Author: Josh

This morning, while Elise was still sleeping and I was in the shower, Maly came into our bathroom and asked, “Daddy, can I play with your phone?”, which was connected to my laptop on the coffee table.

“No.” I gave no explanation, just a “no”.

I got out of the shower, dried off and walked into the living room to find Maly playing with “her” iPod Touch. “Her” iPod is usually not charged. She’d gone into Elise’s purse, retrieved the iPod, walked over to my computer, unhooked my phone and plugged in “her” iPod to charge while she played her little Disney princess game on it. I knew this was going to be a fun and interesting conversation.

“Hey! I thought I said you couldn’t play with my phone.”

“It’s not your phone, Daddy. It’s MY iPod.”

And she was absolutely right. I should have done a better job as a parent and explained why I’d said no earlier.

They say 3- and 4-year-olds are “liars and lawyers”. This ride gets more exciting every day!

Seven years ago I worked in the marketing department at Scott & White Memorial Hospital in Temple, TX. Every eight or ten weeks I would donate blood right there at the hospital. I became a regular blood donor. One day during a routing donation, my friend and blood donor coordinator, Mindi, asked me if I wanted to join the National Marrow Donor Program. I was interested in learning more, so she informed me that they could take an additional vile of blood for testing, and keep this information in a national registry. If a patient anywhere in the U.S. was in need of bone marrow and his or her type matched mine, I would be notified to be tested to see if I was a match.

Fast forward to February of 2008. I got the call. I was a potential match for a 43-year-old man who suffers from Myelodysplastic Syndrome. Without thought or hesitation, I signed up. Test me, poke me, prod me. Do whatever. I want to help.

On February 12, 2008, I sent in my health history questionnaire to the Scott & White Center for Cancer Prevention & Care.

On March 19, 2008, I went to the The Blood and Tissue Center of Central Texas to have 6 viles of blood drawn and to test my antigens.

On June 18, 2008, after having been told that I had a 1/200 chance of being a match, I found out that I was that match.

On June 25, 2008, I drove to San Antonio for my physical exam for Peripheral Blood Stem Cell donation.

A month later, I began my series of five Neupogen injections to put my bone marrow into overdrive in time for the donation. I thought my bones were going to explode because of the pressure that had built up within them.

I went on a pain management strike. I knew that what he was having to cope with was exponentially more difficult than what I was having to cope with.

On July 24, 2008, I did everything that I could to help.

Today at 4:57 p.m., I received a call from Olga, my marrow donor coordinator. She told me that as of the last report that was received on August 19th, “the patient has been doing great and is in remission.”

The patient is doing great and is in remission. Hearing that brought tears to my eyes and it does again as I type this now. I was blessed with this opportunity to help another human and I absolutely cannot put into words how thankful I am to have had this chance to help.

Please, become a marrow donor.

First day of school last year:

First day of school this year:

Charmin, you hear that?! Your customers need SOFT toilet paper. Call me if you need a new spokesperson.

(Click image to play video)

This year for Maly’s 3rd birthday we bought her a dollhouse. She LOVES her dollhouse. Every day she asks her mom or me if we want to play with her dollhouse with her. It’s not that we don’t want to, it’s that we’re 30-somethings and we have bigger and better things to do. So we think, and we lie and rationalize with ourselves into thinking we’ve too many other important things to do. I always reach deep into my heart and remember those few days where there was total silence in the house, and how those days will be all too often in the not-to-distant future. If I’m in the worst of moods or have so much on my mind at the moment that the last thing that I have time to do is play with my daughter, I remind myself that there is nothing more important than being there for my family.

So, to genuinely play with my daughter and a dollhouse, I have to harness the child within and be sensitive to the fact that I have a girly-girl of a daughter who really wants to play with her dolls as dolls, not ninjas, soldiers or cyborgs from the future. I have resolved to the fact that I can play and engage in the masculine form. Maly has grown accustom and always hands me my “doll”, Mike I’m Married.

When we bought the dollhouse, it came with a few things like a table, chairs, high chairs for the kids, a swing, picnic table, grill and a slide. It also included a nuclear family; a clean-cut daddy, a loving mom, and two adorable twins, a boy and a girl. If I was going to have to play with dollhouse, it was quickly known that I would play the part of the dad. And I would barbecue with the included grill. I would use that grill a lot.

My character’s name was quickly christened “Mike”. After a few minutes of playing with Maly and her dollhouse the first time, I noticed Mike had a little wedding ring painted on his left hand. As play continued and we introduced a few Barbie dolls and other toys, Mike would introduce himself to whomever Maly was playing with as “Hi, I’m Mike, I’m married.” Which soon just became Mike’s name, Mike I’m Married. He still goes by just Mike in short form. In order to maintain Mike’s utmost manliness, I quickly created a short theme song (think Budweiser jingle/rock ‘n’ roll anthem sung in a raspy rocker voice):

“Mike I’m Married, I married Erica!
Mike I’m Married, I love America!”

So Mike I’m Married and his family have a pretty standard life. They also have quite an extended family and friends. Without going into much greater detail, here is an introduction to Mike’s family and friends:

(Click photo to enlarge)

Starting at the top:
Lolly & Toony: They’re a couple mermaids that come by to play. They usually stay up on the top floor. They’re good people.
The Lemon Monster: He swings by and steals things and hides them. He has a high-pitched, sing-songy voice. He often frustrates Maly. I use him to help Maly understand that there are often people in society that will be frustrating and do wrong things. I try to teach her how to understand, cope and rationalize with these frustrating people.
Charlie and Emi Elizabeth: They’re a couple teenage girls that just kind of hang out, listen to music on their headphones by the lamp upstairs and play with the animals. They’re good folk as well and keep things tidy around the house and yard.
Tricky: It (haven’t determined sex yet) is the family canine. It barks a lot. Maly likes to play the part of Tricky quite often. Tricky has a litter of pups. The pups’ names change frequently.
Chip: Chip to me is just a worthless sack of shit. I don’t tell this to Maly, but dammit, Chip needs to get his lazy ass up and get a job. Or mow the yard. Something. Anything. He pretty much takes up the entire second floor of the house and doesn’t do a damn thing. He’s ALWAYS sleeping. That boy just ain’t right.
Barbara: She’s a Barbie from the old school. She wears a dress that Elise’s grandma made for her. She’s pretty conservative, likes to cook, dance and brush her hair. She’s an honest and humble homemaker. She’s extended family, I’m still not sure of origin.
Mary Ann: I sing or whistle Alice Cooper’s “Mary Ann” every time she makes an entrance. Elegant, beautiful, debonair, classy, LOVES to dance and garner compliments. She is a girly-girl. She is the daughter of Barbara. She was the present that Elise and I bought for Maly after she successfully pooped in the potty.
Erica: Mike I’m Married’s wife. Mike loves her to death, even though she has really bad hair. She’s a stay-at-home wife and keeps up the house and kids.
Ted: Mike and Erica’s son. He likes to swing and eat Slim Jims.
Lilly: Mike and Erica’s daughter. She kind of clingy and whiny. She likes to eat pizza and ride on the slide.
Mike I’m Married: The man of the estate. Mike drives downtown on his propane grill to his job in an office where he does a lot of emailing and is stressed a lot. He loves his family more than anything… Even Chip. And the dog.

UPDATE: I showed Maly the diagram of her family today and she was excited to see that everyone was documented. She even included a little commentary about Chip.

I’m sitting at the bar in my brother-in-law, Ron and sister, Lisa’s backyard, enjoying my final evening in gorgeous La Jolla. I love the climate in southern California, but it will take some serious convincing to ever get Elise to move out here. The week has blow by so quickly (what vacation doesn’t?!), but we’ve had a total blast, as we always do whenever we come out here to spend time with family.

The primary reason for coming to California was for Ron and Lisa’s wedding; and I’ll get to that soon. I want to try to recap everything we’ve done since we’ve been here, otherwise we’ll get back home tomorrow, get back into the hustle and bustle and this trip will quickly become yet another fading memory.

I worked most of the day last Tuesday. My mom drove into Austin around 4 p.m. and we were quickly shuttled off to the airport by our friend and neighbor Matt. Before heading to sunny Cali, we had to indulge in Salt Lick Barbecue at ABIA. Hopped on our plane and 3 hours later we were standing curbside at SDIA, waiting for my bro-in-law, Craig to pick us up. Twenty minute drive out to the house in Poway where took a load off and visited with Terri and Craig.

Wednesday morning, first thing we did was hop in the 88-degree pool and take a few runs on the slide (which is a great way to start a Wednesday morning!) We lounged around, swam, lounged, swam, and later cruised around the neighborhood in the Jeep golf cart. We fed the neighborhood horse some carrots. I left Poway around 11 a.m. and headed to the northern outskirts of San Diego to take clients out to lunch. We had a great lunch at Karl Strauss Brewing Company. After lunch we all headed back to their office for some brainstorming and Q&A. Always great to put faces to names when meeting clients in person. I left my client’s office around 3 p.m. and headed back to Poway. On the way, I happened upon an AT&T store, so I ducked in and upgraded to an iPhone 3GS. I got back to Poway in time to go swimming with the kids again. Craig and I smoked chicken breasts and grilled squash for dinner.

Thursday came early and was a busy day. We all loaded up and drove out to Pacific Beach for the wedding rehearsal at the ZLAC Rowing Club. After the rehearsal, Adam and I played football by the bay and happened upon a couple rays. After a couple hours, we headed over to World Famous on Pacific Beach for dinner. I wasn’t there for dinner, more there to wait on Ron to pick me up for the bachelor party.

After being at World Famous for an hour or so, Ron picked me up along with his best man, Jeff and Ron’s sister’s boyfriend, Dan. We drove a short while to Ron’s friend, Dave’s house for dinner, drinks and debauchery. Dave’s house, in a word: Amazing. Here’s a panoramic of the view from the rooftop.

Craig and I retired early from the bachelor party and headed back to Poway to call it a night.

On Friday, Craig and Terri had a few errands to run. The better part of the day was spent by us all setting up the house for the rehearsal dinner. Of course there were a few breaks to go swimming a couple times. Around 4 p.m., the guests started showing up. We had a great catered taco dinner complete with lemon, white chocolate and chocolate cakes. Later in the evening, I pulled my sister into the house and gave her my wedding gift to her. Earlier that week I had pulled out my dad’s old jewelry, which I’d inherited after he died. He had a simple gold band that looked like a wedding ring. He didn’t get a ring when he and my mom were married, so I assumed it was his wedding ring from his first marriage, which was to Elaine, my sisters’ mom. I asked my mom is she knew anything about the ring. She wasn’t sure if it was his wedding ring from his marriage to Elaine. So I put the ring on my right hand and wore it until this past Friday. During the rehearsal dinner, I pulled Elaine aside and asked her if she thought the ring was my dad’s from their marriage. She said she thought it was, keeping in mind this ring is probably 50-years-old.

So I told Lisa that I wanted her to have the ring. I took it off of my finger and put it into her hand. The look on her face was priceless. Lots of tears were shed and we hugged. I know she appreciated the gift and I’m really glad that I was able to give it to her.

The rest of the evening was spent breaking down tables and cleaning up after the party.

Saturday was the big wedding. The wedding was beautiful. My sisters looked gorgeous. Ron was very dapper. Gavin (Ron’s grandson) and Maly were adorable. The ceremony and reception went off without a hitch. Fun was had by all and I’m glad to have a new brother in the family and glad that Maly was able to be the gorgeous little flower girl.

Sunday was a day of rest and relaxation. The rehearsal and wedding were over and we just needed some time to hang out and do nothing. Grant and I worked on a new sailboat, we all swam and hung out in the hot tub, watched the boys race PlasmaCars down the big hill in front of the house (video coming soon), and ran a PlasmaCar down the waterslide (again, video coming soon).

On Monday we went to the Birch Aquarium where we met our Austinite friends Bradley, Susanna, Zachary, Grace and Caleb as well as Ron and Lisa. We saw lionfish, starfish, urchins and lobsters in a tidepool, jellyfish, more jellyfish, even more jellyfish, lots of indigenous aquatic life, a living shark embryo, sharks and stingrays, gorgeous sea dragons, potbelly seahorses, scorpion fish among other cool stuff.

We left the aquarium and had a great lunch with Ron and Lisa at the Cass Street Grill and Bakery. Then we were off to Ron and Lisa’s house in La Jolla. We made quick detour to catch my nephew Jason at two-a-day football practice at La Jolla High. He’s a freshman defensive lineman that I know will make me proud.

Shortly after getting to Ron and Lisa’s place, Lisa got a phone call to find that she got a job as a kindergarten/1st grade teacher, which was HUGE news. There was much rejoicing… two days prior, Lisa got married and then to find out she got a job that she’d been dying to get… doesn’t get much better than that! We were (and still are) so proud of and happy for her.

That night we celebrated by ordering a pizza from a local joint; the name escapes me but, holy crap, was that the best pizza ever!

Soon Tuesday was among us. We woke up early and started scurrying about the house. I was quick to find out that a few websites that I host were hacked, so I started “working”. Lisa had woken up at 3 a.m. and went to work getting her classroom at school setup. Mom & Elise started packing and helped clean the house. Ron had to go to work for an hour or so just to touch base and check in. It was a pretty stressful morning.

Ron came home and before we knew it, we were rushing out the door to head to the airport. We said our sweet goodbyes. The girls gave hugs and kisses to Ron and thanked him for the hospitality. I shook his hand, gave him a big hug and again welcomed him to the family. It was a sad farewell. I was last to enter the airport. Before I stepped foot inside, I turned west and took a deep breath in to collect the nice, dry, breezy and cool air of southern California before joining in the chaos.

The vacation came to an end. The whirlwind dissipated. Three hours later, traveling east by air, which always makes the weary traveler that much more weary, we found ourselves back in Austin. Humid, hot, sweaty, burnt grass abound.

Now we’re home, somewhat avoiding the imminent back-to-the-routine and silently reminiscing on the fair weather and the comfort of being with family and enjoying times with minimal worries.

I love southern California, probably more than my native Texas. I find comfort in knowing that we have family there who have told us on every previous visit that we’re welcome anytime. And I’ll gladly take ’em up on it.

Photos of Ron & Lisa’s wedding can be seen here.

This past weekend my sisters and nephews were in town as they boys were finishing up their three weeks at Camp Longhorn. When my San Diego family is in Texas for any amount of time greater than 45 minutes, they must indulge in a Whataburger. Having heard just the word Whataburger over the course of the weekend, and not having patronized a local Whataburger restaurant in a couple years, we decided to go to Whataburger for dinner last night.

Whataburger hamburgers are great; fast food Texas-style burgers with an emphasis on mustard and onions. I opted for the double meat, double cheese bacon jalapeno burger, and just ask my gastro-intestinal system how good THAT was. My cholesterol will whole-heartedly concur.

The best part of dinner wasn’t the food, it was the drive home. Since we were out, indulging in unhealthy fast food, we let Maly have lemonade. Normally she only imbibes in either milk or water for all meals so lemonade was a definite treat.

This is really one of those “you just had to be there” moments. As we were driving home, Maly decided that she wanted to open her Whataburger cup so she could get some ice. We can only speculate as we weren’t actively watching her in her car seat, but we heard the plastic lid pop off the cup and the sound of large chunks of ice clunking against each other, then a split second of silence, and then the sound of ice hitting the car’s ceiling, window, seat and center console. We both knew the cup was empty of most liquid, so the sound of ice being flung about the car was somewhat laughable. But the best part was Maly, in a short, determined and frustrated sputter exclaim, “SHOOT! BIG MESS!”

We think she said “shoot!”

I had a terribly frustrating day at work today. I couldn’t get caught up to save my life. I came home to mow the shin-high grass in 100+ degree weather and now I have so many mosquito bites that I look like a leper. I got angry and yelled at the Zombie Eater for throwing fist fulls of dirt into the pool. I stormed into the house, grabbed my phone to check my email. There, glowing in my inbox, was a signed contract from a sales call I went on in L.A. back in May.

That made the rough day at work today seem not-so-bad. Now I’ve to make up for the sour attitude that I had with Maly this evening.

I came home from work this evening to total silence. Total silence. Well, not TOTAL silence – total is a relative word here. Maly is away at Grandma’s for a couple days and Elise is at her MOMS group until 9:30 tonight.

I put my bag down and opened the mail at the kitchen counter. I heard an odd and faint whirring sound. As I walked toward the entertainment center, the sound became less faint. The sound was the hard drive spinning inside the TiVo as it recorded a TV show. I don’t think I’ve ever heard that sound before. It’s not a broken TiVo hard drive sound – more of a working TiVo hard drive spinning sound that I’ve never had the opportunity to hear.

I walked back to the kitchen to finish opening the mail. Still silence. The sound of me opening an envelope was almost deafening. Opening and closing the refrigerator door produced a thunderous reverberation throughout the kitchen. Because I could hear them, my footsteps seemed to be coming from someone else’s feet.

I stood at the kitchen counter and just looked blankly out onto the living room and out the windows to the backyard and thought, “this house will be like this one day.”

Fifteen years flashed before my eyes. I left the nest and moved to Austin to attend college 15 years ago. The 15 years that flashed before my eyes were not my own; they were my daughter’s. And each year, as it flashed, paused long enough for me to catch a brief gaze. The plays, recitals, games, classes, sleep-overs, slumber parties, trips, study groups, dances, dates.

And 15 years will have gone by like that, just like the previous 15 years have. At that point she will be 18-years-old. And I will be 35 because of cryogenics and human growth hormone. She will ready to leave the nest. Ready to pass through the ivory towers of the university or embark on whatever life journey so bewilders her. We will have done the absolute best that we can in that short amount of time to prepare and help her to be the best woman that she can possibly be.

One-sixth of our daughter’s life at home has already passed. I sit in a silent house hearing only the clatter of my keyboard and the squeak of my chair tonight. It’s nights like this that allow me to think about what’s really important in my life.

What’s important is now.

The next time she runs to me and asks, “Daddy! Want to play wiff my dollhouse wiff me?!?!”, there will be nothing more important.

I haven’t posted anything on Janicek.com since May 27th. Wow. Truth be told, I’ve been hanging out on Facebook. If you don’t know what Facebook is, your head’s been under a rock – right along side my wife’s!

By the time I get home from work, play with Maly, have dinner, work, bathe Maly, brush her teeth, brush her hair, work, give her new headbanging lessons, read to her, put her to bed, talk to Elise, work, it’s too late to recount my recently discovered high cholesterol count or a herd of ducks I might have seen on the way into work this morning.

So I post snippets here and there on Facebook, and I’ve been trying to get Elise to do the same. She won’t have it. There’s even a Facebook group, trying to urge Elise to join Facebook. I’ll bet if I became a Catholic, Elise wouldn’t have a leg to stand on in this Facebook joining battle.

But this battle hasn’t gone to that extreme. Yet. Elise raises a good point in that Facebook would be a total timesuck for her. And it would. If you know my wife, she’s not that great at managing her time. And I only write that because I had to step away from the keyboard to ask her if it was okay to write that.

I know more about what Elise’s friends from Iowa are doing than she does. Case-in-point, because of Facebook, I know that people in Iowa are experiencing their “summer” this week. Next week they’ll all be knee-deep in snow again.

In recent months I’ve come home to Elise with some exciting news:

“Jeff and Heather are having a boy!!!”

“That’s soooo two-day-old news”

“Facebook?”

“Yep. And I’ve already seen the ultrasound photos.”

“…”

“And I got an autographed copy! All done in “Facebook!””

We actually got into an argument as we were going to bed one night recently. I strongly urged my loving wife to adopt social media now, because in 5 years, when our daughter can send a MMS message via the Sonytendosoft Wii GPS Advanced720® Retina Sensorâ„¢ to her all-reaching, satellite-fed TwitBookr 2.0 account for all the world to read, except her mom, I’ll probably be standing before the open pantry, iPhoneMicro 9GTz Turbo in hand, downloading an application to determine if I’ve had enough soluble fiber for the day.

For dinner tonight we had leftover ribs, pinto beans and potato salad that I made on Sunday. Maly was kicking around the beans with her fork and she pushed aside a little piece of bacon…

“I don’t want to eat that.”

“That’s the best part! That’s bacon!”

“Why is there bacon in the beans?”

“Because it adds flavor and texture.”

“Hmmm.”

Elise chimed in:

“Maly, do you know what “texture” is?

“Yeah!”

“What is “texture””?

“Mise en place!!!”

Totally wrong answer, but still worthy of an immediate high-five from yours truly for her making the culinary association.

[flv width=”400″ height=”300″]http://www.maly.tv/video/20090516_garageplasmacarrally.flv[/flv]