The Austin American-Statesman is urging folks to blog about long lines at the grocery store or being stuck in traffic due to the imminent damage that hurricane Rita is to bestow upon Texas in the days to come.
I will be here to keep you folks in foreign regions such as “Minneapolis” and “Des Moines” up-to-date on armageddon. I will make sure Janicek.com stays online because 1) I pay a company large sums of money to make sure it stays online and 2) said company is located in Los Angeles, not in the path of Rita, according CNN.
Hurricane Rita is a Category 5 storm system with 165 mph winds headed toward the eastern coast of Texas.
“Rita is currently the third strongest hurricane ever in the Atlantic and could be the strongest hurricane on record to ever hit Texas” as posted on Local6.com.
Those fleeing Houston have been reported to be sitting in bumper to bumper traffic for over 13 hours. Water and rations are scarce. Hotels and motels are full throughout the state all the way up through Amarillo.
Traffic on the way to work this morning via HWY 71 was hell. I saw caravans of evacuees pulled over on the side of the road to regroup. All gas stations pumps were occupied by lines of cars. Traffic is terrible even here in Marble Falls. My office manager just returned from getting office supplies from Wal Mart and came back boasting not to go anywhere if it’s not necessary.
As of this morning Rita shifted slightly east so it’s looking as if Austin isn’t in storm’s direct line of sight. We’re expecting to see a lot of rain and 40 mph wind gusts in the days to come.
Tonight I am going to dig a fox hole under the house. I will need to stop at Home Depot on the way home for supplies. I will protect myself from frantic end seekers with my trusty Bowie knife. Damnit, I need to get a Bowie knife. I will rent a jackhammer to dig my fox hole. I will also get a 150 gallon deisel generator to power my iBook so I can safely post to the website without the threat of losing power. If we do lose power at any point and wireless internet access is lost, I will resort to looting. Looting WiFi would be a good name for a band. I’ll also need to get some war paint and a loin cloth.
So keep an eye out for me on TV. I’ll be the pale guy with war paint on his face a la Braveheart wearing a loin cloth while holding a laptop, dragging a diesel generator and a Bowie knife gripped between his teeth.