Yesterday morning I got an email from my boss stating that the company that is buying the company I’ve ran for the past three years will not be needing my services in any form after this Friday. I thought I was positioned to help in the transition and have at least another month of employment.
As soon as I finished reading that email I started breathing like Tony Soprano (the fictional Mafioso character, not my fish), my stomach knotted and my heart began beating faster than normal.
I was furious all day yesterday. I half-assed worked out at Tae Kwon Do last night. After a long day I came home and started my bedtime ritual with Maly. I bathed her and put a clean diaper on her. During this time Elise and I were “discussing” my current situation, mood, and plans for the future. It was at the point when I was dressing Maly in her pajamas where I found it necessary to reach my penultimate, volatile point in my self-absorbed malevolence. I yelled at Elise and used obscenities that not only should a five-month-old not hear, but also not a 31-year-old wife.
Elise understood my frustration and played the role of my unintentional, verbal punching bag. I calmed down and we talked more. I fell asleep peacefully last night after being calmed down.
I woke up and went to work today. It was late in the morning when I found solace again. I stopped whatever it was that I was doing and realized that we’ll be okay. So, I’m losing my job. I won’t lose my relationship with my wife or my daughter or any of my family or friends. I won’t lose my house. I will have lost my 1 GB thumb drive that had my resume and coverletter on it because it will have fallen out of my front left pocket somewhere during the Labor Day weekend. We will be okay. I came to terms with that today. I’ve been overly exacerbated because of losing my job and having been the provider for five months. But late this morning a glowing, pillowy goo of goodness and serenity engulfed me and pulsed a bright white light as if to say, “Take all the time you need. Things will be fine. No worries. You will prosper beyond anything you’ve ever imagined. SHIT! The cops!!! Put that away and roll down the windows. Nevermind.”
Things are going to be okay for us.
My two hourly employees called me at home tonight within half an hour of each other to tell me that they’re both quitting. I encouraged them both to stay and ride out the next two days. That’s they’re decision to make.
I don’t know about everyone else, but mine are going to be okay.