Author: Josh

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Smoked Sockeye Salmon with Roasted Garlic and Anaheim Bearnaise

Smoked SalmonApplewood smoked Sockeye salmon with roasted garlic and Anaheim bearnaise topped with lump crab meat and caviar. On the side sauteed turnips, zucchini and red peppers and smashed potato and poblano galettes with matchstick potatoes.

I hate to toot my own horn but that was a damn good meal.

    Garlic & Anaheim bearnaise
    1 bulb garlic roasted
    1 anaheim pepper
    1/2 C. white wine vinegar
    1 shallot
    4 egg yolks
    clarified butter
    1 C. boiling water

    Boil finely chopped garlic, shallot and anaheim in vinegar until almost all of the liquid has evaporated. Remove from heat and allow to cool.

    With a wire wisk, add egg yolks one at a time, stirring constantly. Temp with hot water very slowly. Whisk in clarified butter.

    Smashed Potato & Poblano Galette
    1 lb. potato of you choice
    1/2 lb. sweet potato
    1 large poblano pepper
    1 shallot
    1 tsp chili powder
    1 tsp white pepper
    1 tsp cumin
    1/4 C. clarified butter

    Shred potatoes and drain on paper towels. Coursely chop poblano and shallot. Add all ingredients in mixing bowl. Toss.

    Heat oil to smoking point in large skillet. Add potato mixture and spread mix to form a large pancake. Cook to golden brown on both sides. Remove from skillet and warm at 400 degrees in oven for 15 minutes. Remove from oven, smash pancake with hands and add 2 tablespoons brown sugar. Salt to taste.

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Red, White and Crue

On April 15th, you might be struggling to get your taxes done in time. Elise and I will be at the SBC Center in San Antonio with Mötley Crüe!!!

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John\’s 29

John’s birthday was this past Thursday. For his present I cooked a nice dinner for John, Christine, Elise and myself on Friday evening.

Applewood smoked Sockeye salmon with roasted garlic and Anaheim bearnaise topped with lump crab meat and caviar. On the side sauteed turnips, zucchini and red peppers and smashed potato and poblano galettes with matchstick potatoes. [photo]

I hate to toot my own horn but that was a damn good meal.

    Garlic & Anaheim bearnaise
    1 bulb garlic roasted
    1 anaheim pepper
    1/2 C. white wine vinegar
    1 shallot
    4 egg yolks
    clarified butter
    1 C. boiling water

    Boil finely chopped garlic, shallot and anaheim in vinegar until almost all of the liquid has evaporated. Remove from heat and allow to cool.

    With a wire wisk, add egg yolks one at a time, stirring constantly. Temp with hot water very slowly. Whisk in clarified butter.

    Smashed Potato & Poblano Galette
    1 lb. potato of you choice
    1/2 lb. sweet potato
    1 large poblano pepper
    1 shallot
    1 tsp chili powder
    1 tsp white pepper
    1 tsp cumin
    1/4 C. clarified butter

    Shred potatoes and drain on paper towels. Coursely chop poblano and shallot. Add all ingredients in mixing bowl. Toss.

    Heat oil to smoking point in large skillet. Add potato mixture and spread mix to form a large pancake. Cook to golden brown on both sides. Remove from skillet and warm at 400 degrees in oven for 15 minutes. Remove from oven, smash pancake with hands and add 2 tablespoons brown sugar. Salt to taste.

Here are some photos of the evening.

Around 10:30, Philip showed up after a long drive from Houston where he picked up his Z06 Corvette. Damn, that car is awesome. I’ll leave it up to your imagination how fast we drove down Wm. Cannon. That car is unreal! And Riley approved.

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Pusher

I never know when to call something ironic, a metaphor or a prime number. I’ll call this one ironaphoric.

I patronize a local liquor store to buy my scotch. Linda, the lady who works at the liquor store, and I got to talking yesterday. She mentioned that she takes vitamins. My company sells an entire line of wellness products.

Long story short, I bought Linda a bottle of one of our top selling women’s multi-vitamins and delivered today along with a ton of literature on osteoporosis, women’s health and an entire product list. She bought me a bottle of wine, gave me a few hugs and a few “God bless yous”.

So I’m pushing wellness and she’s buying. She’s pushing fixxxer and I’m buying.

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Josh’s Boric Bar

We have ants. Big ants. They used to be small and cute. Over the past week they’ve grown into the winged variety that rival our cats in size.

We all coexisted for a while. They finally pissed me off. They were hogging the couch, insistent on watching reruns of Sex and the City and they drank all of my Dr. Pepper. I decided to kill them as I would with any other house guest who has worn out their welcome.

After reading up on how to rid yourself of those of the Hymenoptera order, I decided on treating our guests to a boric acid cocktail. I sent Sue to the pharmacy yesterday to pick up a bottle of boric acid. Killing something with acid is something I’ve always kept high on my perpetual to-do list.

I came home from work, compounded my own queen killing concoction and fed them all. Last night there were many. This morning there were few. Tonight there should be none. If it doesn’t work, I’m trying napalm.


Ants on our kitchen counter dining on my boric acid solution

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Lists and free thinking

I’m big on lists. I always have been. I’ve always had to write things down. I always have a tangible to do list. Back in my grade school and college days, I kept a pocket day calendar either in my back pocket or in my backpack. I used my pocket calendar to note homework assignments and project due dates. I don’t know why I stopped carrying one. Maybe that’s why I’m not as organized as I used to be.

Elise and I use Ta-da list. I use it for everything: Things that need to get done around the house, shopping lists, recipe ideas, gadgets that I think I can’t live without, music I want to remember to buy from the iTunes music store, gift ideas and reminders in general.

When the weather changes for the better, in this case, spring, I like to turn over a new leaf and get aggressive with our finances and my regular intake of folic acid. I attribute this to many things. Two of which are as follows:

  1. The IRS got us again this year. I changed my W4 at work to Single claiming 0 dependents. That means that there is a very noticeable amount being taken out of my paycheck each month.
  2. I’ve been reading this 26-year-old’s blog.

In an effort to save cash, we have adopted two short-term goals:

  1. Not eat out as much
  2. Cut corners

Cutting corners was stemmed by my regular paying of the bills. We pay what I think is too much for our auto insurance with Famers. I have a separate policy through Progressive for my motorcycle. I have full coverage on the bike and, in my opinion, don’t pay very much. I decided to call Progressive today to get a quote for our other vehicles. Their ‘suggested’ policy would save us nearly $60 a month.

I didn’t have my policy coverage paperwork from Farmers with me at the time that I called Progressive. So before I buy a policy from Progressive, I need to compare all of the policy information from both companies.

I noted this in my Ta-da list: Compare Progressive quote with Farmers.

After reading that I thought it sounded funny. It reminded me of my days as a scholar, the days in the classroom where we would discuss great literary works. “Compare progressive quote with farmers”. Forward-thinking rhetoric compiled and scrutinzed by those who plant, sow, cultivate, raise lifestock, etc.

Next item on Ta-da list: Quit being retarded.

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Burritos

I was reading an article on Chipotle (the restaurant) the other day. The very first sentence read “If you walk into Chipotle on 34th Street in Manhattan at lunchtime, you will have to wait in line.” I thought: “Why?” and half-assed read the rest of the article. I’ve eaten at Chipotle. Put a Freebirds in Manhattan. That’ll fix ’em.

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Poblano burger and fixed socket

Poblano burger and fixed socket

Last night Elise and I cooked dinner together. I put my wife to work as fry cook. She made homemade French fries. I whipped up a Cascabel and chipotle mayonnaise to go with hamburgers topped with Monterey Jack cheese and grilled poblano peppers. The burgers were great but we always wind up eating during the part of Fear Factor where the contestants are having to drink rotted beef blended with maggots.

After a fed up consult with my Ta-da list, I called an electrician yesteday. This morning I had an electrician come out to the house to troubleshoot the faulty plugs in both bathrooms and at the front porch.

This wasn’t your everyday electrician either. I had a master electrician by the name of Harry Swimme drive out. If I had to guess, I’d say Mr. Swimme is 86 years young. He has the finger dexterity and eye-hand coordination that could probably put a 13 year old Xbox champion to shame. Mr. Swimme is a great converstionalist too. He’d told me stories about ‘back in the day’. He’s been an electrician for 62 years! He bought his first house for $16,000 and sold it for $200,000. He bought his second house for $18,000 and sold it for over $300,ooo.

Anyway – $75 later I had a great conversation with a pro and a happy wife because she can blow dry her hair in the bathroom again!

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Angels by my arms

I had the oddest dream this morning. Very rarely do I remember my dreams. This was one of those dreams that shook me so hard that it woke me up. It felt all too real. When I did wake up, I didn’t want to open my eyes because I felt as if something was watching me.

I was driving the Expedition with my Dad in the passenger seat. We were driving down a street in a neighborhood that looked like the one in which I grew up. It was late in the evening, dark outside and the street lights were not on. Dad and I had been engaged in some very relaxed, casual discussion. There was a pause in the conversation. Nothing abnormal. Just comfortable silence.

I had the radio on at a barely audible level. The radio slowly started to get louder. It wasn’t a noticable increase in volume until I realized that we could actually hear what was on the radio. It got louder and louder, but not deafening. Thinking nothing of it, I reached to turn the radio down. At the moment at which I reached for the stereo’s volume knob, I felt something touch my arm. It wasn’t Dad as he was sitting quietly, unmoved in the passenger seat.

It was an very disturbing and real feeling. Something had touched me.

While having a paranormal encounter feeling, I began to pull my arm back toward me and away from the stereo. I noticed an old, dark colored, non-descript, very large sedan driving very slowly in front of us – like it was guiding us. I also noticed that something had turned my headlights off. I know longer had, nor did I concern myself with controlling the vehicle. At that exact moment (this is all happening in the blink of an eye) both of my arms are being held ever so softly. But there are no hands – just the sensation. There are soft hands moving up and down the entire length of both of my arms. The sensations move up and down my arms like liquid. The hands are maternally warm – the warmth that is known only from a mother’s womb. They were infant hands. I know this because I could feel them individually on each arm. I don’t know how many there were because the sensation was overwhelming. The feeling was so disturbing yet unhumanly soothing at the same time. The stimuli washed throughout my entire body and gently traveled up my spine, behind both ears and into my head in a tingling wave. The feeling of peace overcame me. I had never felt so comfortable even though I didn’t know what it was that I was feeling.

A sudden feeling of fear overcame me. I pulled off of the road and into a parking lot. I know Dad got out of the truck but I didn’t know where he went. I exited the truck and turned back to look at where I had just been sitting. There was an apparition looking back at me. It spoke to me.

I don’t remember what the being said. I don’t remember if it even spoke. I don’t think I’m supposed to remember. However, it did communicate with me and it gave me something. It seems weird, but I think it gave me some sort of intangable document – like an insurance claim. It communicated to me that it wanted me to help it, right a wrong or never let something like this happen to another family. Someone or something had allowed those loving children to die. Those were the hands that were holding my arms and trying to comfort me. They were angels.

It was at that point when I woke myself up. When I woke up, I felt the same sensations that I had just felt in my dream. Something had comforted me but had also placed a burden in my hands. I laid in bed awake with my eyes closed. I was still scared, yet still at peace.

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The Salt Lick, yard work & red hot chile peppers

I shopped for land on my way home from work on Friday evening. I drove down Fall Creek Road between Llano County and home. I found a 2 acre lot that I didn’t like. The Texas hill country is very, very rocky. Elise and I would love to own a small plot of land and I figured it’s never to early to start shopping. I’d like to be a small time rancher one day – maybe have an exotic game farm.

When I got into Austin, I drove around to pick up John’s birthday presents. After that, went home and guarded the TV.

Elise had to work most of the day on Saturday. I raked leaves, fertilized the lawn, pruned the crepe myrtle, spreaded mulch and potted three really cool willow plants that I picked up at Central Market a few weeks ago and put a wireless VPN router up for sale on Ebay. After all of that hard work, I treated myself to a 1GB iPod shuffle.

Elise came home around 5 and we headed out through the nasty drizzle to meet up with friends for dinner at The Salt Lick. Despite the horrible weather, the restaurant was packed. The Salt Lick provides a great atmosphere but Elise and I have never been true fans of the food. This time the food was fantastic (although we’re true Rudy’s fans). We were very impressed that our service and food was top notch given the crowd and the weather.

Elise and I ran into our neighbors as we were leaving the restaurant and stopped to chat for a while. On the way home we stopped at Blockbuster and rented Garden State. Awesome movie.

Elise went to church Sunday morning. I updated HartzVictims.org with a very disturbing post. Elise came home and we went for a late lunch at Hill’s Cafe (great comfort food). Elise had the pork loin plate. I had the Redneck Philly sandwich.

After lunch we drove back to Oak Hill so I could pick up some goodies at Wyatt’s Nursery. I’m going for a full-on pepper garden this year (I had great luck last year) – Anaheims, cayennes, habeneros, jalapenos and poblanos. I’ve been doing a lot of research on chile peppers and am really excited about a fruitful summer – a lot of sweat from not only gardening in the Texas heat, but also some new culinary endeavors.

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Glowing Time of Neversleep

There’s not many things that bother me. One of those ‘not many things’ is being made aware of time should I wake up sometime during the night.

Scenario: Josh awakes from a deep slumber sometime during the night to see a man about a horse. On the way, Josh accidentally sees the clock on the dresser and notes that it is 5:47 a.m.

“That leaves me around an hour to sleep”

I can never go back to sleep after seeing the clock. I will lay in bed and think “I’ll bet I have less than an hour to sleep now.” “I wonder how much longer now.” “If I open my eyes, I’ll bet I could see that the blinds are starting to glow from the early morning light.”

It always, ALWAYS happens. It could be 1:30 a.m.: “I only have five hours left to sleep.”

I might doze off, but for some reason I become stressed and overly concious of time. I hate it. It’s a disease.

We bought our house a little over a year ago. With the house came a water softener. Water Softener is smart as it does its brining thing very early in the morning. When Smart Water Softener is all out of salt, it likes to call out: BEEEEEEEEEP………. BEEEEEEEEEP………. BEEEEEEEEEP………. BEEEEEEEEEP………. BEEEEEEEEEP………. BEEEEEEEEEP………. BEEEEEEEEEP………. BEEEEEEEEEP………. BEEEEEEEEEP………. BEEEEEEEEEP………. BEEEEEEEEEEEP.

It’s not a quiet beep either. Invariably your humble narrator gets out of bed to silence Water Softener. This very thing happened just this morning – early this morning…

I, the Dark Knight, rose from slumber after I’d heard the taunting, roaring BEEEEEP coming from the Soft Water Dragon who was bellowing from within the Guhraj Dungeon.

This quest was two-fold: Silence Soft Water Dragon and be not blinded by the Glowing Time of Neversleep.

I slowly rose to my feet and checked my armor (that’s knight talk for scratched my nether regions). Stealthily I made my way to the far side of Kitt Chun Island where I attained a trusty lantern from the Drawer de los Junke.

I continued my journey to the Guhraj Dungeon along the south shore of Kitt Chun Island. My peripheral caught light from one of Neversleep’s glowing minions. Wearily I looked away, traveled onward toward the beep and avoided the spell of Neversleep.

Before long I found myself at a tall door that separated me from Guhraj Dungeon and Soft Water Dragon. I flung open the heavy door, shined my lantern into the eyes of the dragon, checked my armor again and farted.

While the dragon was momentarily distracted, I quickly lifted his armor chest plate and with grace and precision, pressed the “Silence Soft Water Dragon” button.

Alas, the kingdom was quiet. It was time for this Dark Knight to check his armor again and make his way home.

Exhausted, I traveled back the way I came as this was what I thought the safest route. Traveling west along the south bank of Kitt Chun Island I came across two minions of glowing time. My will power prevailed as I looked away and traveled toward my lair. It was upon crossing the threshold of my own chamber where I was confronted, head on, by the evilest of Neversleep minions: Redglow of St. Sleepsnomore.

I harnessed my Dark Knight powers, checked my armor one last time, closed my eyes, found my way back to my cot and made no eye contact with Redglow.

I silenced the Soft Water Dragon and had not been blinded by the Glowing Time of Neversleep. I was home and safe to slumber. I knew not of time, could easily fall back to sleep and be well rested for the day ahead.

“That dragon, oh, how he angers me when he bellows in the cold, early mornings!” I victoriously proclaimed.

My princess stirred and responded: “Yes, especially at 4 o’clock in the morning.”

“Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh.”