More often than not, I’m associated with worldy scholars and philosophers. I have developed software to help locate unmapped stars in the universe. I compiled complex formulas to help in finding a cure for adolescent hypertension. I’ve sat on boards and contributed to numerous discussions regarding architectural developments to renovate a series of museums in Indonesia and Lubbock.
I’ve accomplished many things in my life so far. I’m also lucky because I still consider myself young. Part of being young entails not only being studious and well known in the world of academia, but also maintaining my cool. That can be pretty hard for your humble narrator.
Part of being cool is driving a 1993 Toyota pickup truck that weighs approximately 164 lbs. dry. In this truck I have a tape deck and a couple 6′ x 9’s tucked in the back that can hammer out some mad Phil Collins tunes.
I was driving home from Tae Kwon Do tonight (keep in mind, I’m a brilliant genious mastermind renowned scholar). I had, what we call in the halls of the university and the realm of advanced thought, a breath inhibiting booger. I’m a scholar so I know that everyone has had at least one of those boogers that keeps you from breathing correctly from one nostril.
After hypothesizing for a moment, I did what not only the layperson would do, but also us geniuses – I dug into my nasal orifice to remove said booger. Keep in mind that I was still quite sweaty from TKD class. Now that Fall has set in, it was also dark outside. I knew said booger had been removed because I could breathe equally through both nostrils. You know that feeling – pure relief.
A minute or so later, my eye started itching. Keep in mind, I am very, very, very smart. I am respected. I am consulted, on a regular basis by doctors, physicians, Ph.D.’s M.D.’s, doctors and those who practice medicine.
I went to scratch my itch and stuck that booger right in my eye. That hurt.