Elise and I have begun nesting. We haven’t verbally acknowledged this to one another, but I’ve seen it setting in.
I’ve tested all of the smoke and carbon monoxide alarms throughout the house. I’ve refinished the Zombie Eater’s dresser and attached the refinished mirror that I personally shopped. Yesterday I bought a 110 pack of little Pampers. I’ve begun massaging my perineal so I don’t need an episiotome and I’ve found myself screaming to the cat, “No. NO! NOOOO!! DO NOT PUT THAT IN YOUR MOUTH!!!”
Elise has been listening to New Age music non-stop in preparation for a calm, natural newborn delivery. If I hear one more Enya song I’m going to stick a fork in my ear and I swear her “hypnobirthing” CD is narrated by Betty White. The neighborhood association has already contacted us twice due to the Nag Champa billowing from our house and the neighbors are complaining about the constant sitar playing and chanting.