Author: Josh

Yesterday Elise and I woke early to do our planned running around. We didn’t get out of the apartment until 10 a.m. Elise said that we could have left earlier had I let her sleep longer. I guess that means she gets ready slower when it’s against her will…

Our first stop was at the 2002 Tablerock Fantasy Faire in Salado. Elise and I have never experienced a festival or faire that is Renaissance in nature. I have to hand it to the vendors, players and enthusiasts – they have quite an imagination. This particular faire was relatively small. We took a walk through the fair grounds, sat and listened to Medieval war poetry by Sholo the Nubian, Warrior Racantoure and spoke with a sword vendor who looked exactly like Mulder.

After being mocked for being outsiders and due to the fact that there wasn’t a single vendor selling turkey legs, we decided to leave.

We stopped in Round Rock to eat at Rudy’s. Man, I love that place. A year ago to the day we were eating Rudy’s BBQ at our rehearsal dinner.

We drove to Austin to pick up more wedding photos at Holland Photo. We stayed in the store to look at all of our new prints. One roll was developed improperly. This particular roll was shot on 400 ASA film and was to be push processed to 3200. Don’t ask me what that means. I asked Elise to explain this processing technique. She told me. I heard her. I tried really hard to understand. It didn’t work. The prints from this one roll of film were really washed out. You can barely tell what you’re looking at in the photos.

We took the roll back to the counter and told one of the employees that one of our rolls of film wasn’t processed correctly. We were told that he couldn’t do anything but we could come back at 4 p.m. to talk to a manager.

We killed some time by driving over to St. Ed’s to scope out the new eye sore called the Academic Building. Despite the fact that this building is butt ugly, it’s good to know that the campus is being brought into the 21st century. St. Ed’s has all kinds of buildings in the infantile stages of construction. I just wish that my [parents’] money could have allowed for me to utilize some of the upcoming facilities.

We took pictures of ourselves in front of the Main Building and by the little staircase waterfall behind the Main Building.

Then we went back to Holland Photo to discuss our picture problem with the manager. Without getting into great detail, we were basically told that we were wrong. Holland Photo sends black and white negatives to another company, across the street, to be developed. We were told that this company would inform Holland Photo if there was a screw up. There was no screw up notification. That is what was offered to us.

Anyway, among the six rolls that were developed, one of them contained black and white shots that Elise took when we were in Austin for the Republic of Texas Rally & Races. My Photoshopping doesn’t do the prints justice. They are all really awesome images.

Elise created a triptych of one patriotic-themed custom bike. I really like how the sequence turned out. I like to look at the series as a contemporary tribute to Captain America’s motorcycle.

Some of Elise’s Motoproject photos can be seen here. I really want to get them enlarged, framed and hang them in my office once we get a house.

In other news… today is our anniversary. We slept in this morning. Elise went to church and I’ve been goofing on the computer. I don’t know what we’ll do tonight to celebrate our first year. I think we’ll probably just go grab a nice dinner and just take it easy.

Here is a story [verbatim] that I wrote about my dog, Beau in the eighth grade. Beau was the best dog in the whole world – I miss him.

It was a t-shirt kind of day when I let my dogs out to play and run around.

It was about an hour after I let them out. My old, small Beagle Tinker returned shortly after I called for them. When she returned, I decided to run around. I came back, and my young, black Labrador came back. I knew my golden Labrador would return with Lady, my black dog, but he didn’t. I knew something was going on. I crossed the barbed wire fence slowly over the top slightly cutting my leg. I got onto the other peoples property and walked at least for a 4th of a mile and started getting mad at my dog. Usually he comes when I call, and he always obeys me. He is my most loyal friend. Finally I say him running in my direction, I was walking furiously along the truck cleared path with trees covering the top. He was running toward me, and I was strutting toward him ready to beat him..but I got to looking around and noticed how much fun it would be to go searching through the woods with my dog Beau, who was still running toward me. So a smile came to my face as I walked toward him. I crossed a puddle carefully, and while I was standing in the middle of the mud, I say Beau collapse before my eyes. His chest as sinking in fast, and he was breathing abnormally fast. His tongue was hanging out more than usual with dirt and leaves on it. I screamed and cussed, I couldn’t to loud because I was crying so much: I knew he was going to die. I was fixing to run back for help. Beau tried to get up to follow me, he was dragging his back legs and fell to his side in pain. Not knowing, I pumped his stomach thinking he was choking. I tried to rip down a vine out of a tree: it wouldn’t come down. I reached under him carefully, begging him not to die. I lifted him with a violent yell and started walking quickly with him in my arms. I crossed the puddle to fast, slipped and almost fell. I started walking faster.

Even though my adrenaline was going so much I had to stop many times and let Beau down so we both could rest, and I could regain my strength. Beau’s breathing slowed down a little, but I knew I still had to hurry.

Finally, after about a half a mile of walking, I saw my Beagle Tinker, pined in the barn looking at me with Beau in my arms. Tinker knew something was wrong. I sat Beau down beside the barn next to our house.

I ran to the house almost hurdling our wooden fence. I opened the door, caught, and screamed “Mom, Dad, something’s wrong with Beau!” I slammed the door fast hearing “David, Hurry!” which was my Mother telling my Dad.

My parents came sprinting out’ I was kneeling next to Beau telling him to keep fighting. My parents came to where I was, and my Mom cried mournfully “oh God he’s dying.” My Dad said he was going to get the truck so I dragged Beau away from its path. My Mother got in the truck in the middle, and I sat next to the window with Beau’s head in my lap. We drove about ten miles to the vet and we rushed Beau in. They gave him shots to help him stabilize.

Beau’s temperature was 105 degrees so they put him in a bathtub and began to cool him down. The veterinarian let him sit in the tub and gave him a few more shots. Beau started shivering so we helped put him on a counter and wrapped him in towels to get him at normal temperature.

The vet and my parents were talking, I said to Beau, “You’re going to be all right”. I stepped back almost falling over because of dizziness and exhaustion, I rested against a counter for a while.

My Dad came over and said, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

May 1990 By Josh Janicek

It’s early Saturday morning. Elise is in the shower. We’re going to go to the Rennaisance festival in Salado today.

I was going through some old emails… here’s some Valentine’s Day videos that I shot for my friend Whitney.

“I see a red door and I want it painted black,
No colors anymore I want them to turn black.
I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes,
I have to turn my head until my darkness goes.”
– Rolling Stones

Your humble narrator gets back scratches tonight. After grabbing a couple burgers for dinner tonight, El and I stopped to fill up the Trooper with a little petro. While yours truly was pumping, Elise quietly chimes “I see a mirror and I want it painted black…”

My head tilts and I ask politely “What tune do you have there?”

“Paint it Black”

“… It’s red door. ‘I see a red door and I want it painted black’…” I retort.

“No it’s not… It’s mirror. ‘I see a mirror and I want it painted black.’ Wanna bet? Back scratches?” She rebuttals.

“Okay.” Said me. I grinned on the inside.

We got home. I honestly forgot about the bet as I had scooped up a recent copy of the Thrifty Nickel and had begun reading. Elise slipped into the office to do something on her computer. She came into the living room shortly after and announced “My life has just been completely changed… I honestly thought it was ‘I see a mirror and I want it painted black.'”

That’s okay though – I was always the guy who thought AC/DC was singing “Thirty three and the Thunder Chief“

I get back scratches tonight. Goodnight.

Luckily the workday named Friday was sucked into the violent black hole of weekend haste, making it fly by. I recruited my friend, Luciana to donate blood early in the afternoon. I walked to the Blood Bank with her and acted as coach. I neglected to tell her about the finger stick that checks for iron levels in the blood. She was mad at me. I stood there as the phlebotomist told her that her veins were really thin and that they might not be able to hit one on the first try. She glared at me again. Hey, it’s not my fault that she was constructed with narrow plumbing!

Luciana was nervous as they swabbed her arm with iodine. I talked to her about her and her husband’s upcoming weekend trip to Austin to keep her mind off of the needle that was about to jab her. Pop! Needle went in, she squinted her eyes and the blood went racing through the tube and into the bag. All went well – they were able to draw blood on the first try.

After they drew a pint, Luciana decided to watch as the needle was extracted. Again, for whatever reason, I was in trouble. I guess I was supposed to tell her that they used a 16-gauge needle to draw blood. Her eyes were the size of dinner plates when she saw the needle. She started pivoting her ankles and said “Eeeewww!” I laughed and told her that the hard part was over.

Luciana, David and I went to Applebee’s for lunch after the bloodletting. I don’t know why I let myself eat at Applebee’s. I hate that place. The funny thing was, it was my recommendation. The three of us “new kids” have lunch together once a week or so. Usually we get into either David or Luciana’s car and start driving before we decide where we’re going. There have been a few times when we spent half of our lunch hour driving around trying to figure out where we want to go. This time I just spoke up and said “Applebee’s”. I’m retarded.

David had the Chicken Fried Steak. Luciana had the half order Oriental Chicken Salad. I had the Garlic-Crusted Shrimp Caesar Salad. David’s lunch looked good. Luciana received a small plate of soggy chow mien noodles. I got the big platter of iceberg lettuce, sour mayonnaise and frozen, prepackaged seafood byproduct. I didn’t taste any garlic. It was pretty gross. My ‘shrimp’ tasted like it was dredged in the same batter that David’s CFS came from. I was hungry though, so I ate most of it.

The rest of the day flew by.

Elise and I got home around the same time. I ate a leftover chicken fried steak, inspired by David’s lunch, that I had made on Thursday. I can guarantee my CFS is better than Applebee’s. El ate leftover tacos. We ran to our local video store and rented Blade II. I really liked that movie. Cool makeup and special effects sequences. The DVD came with a separate ‘making of’ disk that was just as good as the movie. Reaper vampires rule.

I woke up early on Saturday and gave the trusty Shadow a thorough cleaning. I probably spent half an hour on the back wheel alone. After having been rained on all the way to Austin last weekend, I had accumulated quite a bit of road sludge and chain slingings. I rode over to the video store to return Blade II and to Supercuts to get my ears lowered.

It was getting hot outside when I got home, so I laid in bed, tried to nap and watch Jaws. I couldn’t fall asleep so I got up and set up our Intranet home page. An Intranet home page is pretty pointless when you have a network neighborhood icon on your desktop. Oh well… I just wanted to test out Windows 98SE Personal Website Server. That killed a good hour. While doing my preliminary research, I thumbed through my file cabinet in search of my router’s documentation. I found a ‘web guide’ for my old US Robotics 56.6k modem. I read up on all of the new and improved features for Microsoft’s Internet Explorer 2.0. Wow! This browser supported tables and frames. It’s funny to see how browsers have evolved.

Elise and I left Temple around 5 p.m. for Sallie Mae’s employee picnic at Reunion Ranch, just south of Georgetown. We arrived just in time to grab a couple free beers and our fajita dinners. I opted for the beef fajitas. The meat was from either a shoulder or leg roast. I’m used to fajitas from a skirt steak. Dinner was much like any other banquet-type fare – bland to ensure satisfaction majora.

We stayed long enough to see if we won anything in the raffle. No winnings for the Janicek’s. El and I both pointed out that we’ve never won anything. Wait… I take that back. I think I won concert tickets one time from a radio station. If I remember correctly, it wasn’t a big event – perhaps some local band that played when we were living in Austin. Then again, I could just be trying to convince myself that I’ve won something before.

Sallie Mae gave away some nice prizes: PS2’s, Xbox’s, DVD players, stereos, TV’s, camcorders, cash. I kept thinking eBay, should we have won. Well, Elise would have won, so the prize’s fate would have been up to her. We didn’t stay long enough to see what the grand prize was.

I met a couple people that Elise works with. There was one girl and her husband that Elise really wanted me to meet. We never found them. We did chat with a girl with whom El works with and her family of four. The father/husband was wearing some really weird, brown contact lenses. I guess that’s a good way to make sure someone looks you in the eyes when you’re talking to them. I always thought it would be cool to get solid white contact lenses – you know, so it would look like you had ping pong balls for glazzies.

We left Reunion Ranch just shy of 9 p.m. and headed to Austin. We had to swing by Texture to pick up your humble narrator’s debit card. We left it there last Saturday night while out with Philip. Luckily we arrived early enough to beat the soon-so-be intoxicated masses on 6th Street. Texture doesn’t open until 10 p.m. Luckily I tried the door and it opened. I found the manager and got my debit card back.

We then headed to Tommy’s to watch the Oscar De La Hoya vs. Fernando Vargas fight on the 47″ wide screen. Tommy’s new TV is great and all, but after 26.8 years of watching television in a 4:3 aspect ratio, everyone looked really short. I guess when the 16:9 aspect ratio becomes mainstay, it’ll be easier to adjust.

This was a great fight. I’m not that much of a boxing fan, mainly because I’m partial to the martial arts. Just think of the havoc if these brutes used their legs. Anyway, I guess that’s why boxing and martial arts exist separate from one another.

I was going for De La Hoya. I didn’t voice my vote because, well, I usually don’t if nobody asks. Nobody asked so I smiled when De La Hoya pummeled Vargas in the 12th round. They both beat the crap out of each other. I don’t remember what weight class Vargas and De La Hoya are in, but I like watching the smaller guys fight because they don’t hug each other after each punch thrown. They bounced around and traded licks for the full 12 rounds. I also wanted De La Hoya to win because he’s always stood out to me as the ‘good guy’, plus, Fernando Vargas has really bad hair. Vargas was cocky throughout the whole fight. De La Hoya let loose in the 12th, nailed Vargas into the corner and the referee stopped the fight. It was exhilarating, for lack of a better word.

We left Tommy’s in the wee hours of the morning to head back to bustling Temple. In the car, Elise asked me what the date was. I told her “September 15th”. She asked if I knew what today was. I engaged myself in a frantic inner monologue, queried my random access cranial database and came up with nothing. I knew it wasn’t our anniversary – that’s on the 22nd. I was ready to get myself into trouble for not remembering some significant relationship milestone. I was reminded that on September 15th, four years ago, Elise and I had our first date.

Girls remember that sort of thing. The only reason I [should have] remembered that date is because we tried to have our wedding on that very date. It was also our boyfriend-girlfriend anniversary. We couldn’t have our wedding on September 15th because someone else had already reserved our [El’s] church. So, we opted for the following Saturday.

I first met Elise in 1997 in the Saint Edward’s photo lab. I was but a Photo II student, trying to break free of my Computer Science major that I was doing extremely poorly in. Elise was a photo lab monitor. I fell in love with her when I first laid eyes on her. I don’t remember exactly what she was wearing that day – all I remember is that she had a bandana in her hair and my mind was set on finding a way to flirt and eventually ask her out.

I rearranged my lab schedule so I could be sure to be doing my photo work during the hours in which Elise was lab monitor. I was never the outgoing, “hey, give me your phone number” type guy. Like clockwork, there was a reciprocating element of flirting that ensued. The indirect flirting began by telling jokes in the company of my classmates in the gang room while developing pictures. Eventually Elise and I started talking more one on one as the semester progressed. I never asked her out. I thought she was too cute to not be one of the most popular girls on campus. I was intimidated by my thoughts that she already had a boyfriend, or had dates lined up for the rest of her college tenure.

Yours truly was, at the time, stuck in a dead-end relationship. Elise was very much desired but I guess I settled for the comfort and past I had with dead-end friend. I guess I was afraid to take the risk and just ask Elise out on a date. I’ve never really dated before – you know, played the field. It seems like I always just had a girlfriend.

On the ride back from Tommy’s house on Sunday morning, I told Elise that I owe a lot to a girl named Traysie. Around the time that I first me Elise, I went out on a ‘double date’ with some college friends and dead-end friend. Brent and I were big into playing pool at the time. He and I put our quarters up on a table at Fat Tuesday’s, a 6th Street bar that we frequented. We were waiting on two girls of the same age to finish their game. The two girls decided that Brent and I had to play them for the table.

Well, Brent and I won the game – and to make a long story short, I won the girl. The two girls we played pool with were Traysie and Darian. I flirted with Traysie and she flirted back. I was doing this in the company of dead-end friend. Even as tears were shed before leaving the bar, I slipped Traysie my phone number with the old handshake trick.

Traysie called me the next day. She and Darian were from Dallas and in town for the weekend. Brent and I went and had dinner with them at Carlos and Charlie’s on the lake. Because of my failure to ask Elise out and the realization that I was in a bad relationship, I finally decided to take the risk with Traysie. That ‘date’ finally started the end of my sentence with dead-end friend.

Traysie and I didn’t last very long. A few months maybe. I forgot how that one ended – I don’t really care to remember. She was really annoying. Despite that, she was the reason I finally broke all ties with dead-end friend.

For the first time, ever since the hair on my legs started getting longer and darker and my voice started cracking, I was a bachelor. My parents were nice enough to let me live in a one-bedroom apartment. I was truly a bachelor. I was happy. I met a lot of the friends that I still have to this day. We did stupid bachelor things and I enjoyed the time being a single man and hanging out with other guys.

I started working hard at the country club, made some decent money, figured out what I wanted to do in school and my grades started to improve. I was genuinely happy.

The Fall semester started. Elise Boeckman and I were in the same Digital Imaging class. Whoa boy! I was happy being single, but Elise was the girl of my dreams. I couldn’t believe we were in the same class together!

El and I recently discussed fate, soul mates and being in the right place at the right time. I think that what I’m about to tell you is a combination of all three. I soon found out that Elise was the new person who moved into the apartment right below me.

At the time, I wasn’t 100% sure that she was the one who did, in fact, move in to apartment #410. Not wanting to pass up this opportunity, I did an email directory search on the St. Edward’s mail server. I emailed Elise to remind her of who I was and to ask if she lived in the Bristol Square apartments.

A few days later, I received a response. It was her. She lived below me. For yours truly, life was taking a turn for the better.

On the same day that I received Elise’s email response, James and I were going to Radio Shack for a little cell phone service. Elise was coming home from a day at school. We passed in the parking lot. I introduced James and Elise. Without hesitation, I asked Elise if she would like to accompany me to the Tavern for drinks with some of my coworkers later that evening. She said yes.

The rest, as they say, is history. Elise showed up at the Tavern and came upstairs to find me and my coworkers. I immediately forfeited my game of pool and spent the remaining hours sitting on a bar stool in front of the Spy Hunter arcade game next to the girl of my dreams. We talked about everything that night. For some reason, I knew that when she showed up, I wasn’t going to ever let her go.

That was September 15th. We’ve been together ever since – me and the girl of my dreams. Even though we lay side by side every night, I still dream about her. Every morning I look at her and try to fathom what I did to deserve a lifetime with such a wonderful person. I have to do this carefully though, I wouldn’t want to wake her with one of my eye boogers falling and hitting her on the forehead.

Elise recently told me that I was a good provider, that she would follow me anywhere and that she just wants me to be happy. All of this was really hard to swallow. It’s a quite a reality check to hear that from the one you love – it’s also very flattering. Everything that I do, I do with El in mind. I love her so much that I don’t want her to have to ever endure any pain or worry. I know that’s impossible, but that’s one of my “no matter whats”. I want Elise to be the happiest person in the world, no matter what. She’s too beautiful to not be.

Four years with Elise have flown by and there are only days until our first wedding anniversary. I’m happy. I’ve never been more happy.

This is terrific! This is what everyone needs! It’s quick. It’s compact. It’s for the intelligent consumer who’s on the go! Introducing the new Discover 2GO Card. Look at all of its awesome features: the Key Chain Option, Protective Case and Removable Clip. Notice they don’t show you the flip side of this convenient purchasing power tool? That’s because the people at Discover want to hide the little red stress button. The button that, once pressed, immediately destroys your financial independence and well-being.

I’ve seen the television commercials for this new card a couple times now. Everyone is smiling – of course they are – Discover wants you to think that their credit card will give you freedom and happiness.

The man at the counter at the retailer is smiling because he has a cool new 2GO card. Meanwhile, his little boy is waiting in the car in the parking lot, unbeknownst that he won’t be able to get braces or go to the college of his choice.

Uggghhhh! Why don’t they just make credit cards that come in your choice of grape, watermelon, cherry and lime flavors and hand them out to sixth graders? Hell, while we’re at it, why don’t they just go ahead and lace the ‘Protective Case’ with skin-permeable crack-cocaine?

Want to be a true American? You can opt for a regular Discover Platinum card with an American flag on it. Be a patriot, put yourself in unmanageable debt by financing your lunch, your gasoline, your clothes. Pay off one of your other credit cards with a variable interest rate and annual ‘exclusive’ membership fees.

One of my best friends was burned by the smiling people at Discover. He got a Discover card in his early 20’s. He couldn’t make the monthly minimum amount due. He had to dodge phone calls from creditors and started throwing all of his mail away without reading it. He eventually needed a vehicle. Some shark was able to get my friend a loan. I think this used truck had a sticker price of six or seven thousand dollars. Had it not been repossessed, I think it would have cost him nearly twenty thousand dollars with late fees and sky high interest rates.

That’s obviously bad money management on the part of my friend, but Discover was kind enough to step up in the beginning and show him the way to financial misery. Now he’s married, has two kids and another on the way. I really hope things work out.

I’d like to go back to school and get a degree in finance and become a teacher. I would love to teach high school kids about credit and money. That would be a awesome job.

Ouch — My arm really hurts. I donated blood this afternoon and for some reason, my right arm is really sore. If I donate one more time, I get a paid day off.

I learned how they determine your red blood percentage. That was pretty cool. The phlebotomist pricked my finger and sucked the blood into that little tube. While she was taking my blood pressure, she put my little tube into a centrifuge where the blood cells and plasma were separated. She pulled the tube from the centrifuge and showed me how my blood was separated. Pretty cool. Then she measured my blood cell to plasma ratio. I scored a 44%. You have to have at least 38% to donate.

While pumping my body wine into a bag , Mindi came and talked to me. I noticed a girl in a chair next to me. She was laying next to all kinds of cool machines. I asked Mindi what was going on over there. She told me that that girl was donating platelets – then she looked at me and did the ol’ forefinger, middle finger and thumb hand motion. You know – the one that indicates cash money. “So you stick me, give me a Little Debbie, some colored sugar water and send me on my way while this chick is sitting over there getting paid?!?!”

Mindi told me if I donate one more time, she’ll move me over to platelet donation and I can milk the cash cow too. Betty, the lady who always takes my blood, frowned and said: “Then we’ll be losing one of our regular donors!” I guess platelets go somewhere else… I don’t know. Mindi, after you read this, why don’t you comment and explain. I’ll probably just stick to plain old whole blood donations if that’s what’s needed.

I don’t need any sort of cash incentive to help out. I’d rather help out by donating what they need the most. Besides, having a friend in the Blood Center has its rewards. Right as I walk into their office, I get pinned with ribbons and buttons and stickers. I get a donor t-shirt thrown over my shoulder and get to keep the little squishy thing they give me to squeeze while I donate. I left today and looked like a kindergartener on his way home from school – strutting through the hospital, adorned with my hero sticker on my shirt, pin on my lapel, donor shirt in one hand, squishy squeezy thing in the other hand, Kool Aid mustache and Moon Pie stuck to my face. All I needed was a finger painting and a mobile made out of popsicle sticks and elbow macaroni.

Elise and I had a really great time this past weekend. It started out with Elise driving me to Killeen on Friday evening to see where she works. We then drove up and down the main highway trying to find a place to have our Friday night date. We settled on the Outback Steakhouse. El had the grilled barbeque chicken and ribs. I had the rack of lamb. El had a beer, I drank a couple pansy drinks with a straw.

We went home and Elise watched me play Time Crisis 2 on the PS2. I borrowed that game, plus a couple others from our next door neighbors to whom we finally introduced ourselves. We went to bed pretty early. Saturday was a big day.

We got up at 7 a.m. on Saturday, showered, etc. and headed to Austin. I had an appointment to have the trusty Shadow checked out at 10 a.m. It rained. For 60 + miles, your humble narrator got dumped on and sprayed by 18-wheelers. Oh well. People always ask: “What happens when it’s cold and rainy?” I get cold and wet.

We dropped the bike off and looked around the new showroom at Wood’s Fun Center. Nothing fancy, just a bigger showroom. I did sit on a Honda RC51… nice!

After leaving Wood’s, we cruised over to Holland Photo to get some more of our wedding pictures developed. Yeppers… it’s been almost a year and we still have 15 + rolls of film to have developed.

Lunchtime! We headed over to Katz’s Deli for sandwiches. Elise had the corned beef and pastrami. I had the Reuben. We always do this: we both order an entree and then realize that we ordered too much. Eventually we’ll learn… order one meal and save some money.

Then we went window shopping. We went to Toy Joy on the Drag, then to a consignment shop where I was completely outnumbered by braless, patchouli wearing women. Ugghhh. Toy Joy was awesome. They had every knick-knack and tiddlywink you could imagine.

After all of our running around, it was time to pick up the Shadow. Then it was off to Philip’s. After watching a little MTV2 and engaging chit-chat, we decided we wanted frozen daiquiris. We went to the liquor store and to HEB to purchase an ice-crushing blender.

We went back to Philip’s apartment and made the heat quenching refreshments. We sat on the patio and shot the breeze for a couple hours. Philip had to run to a friend’s house and Elise decided she wanted to go back to HEB to get something for dinner. I stayed at Philip’s and racked my brain trying to figure out his remote controls to the TV, DVD player and the stereo.

Do you ever get those annoying messages on your answering machine?

“Hi, this is Bobby. We have your tickets to Las Vegas ready and waiting. Call me directly at 1-877-123-3245 before 10 p.m. with confirmation code #49235 to claim your tickets.” pthththbbbhtht. Stupid money sucking time share.

Scam right? I would hope most people would know to just delete those messages. Living in an apartment, you’re cursed with receiving those phone calls for the rest of your apartment dwelling life. Some stupid, prior resident who had the same phone number thought that she would actually win the Land Cruiser that was parked in the middle of the mall. She put her phone number and address on the little slip and dropped it in the box. Not only did she involuntarily [because she didn’t bother to read the back of the card with a magnifying glass] change her long distance phone provider, but she sold her soul to the marketing devil. I’ve accepted that. I don’t answer phone calls that show up as ‘unavailable’ on caller ID. I hate unsolicited advertising, but what can you do about it?

I used to have fun with telemarketers. In our automated society, you don’t even get to talk to a human telemarketer anymore – you get a recording. Even the sales industry is getting lazy. It’s not even worth it to answer the phone. Every time I decide to answer an ‘unavailable’ call, I always hear that infamous “click”, then the phone goes dead. Call me a conspiracy theorist, but I assume that that click is to log a valid phone number so I can be subject to more solicitation.

I went home for lunch yesterday and the answering machine was blinking. Nobody calls us during the day because all of our friends and relatives know that we have daytime jobs. I knew what I was going to hear when I hit play.

I was actually pretty surprised at what I heard after I listened to the pitch the whole way through. It was some sincere guy speaking on behalf of a particular credit counseling bureau. It wasn’t personalized. It was a recording. I thought to myself: “Wow, that’s really sad. Statistics must show that a credit counseling company can randomly call people and leave messages offering their services to help consumers get out of debt.” I thought about calling the company and saying: “Hey morons, guess what… we’re not slaves – we don’t have a single credit card.” There wouldn’t be any point to doing that. Maybe our phone number was once owned by someone else who had some financial difficulties and was flagged by creditors, hence this annoying message.

I think that it’s safe for the companies to call every American and offer their get out of debt scam. There’s more people than I would like to imagine that are stuck with credit card debt. Thinking about it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Look at all of the TV ads and the online pop up ads. “Get Out of Debt for FREE!!!” We’ve all seen them. What’s really sad is that a lot of people that I know make a lot more money than I do – but I bring home more. I put more into savings. It’s not a whole lot that I can put back, but at least I find comfort in doing what little I can. I save money on ink. I don’t have to write three separate checks a month to Visa, Mastercard and Discover. Woooo… Dillard’s is having a SALE this weekend, I’m whipping out the Gold Card. After paying interest on a shirt and a belt, you might as well have paid full retail. I’ll take my fist full of dead presidents to Walmart or the Salvation Army and avoid the blinded consumer mass.

Anyway, we have debts. Luckily our two debts are considered “good” debts. Regardless, I don’t like being in any kind of debt. Credit cards are the worst. “But you need a credit card to rent a car or make airline or hotel reservations.” Wrong. If a company won’t take my debit card, then they lost a good cash paying customer. Case in point: When Elise and I went to rent the Harley Davidson a couple weekends ago, they needed a $3000 credit card authorization. This was for insurance purposes. I forgot what option I chose – I think it was the best since I already have my own motorcycle insurance. If I were to damage the bike, my insurance would cover it. I wouldn’t have to pay $3000. I handed ol’ Keith my debit card. My debit card wouldn’t ‘authorize’ $3000. That’s because there’s not a credit limit associated with a debit card. I was fully prepared to either 1) hop behind Keith’s computer, pull up my online bank statement and show him that I had cash available, or 2) say thank you and leave. I told Keith that I only use a debit card. He appreciated my confidence and did an old timey print of my debit card and handed over the keys.

I think credit is a contemporary [and permanent] aspect of life. We’ll eventually have a mortgage. We’ve planned on incurring another car loan. But that’s it. Those are the ones that are considered ‘good’ debts. In our mid term financial calendar, we don’t foresee any other new debts. Unless, of course, we win the lottery. HA! I don’t even want to touch on that. Mr. Ramsey calls the lottery the tax on the poor. We have a really good friend who swears that one day, he will win the lottery. He plays every week. I bite my lip and say: “When you do, would you mind buying me a new motorcycle?” Like clockwork, he retorts: “Sure… how many?… what color?”

I’m glad it’s a short week this week. We’re taking the trusty Shadow into Austin for brake repairs on Saturday morning. Spherion is having a company party in Georgetown. Elise works for a temp agency that is under contract with Spherion. I think it will be fun. I’ll get to meet all of El’s girlfriends from work. I’ve heard enough about them that I feel as if I already know them. It’s always interesting to meet people that you’ve already painted a mental picture of without actually having seen them face to face.

We had our monthly Marketing Communications staff meeting today. I forgot how all of this came about, but there were three of us who started laughing uncontrollably at a very inopportune time. I hate it when that happens, but at the same time, I love it. It wasn’t really a ‘formal’ meeting, but it was still kind of rude for us to be laughing. We were all trying so hard to hide our faces. One of us would eventually emit a little chuckle through the nose and the laughing would start over again. It was great fun. It reminded me of being a carefree kid again.

That reminds me of a time back in the 10th grade. Johnny and I had our English class together. Our teacher was also our Theatre Arts teacher. She was a great lady and an awesome teacher. Unfortunately for us, she had a relatively large mole on her chin. Our classroom was setup in a theatre in the round formation. Johnny and I had been separated early in the year for obvious reasons. We were seated on opposite sides of the classroom, facing each other. One of us would always take a small, circular piece of paper, color it in with a black pen, moisten it and attach it to one of our chins. The other would eventually take notice of this tomfoolery, turn beet red, hold his breath and nearly die of internal laughter. That was great. I really miss stuff like that.

This past weekend was pretty laid back and relatively uneventful for your humble narrator.

On Friday, I rushed home to play on the PS2. I put a big dent in SSX Tricky – unlocking levels and adding tricks to my trick book repertoire. I was really tired from having stayed up late on Thursday, so I went to be pretty early.

I slept until 9 a.m. on Saturday. I got up, charged the Hitachicam’s battery, hopped in the shower, dressed and headed to the post office. I had to mail the Radeon 7000. I’ve become quite the master at transporting awkward objects on my motorcycle. I’m waiting for the day to be pulled over by a cop and hear the words: “Young man, you know it’s not very safe to carry a white tail buck carcass, a mini refrigerator and a domestic cat on this motorcycle.” Hey… there’s an idea, I ought to train Riley to ride the motorcycle with me. I could take him to the Farmer’s Market on Saturdays and charge people to watch him eat Jell-O and green beans. He also likes beer. Bud Light. He doesn’t really like Miller Light, but he’ll drink it if that’s all we have.

Anyway, after mailing off the graphics card, it was off to the Temple Party Drags – emphasis on the Drag. It cost $45 for a weekend pass. They didn’t offer day passes. Luckily I stopped at the bank on the way and pulled $40. The lady dispensing wristbands spotted me the extra $5.

I rode around the ‘campgrounds’ for a while and found a little secluded space to park. I walked around for a bit and checked out the patrons’ motorcycles. After walking around for half an hour or so, I went and sat in the stands to watch the qualifying races. Mullets, do-rags, home-job tattoos and beer drinkers at 10 a.m. The races were fun to watch, but the people watching wasn’t as fun as I had expected. Nothing like the smell of nitrous oxide and burning rubber to start off a Saturday.

Before it got too hot [and because I had no cash], I headed home for some lunch in the air conditioned apartment and some more SSX Tricky. I was told by Temple Party Drags officials that if I got my wristband cut before 7 p.m. on Saturday, I would get a $20 refund. I checked the event itinerary and saw that there was a bikini contest and live music later in the evening.

I headed back to the raceway at 5:30 p.m. I parked in the same spot and made the same rounds. Nothing had changed. There were a few more people, but nothing was going on that was worth my $40. I really didn’t feel like watching bikini girls strut around to Skynyrd cover songs. I left along side many other bikers at 6:30. We all wanted our $20 refund. I figure the actual $20 that I spent was somewhat worth it. It’s good to know that once a year there is a motorcycle event here in bustling Temple. I made my contribution. I guess it would have been more fun if I had some company. Elise was in Minneapolis.

I went by the local Mom and Pop video store and picked up Orange County. I came home, watched that and then “beat” SSX Tricky. I guess you really can’t beat that game, I just unlocked all of the levels and most of the snowboards.

I slept in until around 10 a.m. on Sunday. It was such a great feeling, waking up on Sunday and knowing that I didn’t have to worry about going to work the next day. I don’t think I did anything on Sunday. I went to the store and bought the paper. That was pretty much it. I sat around all day and did nothing. That felt great. Riley and I channel surfed and played with his string toy.

Monday – I pretty much did nothing again. I took a good long walk in the late morning. It was really hot and humid. I guess that’s why I didn’t do much that past two days… it’s just too hot outside. I did cook a really good t-bone that my parents gave me. That was my lonesome Labor Day barbeque – me, the cat and 98 channels. I caught the Red Hot Chili Peppers Backyard BBQ on VH1. I don’t know the specifics, but some girl won a contest and the RHCP performed a private concert at her apartment’s pool.

The Abyss came on at 10 p.m. I forget what channel it was on, but there was no commercials (we have ‘basic plus’ cable – no premium channels). I don’t think I’ve ever seen that movie in its entirety. Good movie. I think I was trying to stay up until Elise got back. She flew from Minneapolis to Dallas and had to drive back to bustling Temple. Her plane didn’t get in until 12 a.m. The drive from Dallas is 2+ hours. I lasted until around 1:30 and had to fall asleep.

I heard the water in the sink running at around 2:30 p.m. I pried my eyes open just as El was coming to bed. She laid her head on my shoulder and I scratched her head. Seems like only moments of sleep-time had passed when both of our alarms were screaming.

El got up and took a shower. I slept until the very last affordable minute. We both roamed around the apartment in our own pathetic ways, bumping into each other with zombie eyes, attempting to start the work week.

Tonight we can pretend like she’s just gotten back. She will tell me all about her exciting weekend in Minneapolis with her friends and I will tell her how Riley and I caught a fuzzy insect in the fireplace.

Talk about starting off a three day weekend on the right foot. I got this email from my Mom late this afternoon:

Date: Fri, 30 Aug 2002 15:47:15 -0500
To: “Josh Janicek”
Did I ever tell you I love you? Well, I’m telling you now. Each day I/we check out your web page, I am either laughing or getting a warm, fuzzy, good feeling and so glad to have you as my son. You have a way of touching people and that’s a good thing. I hope you keep it up and improve on it even more in the future. You are my wonderful son!

By the way, since you will be “out” most of the day Saturday, you should use sun screen and also take a hat to protect you scalp. Your dad and I are paying the price these days for not using hats.

Have fun…

I love my parents.

Sometimes I kill me. I just called our apartment complex leasing office to put in a work order…

Angel: “Good morning, Bridge Apartments, this is Angel, how can I help you?”

Josh: “Hi Angel, this is Josh Janicek in 1326 – my wife said that there was a real bad smell coming from the bathroom.”

I paused after I realized what I had just said.

Angel: “Ooooookay”

Josh: “Yeah, something really stinks in the vanity – seems like it’s coming from the air conditioning vent.”

Anyway – I thought that was funny. Okay, I’m retarded.

On another note… You want to know what my favorite thing in the whole wide world is? Riding my motorcycle first thing in the morning. Even if I know I’m going to work [don’t get me wrong… I love where I work… I love the people I work with… I work at the best place in the whole world…], I take that ten minute ride and cherish it. Cool summer mornings, fresh air, birds chirping, the smell of grass (and the smell of Vap-o-Rub emanating from the 20′ Buick in front of me, driven by ol’ buns ‘n’ knuckles on her way to the Golden Corral). Nothing beats it. It’s quiet, it’s peaceful, it’s a good time to meditate.

I’ve decided that when we retire, I want to move to a warm coastal city. I don’t care if it’s in California, Florida, Hawaii, Australia… wherever. I want to wake up first thing in the morning, everyday, and ride my motorcycle. I’ll ride it along the coast and yell at seagulls. I’ll take deep breaths and be thankful that I’m alive. I will stop at some deli or cafe and eat a piece of fruit on the patio. I will get there around the same time everyday. All of the other regulars will hear me coming from miles away and say, here comes Ol’ Josh and that motorcycle. I’ll wear canvas shorts and a t-shirt. I will ride home and sing songs to myself. I will wake Elise up and make her breakfast. We will play golf. I will get mad because I will probably never become good at golf and Elise will tell me that she loves me anyway.

Our children will come to visit us multiple times a year. My sons and I will take long coastal rides and I will show them where I had my adventures that are yet to happen…

That will be nice.

Aye aye aye… mis ojos rojos. I stayed up until 1:30 this a.m. playing Twisted Metal Black and SSX Tricky. Usually I go to bed around 11 p.m…. I DID NOT want to get out of bed this morning.

Elise scooped me up around six and we went to HEB to return some waffle syrup (got a whopping $1.15 back) and then we were off to Walmart to get the PS2. I was like me (aka a kid) in a candy store. We picked up the Playstation and TMB and made it home just in time for Elise to watch Friends. I took my time running the wires behind the entertainment center and pretended like I was reading the owner’s manual – just waiting for 7:30 (Friends over).

7:30 p.m. – 1:30 a.m. – mostly SSX Tricky. Six hours of thumb numbing gaming. I’m to the point where I can almost say I think I know what I’m doing, but still suck. Badly. Must practice. Must spend many, many more hours in front of TV. Good ol’ John was supposed to send me a memory card so I could save games and character profiles… guess I’ll have to swing by Walmart on the way home from work.

Elise is leaving for Minnesota today to spend the long weekend with friends. I will be reclusive all weekend and engaged in virtual snowboarding and vehicular mayhem. I am going to peel my butt off the couch for most of Saturday to attend the 24th annual Temple Party Drags – no, not cross-dressers on scooters. Super-charged, nitrous-boosted Harley Davidsons. I think I’ll take the 8mm Hitachicam to film some of the action. Maybe I’ll produce a good video and send it to whoever organizes this event and the website and get a little publicity.

In other news… I lied, I didn’t play the PS2 for six straight hours. I flipped the channel over to MTV last night to catch part of the Video Music Awards for five minutes or so. Stupid. I must be getting old. The Hives?… I mean, come on! I did make note that I’m really glad that there wasn’t an abundance of ‘rock’ bands accompanied by scratchin’ DJs. Why does MTV have VMAs? MTV doesn’t play videos. Shouldn’t they have The Real World Awards? Or the I’m a White Gangsta Wannabe High School Student – Watch Me Grope this 17-year-old Girl’s Leg in the Club and Go Home and Cry About It Awards? Eminem did win a few awards from what I gathered on the news. I did see him accept one of his awards – he was bood. Good. Now he’ll be more pissed off next year, make an even better album and make it a point to offend even more.