Deer John…

Today was a real crappy day. Surprisingly, I’m in a good mood. Elise and I were beat out of buying a gorgeous house. We are still really bummed about it. Johnny came and picked me up for Tae Kwon Do tonight. In the middle of my bitching about the house we almost had, we hit a deer at approximately 50 mph. We were both terrified for 20 seconds or so. A few profanities were let loose. The weirdest part was that we both didn’t see the deer until impact. It came out from the brushy median in a flash. We both agreed that we could see it so vividly when it happened. I could see the deer’s eyes. The gross part was when I saw the antlers snap off during the ‘boom’. After the initial impact, we lost site of the deer. John let up on the brakes enough not to swerve into the other lane of traffic and to slow to a stop. A few moments later, the deer came falling from the sky and onto the road in front of us. We guesstimated that it flew 10-12 feet straight into the air.

John was pretty upset – who could blame him, he busted up his car two days before Thanksgiving. We couldn’t help but laugh though. Not because we killed a deer, but because this sort of thing just happens to us. John and I were driving around on a country road one afternoon in his old VW Beetle. We came to a dead end. Johnny put the car in reverse, we began backing up and both banged our heads on the car’s ceiling as we drove over his rear bumper. We still don’t know how the hell that happened!

Another time we were ‘motor surfing’ with John’s little brother, Evan, Philip and my girlfriend-at-the-time. John was driving while Philip was motor surfing (riding a skateboard while hanging on to the back of my Mom’s Audi). Philip decided to pull around to the side of the car when he slipped, went under the car and we ran over his leg. Luckily nothing happened.

And on another occasion, John and I were leaving a party. John was driving (notice a pattern here?) John pulled out of the driveway, thinking he was going to merge onto the main street. Instead, forgetting that this main street was perpendicular to the driveway, drove straight ahead and we nose-dived into the ditch across the cross street. That was the only time I really got mad at him.

I had to rib Johnny a little bit tonight. I asked him why he couldn’t have gotten at 8-point. The one we got was only a 6.

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