Buy ya a shot of mouthwash?

In an effort to revitalize with content other than monthly newsletters to Maly, I’m going to address a topic that I’m sure has had the rest of the western world standing around, scratching their heads.

Bathroom products. I’m a fairly simple guy when it comes to items that are considered “mine”. I have a toothbrush, deodorant, a razor, shaving cream, aftershave, cologne that I never wear and some headache medicine. Oh yeah, and a ear/nose hair trimmer. How could I forget that when practically I have to use the damn thing twice a day now. I don’t even have my own comb. I use Elise’s hair brush when I’m in a good enough mood to actually convince myself that I have enough hair that warrants brushing.

There are also the obvious community bathroom products: soap, shampoo, toilet paper, Q-tips, tissue, pads, hammer drill and the compressed helium tank.

What I don’t get it all the stuff that Elise has. I couldn’t begin to tell you what a tenth of that stuff is. Albeit she’s considerate enough to keep her things on her side of the vanity, but it would be awesome if there was a way that all of that stuff could be consolidated, concealed or stored so there would be more space on the bathroom counter for things that could be used more frequently. Like an air hockey table.

3 Replies to “Buy ya a shot of mouthwash?”

  1. It’s all stuff to make me look 10 years younger, diminish wrinkles, moisturize, protect from harmful UV rays, make me look tan, remove blemishes, cover up blemishes, diminish scars from blemishes, smooth out cellulite, straighten my hair, curl my hair, give my hair more volume, hold my hair in place, soften my skin, make me smell good….at least that’s what the advertisements tell me they do.

  2. All you need for the aforementioned is Vicks Vap-O-Rub, some duct tape and good ol’ elbow grease.

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