Elise is officially, as they say in the world of obstetrics, full term.  That means that she is 37 weeks pregnant and our child could be born healthy, minus a few ounces, at any moment.  Any time except during The Apprentice.
It’s scary that 37 weeks has passed in the blink of an eye.  It’s scary [...]

Continue reading " Full term "

“Shakira is HOT!”

Continue reading " Reason I’m glad I married my wife: #451 "

Every Thursday in March from 6:30 p.m. to 9:30 p.m. we have been belted down in straight jackets and our eyes pried open with levers and pulleys in a classroom at the hospital to watch videos of placenta delivery and a husband (aka “Birth Partner”) in a horrid blue dress shirt with a white collar [...]

Continue reading " Vaginyl spectrum "

Continue reading " And they will know me by the sound of my YeeeeEEEEE-OOOOWWWWW "

Elise and I have begun nesting. We haven’t verbally acknowledged this to one another, but I’ve seen it setting in.
I’ve tested all of the smoke and carbon monoxide alarms throughout the house. I’ve refinished the Zombie Eater’s dresser and attached the refinished mirror that I personally shopped. Yesterday I bought a 110 [...]

Continue reading " Nesting: Guts ‘n’ bones "

Our baby’s due date is a month from today.  I know this because I looked at the calendar this morning.  I am a human who is fully capable of aggregating and analyzing complex data from a wall calendar and am also capable of sticking a booger in my eye.
April 21st.  This date marks the 170th [...]

Continue reading " A month out "

I jumped out of an airplane on Saturday evening. Since then I’ve found it very hard to think of anything other than jumping out of airplanes. Oh yeah, and a baby due in a month. But back to jumping out of airplanes…
Since then I’ve been checking out websites, photos, videos and have [...]

Continue reading " “Is this your new hobby?” "

I think if you ask most people who know me they’d agree I’m pretty attentive to detail. However, pregnancy has done a number on my mind. I’ll boil water to make tea and then forget to pour the water into the tea pot. The other night John and Christine came over for dinner and I [...]

Continue reading " 4-Wheeling Riley "

Watch Josh skydive and smile like you’ve never seen him smile!
Mom always told me I was an “air sign”.
On Saturday afternoon I was thrusted out of an airplane while traveling at 120mph and at 10,500 ft. and it was THE MOST AMAZING EXPERIENCE EVER!!!
Two days later and I still can’t put the experience and my [...]

Continue reading " High speed dirt "

Today we went to the Sam’s Club after work because Donald Trump says it’s THE BEST place to shop. He shops there. He says it’s a great place for small business owners to purchase consumables and we really needed either 1) Tommy Bahama XXXL factory rejected shirts or 2) a new battery for [...]

Continue reading " Pillowy Uterus for Members Only "