I don’t write rhymes, I write checks

We woke up this morning to a downpour of rain that has been absent for months. I rose from bed, checked my armor and readied thyself to defend thy wife and I against the drasted IRS. I have a Seinfeldian method in which I store and file all of our tax forms. I went into the office and retreived said documents from 2004 and 2005.

I thought this year I would try my unmatched math skills, harness the accountant within and prepare our own taxes by means of TaxCut.com.

I was quickly reminded of why I leave the tax preparation to the tax preparation professionals.

I was cruising quite nicely through our tax preparation. W2 information was as easy as transposing the numbers from boxes 1-12 into the appropriate TaxCut fields. It wasn’t until I got to our investments when I quickly realized that I was doomed for defeat.

TaxCut: “Please find Article II Box 7b next to the hieroglyphic cave drawing of Nefertiti’s left ankle. Input Schedule C Realized Dividend Earnings Section 7c from Form 1099-B or 1099-DIV”

Josh: “YES”

TaxCut: “Is this an Unrealized Gain in a State other than your own or a Foreign Tax Paid?”

Josh: “Yellow”

TaxCut: Please input your Aggregate profit or loss, Capitalized Interest or CUSIP No. from Form 1099-OID Line 3 plus noncash distributions.

Josh: “Huh huh. You said ‘distributions'”

TaxCut: “You don’t know what you’re doing, do you?”

Josh: “6”

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