Have I mentioned my distaste for Dell lately? I will not buy from Dell only because of the people that Dell puts behind the phones. I know quite a few people that sell for Dell. They’re all great people. They also speak English.
In Dell’s favor I must admit, from my experience, they sell great computer hardware and have a rabid accounts receivable department that I would love to have in my own office. If my company is fifteen seconds late on paying a bill, Dell’s Bangalore call center is ringing my phone off the hook.
Today I was told that the company owed “One hooondud eety debben doolah and deen zints”. Yes, if you read that aloud, you heard correctly. Try it again. Repeat it a few times. I’ll wait.
Still can’t get it? Don’t feel bad, I couldn’t either. After a tense exchange, I was able to determine that I owed one hundred eighty seven dollars and some change.
Josh: “Okay, so I own one hundred eighty seven dollars and ten cents?”
Dell: “No. Deen.”
(What the hell else sounds like ‘deen’? Six? No. Nothing.)
Josh: “Ten?… one, zero?”
Dell: “No, deen… one, debben.”
Ahhhh… yes, sounds exactly like seventeen.
The rest of the call was equally painstaking. So I paid off our outstanding balance. I think. That or I ordered the tandori chicken.