I walked out onto the deck early this morning and stared blankly at nothing. I came to the conclusion that I’m depressed. I can attribute a lot of this to the flurry of activities over the past few weeks. My parents have been up to visit a lot. I’ve been able to spend time with my brother, who I haven’t seen in years. When company leaves, I get bummed.
Elise has been busy at work so I don’t see her which adds to my stress. I’ve been working on the deck for the past ten days so other daily chores have been put on the back burner. The house looks like shit, things that need to get done at home and at work and I need a haircut.
Yesterday would not end. It felt like I was at the office for a bazillion hours. When I was sure that a few hours had passed, only minutes had passed. It was a stereotypical Monday. I was clockwatching, waiting to go home to eat leftover ribs, flop down on the couch and watch Hell’s Kitchen. That’s all I wanted out of June 20th.
The end of the work day came as fast as slug on his way to the dentist for a root canal. Speaking of: Invertebrate Endodondistry would be a great name for a band.
I hopped into my truck and headed home. On my way home I thought, “Damn, my truck looks like shit.” I haven’t washed it in over a month. There was dirt all over the place, it smelled and the outside was filthy. I got home, changed clothes and washed and dried my truck. I looked at the yard and thought, “Damn, my yard looks like shit.” I mowed. I ran inside to see if I had any time left before Hell’s Kitchen came on. 14-minutes. I ran back outside, edged, blowed the cut grass off of the driveway and sidewalk and turned on the sprinkler.
Two minutes to spare. I threw a plate of ribs in the microwave and watched my show.
Somewhere between “My truck looks like shit” and “My yard looks like shit” I took my shitty attitute to the shitty phone and called my pretty wife.
“Why don’t you come home and help me with the shitty shit that needs to be done around the shittin’ house?!?!”
“Why don’t you take your asshole attitude and go eat a decroded peice of crap?”
(She didn’t really say that, buy my attitude warranted a response like that)
I’ve always loved Summer. I love it in Texas when it’s 100+ degrees outside. Usually because we get together with friends and do things outside and in water. Usually we’ll go boating or tubing or hang out on a breezy patio near the water or just in someone’s backyard.
It’s the first day of Summer today and I’m not feeling it. On Sunday Elise and I agreed that we have no idea what happened to May and June. The past two months just flew by like a cheetah on his way to prime rib night at the local brothel. Make up your own band name.
My job is really bumming me out too. It’s not so much the job as it is the commute. I wake up and immediately start dreading the long drive. Once I start driving, I get into my zone. Then I start thinking about what new issue will be waiting for me once I walk into the office. The day eventually comes to an end. And then there’s the commute home. If I look at the glass half full, I could say that driving an hour is better than sitting in traffic for an hour.
I hate being in a rut. Shitty rut.