I was thinking about titling this post something like “2025 turned out pretty okay” but figured I’d be more forward thinking than reflective. But this is very much a reflective recollection.
I woke up this morning with what I’d guess would be sense of gratitude. Or maybe contentment. And I think that really just boils down to me not being depressed right now. I’m thankful and very congizant of the fact that I’m not depressed right now, and that’s been a very welcome departure from more years than I care to recount past.
2024 was a really bad year for me. It started very early on in January when arguably one of the worst bosses I’ve ever had fired me for no cause. And that really sucked because she fired me from a job that i was really enjoying — working at the local run club. I still resent her for that and I’m very much aware that that feeling isn’t healthy. And maybe (hopefully) that’ll be one of the positive things that I can work on and acomplish in 2026. Forgiving and forgetting, or something like that. I don’t let what happened eat at me regularly, but every once in a while that time in my life crops up in the ol’ memory and I’ll get a bit steamed about it all over again and, as they say, I’ll let it live in my head rent-free.
In the first week of 2025 I was informed that aforementioned boss was fired. And I’d be lying if I said that the news didn’t give me pleasure and gratification, and that it wasn’t deserved, but I wouldn’t wish that upon anyone. Probably because I’m empathetic after having lost my share of jobs. But I’d also be lying if I said that didn’t start the year on a positive note.
The beginning of 2025 was depressing though. We had Christmas here in Austin with Steve and Joanne, and while they welcomed the weather, the weather was miserably warm and not Christmas-like at all. that first week in January Mara and I were reflecting on how it just hadn’t felt like Christmas that year. Thanksgiving and Christmas were really close to each other. It didn’t get cold at all in Austin, and it just felt pretty ho-hum.
Maly went back to Charleston for school shortly after the new year and I got really depressed after she left. She’d left in the fall to start her college career 1,300 miles away and it was so tough learning to live and adapt without her being around. And then she was home for a month for the holidays and it was like all was fixed and normal and my baby was home again. And then she had to leave again. I had to wake up from a good dream.
And when I woke up, everything had to go back to norming. Maly was gone, 1,300 miles away. Mara had to go back to school. Elise and I had to go back to work. It’s like the lights flipped on and someone screamed, “Okay, fun’s over. Get back to work. The beatings’ll stop when morale improves.”
It hit me pretty hard because over the holidays I usually get pretty introspective and existential. And a lot of what bounces around in my head are ponderings on creating core memories for the girls and am I do enough for and with them and am I really present and am I happy, content and fulfilled with what I’m doing with my life. And there’s usually a lot of weight on the latter.
It started hitting me around Thanksgiving that I wasn’t enjoying the job that I’d been at for about five months. And that was frustrating and depressing in its own right. My whole team had been laid off in early 2021 from a job that I’d been at for over seven years, and from a job that I’d had no plans to leave. And then rug was pulled out from underneath me. And then that led to period in my life’s timeline where I’d be unemployed, and stressed about finding a job, and then finding a job and either get laid off again or finding myself unhappy and unfulfilled, and the cycle was repeating itself every six months. Like clockwork.
And here it was again, at the six month mark and I knew in my mind — I’d already drawn the line in the sand — that I wasn’t meant to be at this job. But I also knew what I was up against. The tiring and frustrating task of looking for a job, sending my resume, not hearing back from companies about jobs for which I knew I was well-qualified.
I remember it like it was yesterday. It was the Monday that things went back to normal. Maly was back in Charleston. Elise went back to work. I walked Mara to school for her first day back from Christmas break. I sat at my desk and clocked in (this job required that I clocked in. And I’d already gotten slapped on the wrist for clocking in too early. And then again for clocking in too late) and that’s when the fire in my belly got really hot. I decided I was going to find a new job. And I was going to do it really fast. And I was not going to get yet another sales, account managment, or customer success job. So I omitted Indeed and LinkedIn from my job search toolbox.
I found a job on, of all places, Facebook. It was in a neighborhood “job board” Facebook group. I reached out to the person who’d posted the job that Monday morning. We scheduled an interview for the next day (Tuesday). I had a job offer on Wednesday.
That really kickstarted 2025 into being a pretty kickass year.
I’ve always maintained this internal, quiet tenet of not letting a job define who you are. I feel that we’re all much more than what we do when we exchnge our time for money. But, if I’m being honest about it, most of us have to work something like 40 hours per week doing the things that we do with our time in exchange for money. And if you’re unfulfilled when you’re burning that time, then you really should find something else. I feel strongly that time is our greatest asset. There really isn’t a whole lot of it when you think about it.
Anyway, I guess I wanted to document how I felt this morning. The Sunday before I guess the holidays are really over. The last weekend before we’re well into January, girls go back to school, work gets back into full swing, and things get back to “normal,” until the next time. I think I’m guity of not taking pause and sitting in the moment when the moment is good. I tend to get caught up when things aren’t going well, or when things aren’t going the way I’d planned or, even better, the way I’d like them. And I have to remember that I can only control what I can. And, as mom used to tell me, it takes your bad days to know what your good ones are.
Here are some photos from what think were some good times this past year.