Blazer Lazer Tag

Harold and I went to Blazer Lazer last night for a couple games of Blazer Tag. We had a blast. For the first game, it was every man (pre-pubescent male) for himself. After five minutes of all-out blazing lazer hellfire, I realized that 1) I’m out of shape and 2) pre-pubescent males are dangerously aggressive with battery powered laser canons. It didn’t help that I was the tallest panting target in a room built for five foot people.

The rules are pretty simple. Shoot other people. When you’re tagged, your vest emits a sort of glass crashing sound and your entire “suit” starts blinking. It seemed like with every step that I took, I heard that ominous glass crashing sound and my chest suddenly became what looked like a landing strip for a small UFO brigade. With as much blinking as my suit was doing, I should have given myself the codename Lanky Christmas Tree instead of, get this, Neo. Yeah, I couldn’t come up with anything better. I didn’t know we were going to have to pick codenames.

I actually didn’t do that bad. The first game consisted of 11 players. I came in eighth. It was the first game. I didn’t know how to play. The gun I was toting sported a fancy LCD that I couldn’t understand. I couldn’t tell if it was scientific calculator, a Gameboy or one of those jobbers you see on boats that tells you where to find the fish.

Luckily Harold took me under his wing. He was familiar with the sector as he had done a couple tours in that region before. He guided me to his strategic stronghold and we played snipers.

For the second game, the entire group was divided into two teams. Red and yellow. Harold and I were on the yellow team. This time, yours truly came in fourth.

Harold came in first.

Both games.

By a landslide.

He’s good.

Really good.

So good that if I were ever backed into a dark alley by a pack of rabid Pit Bulls with grenade launching tails and Ray Romano, I’d want Harold to come swooshing in with his Blazer Lazer pack and blast them all away with mean vengeance. With his trusty two handled laser pointer.

Anyway, we kind of screwed up the first game. You get an access ticket when you give the cashier your money and codename. On that ticket is printed your code name and what pack your supposed to strap on after your briefed on game play. I neglected to read our tickets. I just knew that we had packs 3 and 4. Harold was supposed to be Cyrus on the first game. On the second game, he was Cyrus and I was Neo. As we had intended. Here are my score cards.

Harold’s a good kid. I really enjoy hanging out with him. It gives me something to look forward to. His mom told me that he really likes hanging out with me and he can’t wait until I show up to pick him up on Wednesday evenings.

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