Month: June 2003

I don’t know why I do this to myself, but sometimes I think back to the times when I worked at that place in Temple. I worked in a cubicle environment. I was one of the lucky ones who had a door to my cubicle. I strolled into work, shut my cubicle and didn’t come out unless it was for a regularly scheduled oxygen thieving, pointless meeting or to go home. Well, I also left my cubicle to use the restroom and forage for food and water.

One day I was really tired while working diligently at nothing. I spun a couple times in my chair, eyeing my workspace and contemplating laying down and taking a nap. I decided against that as someone might knock and walk in. Instead, with my shoes off, I propped my feet out as far as I could, slouched into my chair and rested my head almost comfortably on the back of my chair. I fell asleep rather quickly. How do I know that I fell asleep? Because I woke myself up by snoring. Not really snoring as most people are accustomed, but rather by one booming, throated HORK. I instantly corrected my posture and replayed that sound in my head. What were other people thinking? I immediately tried to replicate that sound. Cough. Foot stomp. Chair squeak. Nope, none of them came close. I didn’t hear anyone muster, so I stopped attempting to cover myself.

I don’t know why I remembered that.

Jenni came to visit this past weekend. She came in early Friday morning. She and Elise went to lunch, to the pool and to the grocery store. I came home from work and seared salmon with a black bean and corn salsa along with steamed asparagus.

After dinner we went to Club DeVille and met up with John and Christine. We stayed for an hour or so and came home early.

We all woke up early on Saturday. While the girls readied themselves, I made a plethora of breakfast tacos from my leftover black bean and corn salsa, queso, eggs and ham. We left for John and Christine’s at 9 a.m. John ate most of the breakfast tacos. Victor arrived around 10. We sat by the pool for a little while and then all headed off to New Braunfels.

When all was said and done, I’d say we got into the Guadalupe River around 11:30 after renting our tubes and raft from Rockin’ R. We floated and floated and floated. I have to say that drunk frat boys with water canons are the most hilarious people in the world, blasting unsuspecting adults and children in the face with excrement infested river water. A real hoot those guys are. I’d bet money that at the end of the day they were scratching their heads, wondering why they weren’t able to muster up any women of the river.

Anyway, we had a lot of fun. Everyone was exhausted once we got back on land. We were all starving as well. It was my idea to eat dinner at Gristmill. I don’t think anybody liked their dinner, myself included. I ordered the beef tenderloin salad. I asked for medium rare. I was handed a plate of lettuce and beef jerky. I know nobody enjoyed waiting almost two hours to eat either. Luckily I wasn’t beheaded. I’ve eaten at Gristmill once before, albeit it was during the lunch hour and it wasn’t as crowded.

After having a late dinner, we all drove back to Austin and retreated to our separate homes.

It was brought to my attention that I neglected to mention (that I once had detention in a separate dimension – sorry, I couldn’t help myself. I’m still trying that whole gangsta rap thing) that Victor was hit by a car the Saturday before last. Don’t worry, he’s okay. That was probably the coolest thing that I’ve ever seen. I don’t see how I could have forgotten to post this.

Elise, Cody, Victor and yours truly were walking back from a night of motorcycle mayhem on Sixth Street. We were abidingly crossing the street when a car came out of nowhere and nailed Victor in the legs. Victor just-so-happened to be talking with his sister on his cellular phone at the time. The car clipped Victor’s legs and sent him into the air and onto the hood of the car. All the while I could barely make out Victor speaking into the phone “Hold on Lisa, I’m being hit by a car right now… Hang on just a sec.”

It was a very surreal, Matrix-like moment. It seemed as if everything went into “bullet time”. The car’s tires screeched. We all turned our heads as fast as we could in slow motion. There was Victor, finding out at the last possible instant that he was going to be hit. Smack. Everything reverted back to real time. Victor popped off the hood of his car, brushed off his slacks, walked away and called his sister back. Not to leave the hit-and-runner without all the oh-my-god-what-did-I-just-do imagery he or she could have possibly been left with from this experience, I ran up to the driver’s window and clapped like a infant seeing that gorilla who played the keyboards at Showbiz Pizza for the first time. Too much imagery? Well, like I said, it was a surreal moment.

We’re all lucky that that car wasn’t going any faster. And that it is apparent that Victor is the One.

Elise just found out that one of her bestfriends from home is a Mom as of 9:15AM this morning.
Welcome to the world,
Liam Brandon
7lbs, 7oz
21 inches long.
Congratulations Lindsey!

I went back to Warehouse Music yesterday during my lunch break and picked up my copy of St. Anger. The clerk seemed like a cool kid, what with his spiked hair, leather and studded jewelry. I asked how the new CD sounded. He said he liked it a lot and was going to buy it himself. I went on to explain to him that I’ll give my money to Metallica only because I’m a fan (despite Load and ReLoad). I then told him that I usually just use Kazaa. Oops. All the sudden the lighthearted friendliness fizzled from our conversation. I left. I guess some diehard record store employees aren’t keen on peer-to-peer file sharing clients. I didn’t care. I came home for lunch and watched the first half of the enclosed DVD.

In other news: Austin was rated the best city for singles in 2003 because of “its terrific job market, its low cost of living…” Who the hell comes up with this stuff? Seriously.

Bossman took us diligent workers out to the Old Alligator Grill last night to celebrate a very successful May. I had a hankerin’ for oysters so I downed a dozen. We all split a couple sampler platters and talked shop over a few margaritas. I was pretty upset that they removed all of the photos from Office Space and replaced that wall with a mirror. A mirror. I love Office Space and it’s cool to sit in a restaurant where part of that movie was filmed. I can’t relate to said movie very much any more. It had a lot more depressing significance when I worked at that other place. Very corporate. Very blech.

Speaking of that other place… right before I found my current job, I was involuntarily moved downstairs to work in the Information Systems department. This meant having a new boss. A fire was lit under my butt to find new work when this “change” was dropped in my lap. Anyway, to spare you the details, that new boss of mine was fired last night. My original manager in the Marketing department was given the choice to leave or take a huge pay and title cut a couple months ago. She chose the door. And just last week the Chief Strategy Officer was given the boot. Man do I ever miss that place. I love the job I have now.

I just got back from my weekly outing with Harold. He and I went and played disc golf. I lost. We weren’t even keeping score and I lost. I knew how this round was going to turn out after I lost one of my discs on my first tee off. We still had fun though.

After golf we went to Sonic. Christina (Harold’s mom) gave Harold some money with which to buy dinner. I wasn’t hungry so I sat across from Harold and watched this not-even-one-hundred-pound boy inhale a double meat cheeseburger and a large order of tater tots. Before he began this strategic carnivorous attack, I asked him if he could eat that whole meal. He told me that he eats like that all the time. He went on to tell me that he doesn’t get fat because he stays active. With a sigh I responded “Oh to have the metabolism of a thirteen year old.”

Harold: “What’s that?”
Josh: “Metabolism is a bodily function that occurs during digestion and converts food into energy.”
H: “Sessassolism”
J: “Metabolism”
H: “Tsusabalism”
J: “Metabolism”
H: “Mesabitism”
J: “Meh-tab-bull-ism
H: “Metublibiblstmism… so what’s your favorite kind of soda?”
J: “I don’t know, Pepsi, Dr. Pepper. I really haven’t thought about it.”
H: “Do you like root beer?”
J: “Oh yeah! I like root beer a lot. Come to think about it, I really like cream soda, Orange Crush, Grape Crush”
H: “Have you ever mixed up a bunch of sodas together and drank it?”
J: “Yeah, that’s a suicide”
H: “A what?”
J: “A suicide. That’s what you call it when you mix all of the sodas together from the fountain. You know, Coke, Dr. Pepper, Sprite, that red stuff. Everything except the diet stuff. What do you call it?”
H: “Mixing a bunch of sodas together.”

Typical pause in male conversation

Josh: “Do you want to run over to the record store with me real quick?”
Harold: “The where?”
J: “The record store”
H: “What’s a record store?”

Josh’s internal monologue: Oh my gawd. I’ve come to a point in my life where I’m realizing that I’m getting older. The signs are all here. Hair is either falling out or just deciding that it looks much nicer growing from out of my ears. The forehead is getting wrinkly. I look forward to seeing the optometrist once a year. Body mass moving south. And now I’m going to have to explain why “CD stores” were once called record stores.

We went to the record store (I’m sticking to it). Rumor had it that St. Anger was to be released at 5:30 p.m. Warehouse Music knew nothing of it. It was funny to be in a record store again. I honestly don’t remember that last time I set foot in one.

We left the record store and went across the street to get Elise’s prescription filled (she’s ill). Harold and I sampled some Burt’s Bees hand lotion and smelled like little old ladies all the way home.

I took Harold back to his house and am now home. Next Wednesday we’re going to Town Lake and renting a canoe. Is it considered renting if you don’t have to pay? One of the cool things about being a Big Brother is that you’re inundated with lists of stuff to do from the BBBS office and we get to do a lot of things for free. Like renting boats. The week after that we’re going to go play laser tag.

I have to go tend to my sickly wife now. She has a horrible strain of SARS (Sick And Really Sleepy).

I’ve been suffering from physical activity withdrawal. Since my bicycle wreck I’ve been riding the motorcycle to work. Now I’m restless and fidgety. I bent my handlebar. That’s why I haven’t been riding to work. I removed the grips and the grip shifters and decided that I need new shifters. My old ones don’t work correctly. I went to Cothron’s bicycle shop and ordered a new set of integrated switch shifters and brake levers as well as a new handlebar. The shifters/brake levers won’t be in until next week. I left the handlebar up there thinking I’ll just pick it up when I go back to pick up the shifters. Now I’m thinking I’ll go back over there today and pick up the handlebar. I’ll have to mount that first anyway. And besides, I can still ride my bike with the old shifters.

Elise and I hit the Republic of Texas Biker Rally on Friday night. Well, we didn’t actually go to the rally, we caught the tail end of the entrance parade in downtown Austin. Every year that we’ve gone, I keep telling myself: “We should ride the trusty Shadow up here”. We finally rode the trusty Shadow this time. I’ve always been intimidated by the big, loud custom bikes. This time I didn’t care. Elise helped in reminding me that at least we have a bike. It didn’t take long before we reminded ourselves that we’re getting a Harley. Someday.

We walked around until we were sweaty, cranky and our feet started hurting. We stopped in one bar for a drink and then decided to leave. John called and invited us over to Threadgill’s to see Dub Miller’s band. I had completely forgotten that John and Dub had a lustful past. Lanessa and Kirk came out and joined us later in the evening.

We went over to John & Christine’s and watched a slideshow from their recent trip to St. Martin. After that, Elise and I rode home and went to bed.

We woke up early on Saturday. Elise returned some stuff at Target and did a little shopping at the Red Apple sale. I rode the trusty Shadow into town just to see what was going on. Nothing was really going on so headed home. Elise and I arrived at the apartment around the same time. Elise and I then went to the Harry Ransom Center on the UT campus to see the original mask and script from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Shhh… you’re not supposed to take photos. We also saw Sandy Skoglund’s Radioactive Cats. Very cool.

We drove over to Cody’s and hung out at his apartment for a couple hours. I called Victor and he told me that his cousin, her husband and their Harley-Davidson riding crew from San Antonio were on their way over to his place. Cody, Elise and yours truly hopped in the Jeep and went over to Victors. After talking with everyone for a while, the bikers headed off to downtown to join the festivities. The remaining four of us went out for Chinese food.

Elise, Cody and I dropped Victor off and headed back to our apartment. Victor came over later in the evening. We sat on the patio and decided to go downtown to be amongst the bikes again. We hung out at Cheers most of the night and dodged the wrath of fire breathing bartenders. We went outside close to last call and checked out some of the custom bikes that were adorning Sixth Street.

We came home in the wee hours of the morning. Elise and I went to bed and were couch potatoes all day Sunday. Although we did watch reruns of the Great Biker Build-Off and Motorcycle Mania 2 on the Discovery Channel. And then, if that weren’t enough, we watched Easy Rider on DVD.