I’ve been banging my head against the wall, asking Elise, asking Riley, asking Maly, “What can I write about?”

I have nothing. Zilch. Nada.

It’s hard to maintain any sort of outward social conciousness or wit when you have a human in your house that is not capable of holding her own head up and warrants a tangible document to journal her stools.

Instead of littering with daily updates on how Maly (MAY-lee) did the cutest little thing today and journaling shart density, I’ve decided to publish a monthly letter to Maly on or around the 15th of the month.

Daily poop reports and recounts of the birthing process I will leave up to Elise. Don’t expect many reports because even though I love my kid, the notion of human fecal excrementation still makes your humble narrator queasy. Elise is the only one who can feed which leaves her with little time outside of nourishing and dealing with seedy yellow sharts.

Seedy Yellow Sharts would be an awesome name for a band.

3 Replies to “Reprogramming”

  1. Ahh, the fond memories I have of Caden’s BM journal and which side and for how long he ate from. Lord, that sounds gross! Breastfeeding is not a delicate matter. I do still have the journal and can forever tell Caden when his first real poop was – as a boy he will be very proud.

  2. You’re getting away with not handling the toxic waste? That’s quite an accomplishment! (Please don’t tell Dan how you managed to pull it off!) Dan actually saved our feeding/poop charts as well, although I wanted to toss them. Just can’t imagine the baby being interested in them later on, but I guess we’ll see.

    Maly’s just beautiful. Worth all the work and “icky” stuff.

  3. It’s just part of fatherhood. Pretty soon it’ll be so commonplace, you can change a dirty diaper in your sleep!

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