Locked, cocked and ready to rock

I went with Elise to her regularly scheduled OB appointment this morning.  Everything is perfect except for a bit of information that still has me thinking, “Oh shit!”

Elise is 2 cm dilated and 80% effaced.  Ordinarily my manly instincts would think that 2 cm dilated and 80% effaced are the proper control settings used to launch a torpedo from a submarine.  However, in our situtation 80% effaced means that Elise’s cervix is softening and flattening in preparation for labor.  Once it’s at 100%, well, you can probably guess.

2 cm is the diameter in which the cervix begins to open to allow for birth.  The cervix widens to 10 cm at the time of delivery.  ELISE IS NOT IN LABOR YET.  Her body is just preparing for labor.  The doctor said that if she starts having contractions to “contract away.”

I’m as excited now as I was the first time I heard the baby’s heart beat.  I’m almost as excited as when Britney and Madonna kissed at the MTV Video Music Awards three years ago.  I wasn’t prepared for the information we received this morning.  I didn’t think her cervix would start doing things until much closer to the due date.  My Couvade Syndrome kicked in upon hearing the news and my cervix has been going nuts.  I called the cat from the truck this morning and told him the news.  He said his cervix was doing backflips.  It’s a cervixapalooza.

Cervixes aside, we met the labor and delivery charge nurse at the hospital last night.  We were given a tour of the L&D ward and shown the little circumcision device at Elise’s request.  I don’t know why because we think we’re having a girl.  The nurses were great and we have full confidence in the staff to help Elise through labor.

Tonight we’re going to the hospital to meet the staff pediatricians.  Yesterday we installed the car seat in the truck.

If I can learn to refrain from using vulgarities as every other word in a sentence and keep from kicking members of the family that are shorter than 3-feet tall, we might just have a happy, healthy family.

5 Replies to “Locked, cocked and ready to rock”

  1. Wow, I’m getting excited. I think I just had a contraction … or the elastic on my underwear just busted.

    I found a book at Sparks the other day that I thought would be perfect for you. It was titled something along the lines of “How to Trick, Con, and Bribe Your Kid to Do Anything.”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *