

Elise and Maly left for vacation at 6 a.m. on Saturday morning. I’ve been a bachelor ever since. Saturday consisted of watering the lawn (and it rained 3 hours later), then buying, cutting, staining and installing new slats for our heirloom lawn chairs.

The one on the left is the “new” one.

I spent the rest of the afternoon working on The Ultimate Bacon Sundae (TUBS):

It has been created… homemade cinnamon, coffee and candied bacon vanilla ice cream, bacon cups and chocolate covered bacon, I’m just waiting on neighbor folk to come over to be my lab rats! I can tell you this: Cinnamon, coffee and candied bacon ice cream is the best ice cream I’ve tested to date. Seriously.

Today consisted of waking up early and washing the car. After that, I parked my butt on the couch and watch Batman Begins in HD that I rented from the iTunes music store via the AppleTV. I can’t believe I didn’t see that movie sooner. Because I only had 24 hours to watch it, I watched it this morning again, too. Awesome movie.

For the rest of the day, I guarded the couch and TV. I watched MXC and UFC. Late in the afternoon I decided to make my special super-spicy beef jerky. I decided to dehydrate the jerky in a new spot — the guest bathroom. This new location seemed to isolate the smokiness, but also managed to melt a candle in said bathroom, which has since rendered some aromatic and therapeutic jerky. Nothing says “home” more than boysenberry, cayenne pepper and melted fat.

Therapeutic Jerky would be a really cool name for a band.

Matt Harding has a pretty kick ass job. He travels the globe, does his dance, and Stride Gum picks up the tab. The videos themselves are inspiring. They make me want to escape the daily grind, escape the “bubble” and experience our world. And dance badly, which I’m very good at.

Here’s his 2008 video:

Where the Hell is Matt? (2008) from Matthew Harding on Vimeo.

With the help of my friend, Rob, and the fact that my wife and daughter are going to be out of town for almost two weeks starting tomorrow, I have decided to indulge in the creation of The Ultimate Bacon Sundae (or “TUBS” for short):

Candied bacon ice cream, topped with chocolate-covered bacon and served in a bacon cup.

This is what my Ultimate Bacon Sundae ended up looking like:

I found out at 4 p.m. today that I’m a bone marrow match for the 43-year-old male who has Myelodysplastic Syndrome.

I’m a match. I’M A MATCH!!!

Three months ago I was told that I had a 1/200 chance of being a match. I’m that match.

I can’t put into words what that means to me. I don’t care what they have to do to me, they can saw my leg off and scoop my marrow out with a grapefruit spoon, I just hope and pray that it works for him.

Today was a good day for me. Was it a good one for you? Think about ways that you can give back. Just make sure you reconsider connecting lost cell phones with their rightful owner.

Elise went to her Mothers of Ministry Sharing (MOMS) group at her church tonight. It was just Maly and me. After dinner we went for a quick walk down the street, then back to the house to just hang out on the driveway, sitting in our lawn chairs and watching Ray water his lawn across the street.

I could tell Maly was getting tired, so we came into the house and I gave her a bath. After her bath, I took her into our room where I put a diaper on her and put her pajamas on. She sat up and looked at me blankly. I asked, “Okay, what do you want to do now? Do you want to read a book or go rock-rock?”

She looked at me with excited eyes and asked, “Lakers?!”

To which I unfortunately had to respond, “No, Sugar. The Lakers lost the series last night. No more Lakers games.”

Damn Celtics.