Author: Josh

Just got back from a meeting where we reviewed our department’s employee satisfaction survey. Very, very, very sad. Not that I’m saying anything bad about where I work. I love where I work… I love the people I work with… I work at the best place in the whole world… I can’t say anything negative about where I work because I wouldn’t want to give the institution a bad name. I’ve already gotten in trouble for that. I really can’t say what was revealed by the survey, I’ll just say that it was really bad.

We had a nice but short weekend. We had to wake up early on Friday so I could drive Elise to work and then take Annie to the vet for spaying. I picked Annie up after work and brought her home. I let her out of the cat carrier so she could get something to eat or go hide under the bed so she could recuperate. I played a little PS2 and watched some TV.

Elise agreed to shoot another wedding on Saturday. She attended the rehearsal in Killeen after work on Friday. I picked her up around 8. We came home, I cooked pizza, we watched a movie and went to bed.

We woke up early on Saturday. I drove around looking for a garage sale that didn’t exist. I opened all the windows in the apartment as the weather was so nice. The afternoon flew by and we had to start getting ready for the wedding.

We had to be at Ft. Hood by 2:30 so Elise could be prepared to take pictures. Elise’s coworker, Daviann was the bride. Just before we had the Trooper inspected at the gate of Ft. Hood, Elise realized that she had forgotten her flash. I raised holy hell as I agreed to drive back to Temple to get her flash for her. I was really mad. Half way home I realized that I would miss out on the ceremony. I figured that that wasn’t too bad. My mood changed for the better.

I got back to Ft. Hood just in time to catch Elise taking pictures of the bride and groom outside of the church. We drove to the Officers’ Club where the reception was held. Though small, the reception was nice. The food was good and everyone we met was friendly.

After Elise took all of the necessary pictures, she allowed herself to have a little fun. I had the DJ play ‘our song’ and we danced. We talked about the both of us getting more serious about wedding photography. I have a few college hours of photography under my belt and would be more than willing to act as my wife’s [paid] assistant. We have some really good ideas – stuff we need to work on.

Prior to getting ready for the wedding, we needed to fish Annie out from underneath the bed and administer her pain medication. She really didn’t like having a pill shoved down her throat. She illustrated her discontent by walking out onto the balcony and jumping off the edge. She hasn’t come back. I saw her last night standing next to my motorcycle, but then ran off.

The weekend before last I paid over $100 in vet bills. This past Friday I paid $90+ in vet bills. I think the cat got the better deal. She doesn’t really like humans, so she made the escape. I’m mad because we spent $200 on her, Elise is mad at me because I never really liked the cat. Oh well, maybe she’ll come back one day.

We picked up the trusty Shadow yesterday. Elise and I went into Austin yesterday morning. We stopped at Rudy’s for lunch and went Jeep shopping. We found a couple that we like. Hopefully we’ll be getting one soon.

I walked to work this morning. I have a drivable motorcycle, but I enjoy the walk to work so much that I’m going to keep walking.

I finally got the trusty Shadow’s front tire fixed. This actually happened on Saturday.

Philip came up on Friday night. We ate at El Chico for dinner and went back to my place and watched Camp Kill Yourself videos.

I woke up at 6:30 a.m. on Saturday and hit a couple garage sales. I scored some junk. I was hoping to make a little money on eBay, but doesn’t look like that’s going to happen. Who knows… I’ve only put one item up for sale thus far.

Elise went to get her haircut at 11. Philip and I loaded my bike onto his truck and headed to Austin. It was raining and cold outside. We looked like a couple monkeys fondling a football while trying to unload my bike at the shop.

$231 later, the Shadow is ready to go. We loaded it back into Philip’s truck [too cold and rainy to ride – plus I didn’t bring my helmet or rain gear] and went to his apartment. We watched Mr. Deeds and I tried to nap on the couch.

We watched UT beat Nebraska, then headed over to Tommy’s. Elise showed up shortly after we arrived. We left Tommy’s around 2 a.m.

Elise and I slept in on Sunday. We ate pizza. We discussed existentialism in general and the orbit patterns of Jupiter’s satellites.

Monday was a typical Monday.

We didn’t vote on Tuesday. I went to HEB halfway into The Bachelor. Elise really needs a new car. The Trooper is making some really funny noises and I’d like to get rid of it before the rear axel falls off. I picked up the recent issue of Auto Trader. There are quite a lot of Jeeps in there. Hopefully we’ll have saved up enough cash in a couple months to make our purchase.

On Wednesday I received an e-mail asking about putting streaming video on the S&W Intranet. Hopefully I’ll get to work on that soon.

This Saturday Elise is photographing another wedding. We need to go to Philip’s to pick up my bike. I’m going to put a For Sale sign on it this weekend. If any one is interested… $3,200 for a black 1998 Honda Shadow VT 750 A.C.E.

I have an e-mail address, spam at janicek dot com. I use that e-mail address whenever I’m required to sign up for something. I used my webmaster account when I took a few certification tests at BrainBench. I think they sold my e-mail address. Oh well…

I really like the P.S. on this peice of finely crafted spam. “Instead of writing us a hateful e-mail requesting that you be taken off our list immediately, just kindly respond and tell us that you never want to hear from us again. In doing so, we’ll send you helpful information on how to make money fast, how to clean up your credit and how to maintain an erection!”

Subject: janicek.com
From: Diane Emmerson
Date: Tue, November 5, 2002 6:47 am
To: webmaster

I discovered janicek.com in Yahoo, my favorite search engine. I am requesting that you create a link from janicek.com to my client’s web site if you feel that their content is in some way related or complements your site. In exchange, I’ll post a link from their site to yours.

Exchanging links will help bring in more business for both your web site and my client’s. An added benefit is increased search engine traffic because the search engines rank sites higher that have a good number of relevant links.

This is not a free-for-all link exchange, I don’t waste my time with them and you shouldn’t either. I am only linking to related web sites so that all my links are relevant to my site.

I would like to send you my client’s web address, so that you can review their site. Home Loan Advisor is a service for consumers who are searching for the ideal mortgage. Consumers are matched up with a local mortgage professional who is an expert in providing the best available mortgage programs.

Please let me know if you are interested in exchanging links. I’ll send you more details once I hear back from you.

Looking forward to your reply.

Sincerely,
Diane Emmerson
[email protected]
http://www.link-builder.com

P.S. If for any reason you don’t want me to contact again, just email me and let me know.

I got out of bed this morning and headed for the bathroom. Upon approaching the loo, I caught my reflection in the vanity mirror. I stopped and gave myself a once over. I examined my profile. I can tell that I’ve lost a little weight.

I’m the sort of person who craves more physical activity once I get the ball a rollin’. For example, every day after I walk home from work, I always want to go back outside and run or lift weights. I don’t have running shoes or weights. I really want some running shoes.

I started thinking about my days at the country club. We had great benefits there. We had the option to receive a discounted membership to World’s Gym. $5 a month. You can’t beat that.

In spite of the great price, I didn’t want a gym membership. I don’t swing on swanky public gyms. Joey, one of my coworkers convinced me to sign up for a gym membership with him. He told me that we would go all the time. I believed him because he looked as if he had done his fair share of bench presses. We never went. We were motivated the first couple weeks, but there was always a conflict in our schedules. I didn’t want to go to the gym by myself because, well, I guess I thought I would embarrass myself.

A lot of other people signed up for gym memberships as well. They never went. I eventually transferred my membership to another coworker.

I’m convinced that most people [your standard, out-of-shape American who means well and would like to improve their overall physical health] purchase gym memberships and never go.

I think I’m going to find the local support group: “Heavy-set and Unmotivated” and offer discounted memberships to Josh’s Jym. I wouldn’t even need to setup shop.

1. Were you raised in a particular religious faith?
No. I went to Sunday School for a little while when I was a wee lad. My parents [both raised Catholic] left me with the choice. I decided that I didn’t like church, so they didn’t make me go. I’m not Baptized.
2. Do you still practice that faith? Why or why not?
Yes – in my own conscious, meditative way. I believe more in science and evolution. I’m agnostic [noncommittal].
3. What do you think happens after death?
I’m not sure. Heaven, Hell, purgatory and reincarnation
4. What is your favorite religious ritual (participating in or just observing)?
Lighting black candles and sacrificing goats? Not dying? Going to church on Christmas eve with Elise because it makes her happy.
5. Do you believe people are basically good?
Unfortunately, yes.

I am Satan personified before approximately 9:30 a.m. on weekdays. I stumble out of bed and mumble profanities while shooting fireballs from my eyes at objects [cats, furniture, carpet] that are in my way. I don’t drink coffee and showers don’t even cool me off. Elise knows to avoid me at all costs before the internal exorcism takes hold.

Today was no exception. I was awakened by the happy voices coming from my alarm radio. I smashed it with my triton and hovered out of bed and onto my feet. As I stumbled to the shower, cats ran and hid. I got dressed and ate breakfast. Elise woke up shortly after and got into the shower. I took a deep breath, contained my demons and peeked my head into the bathroom to ask if Elise if she would do a favor for me before she left for work. As I was leaning into the bathroom, I stepped onto the scale with one foot. *Poof*, the evil was exhumed. I looked down, lifted the other foot onto the scale and noticed that I had lost six pounds.

Walking to work everyday [and watching my calorie intake] has paid off.

In other news, John has accepted a job with the Austin American-Statesman. Jerk. I’m happy for him and Christine. Wouldn’t you know it… after Elise and I move out of Austin, both Philip and John move to Austin. Yarbles! Great bolshy yarblockos!

We were blessed with two very drab days this past weekend. Elise and I had been saving nickels and dimes all week so we could go on a pizza date on Friday. We were both in bad moods on our date. We willfully suspended our sourness, made fun of each other and bought a couple pumpkins and rented Phantasm with our $5 gift certificate from Kevin Smith [shameless plug for the DJ we hired for our wedding reception].

So we went home and I gutted the pumpkins and dehydrated the seeds. Then we watched Phantasm and carved our Jack-o-Lanterns. I’ll try and remember to take pictures of them this week.

A used car salesman’s phone call woke us up shortly after 8:00 a.m. on Saturday. Needless to say, he won’t be getting our business. I hopped out of bed, jumped in the shower and went to get my ears lowered.

I came home and we decided to take Annie to Petco to get her shots. Annie’s our new cat. She adopted us. She’s a cool cat, just a little skittish. We decided that it probably wouldn’t be seen as humane if we brought a pillowcase with a cat in it to a pet store. We drove over to Wal-Mart and bought a cat carrier. Then we drove home to get Annie. Drove to Petco. We missed the vet by a few minutes. We drove back home and Elise called a local vet. Luckily we were able to get an appointment. $100 later, we have a healthy cat.

I think that’s all we did on Saturday. Oops, no. We went to HEB to buy ingredients for chili. I made chili for dinner. We ate chili and flipped channels to watch game six of the World Series, the A&M vs. Nebraska game and the Halloween Marathon on AMC.

On Sunday, we woke up a little before 10:00 a.m. I jumped on the computer to realize that the time had changed. Now it was only 9:00 a.m. Elise went to church at 11. I goofed around on the Inertnet. We went and saw Jackass: The Movie at 1:30. Elise had to turn her head a few times. I engaged in a lot of much needed juvenile laughter. After the past few months that I’ve been having, I needed some sophomoric enlightenment.

I watched the Anaheim Angels win the World Series. I have had absolutely no interest in baseball in nearly twenty years. I was always the kid who was hit by the ball in little league. I don’t know why, but I started watching the World Series at game 4.

1. What is your favorite scary movie?
hmmmm… The Shining. I don’t know.
2. What is your favorite Halloween treat?
Candy corn
3. Do you dress up for Halloween? If so, describe your best Halloween costume.
Not usually.
4. Do you enjoy going to haunted houses or other spooky events?
Yes. I like big production haunted houses. I need to attend more.
5. Will you dress up for Halloween this year?
No. We’re boring. I will when we have kids. Hopefully we’ll have a lot of money by then so I can go hog wild.

• I thought this was pretty neat. It’s a great way to chronicle your age.
• El is from Iowa. I’m a native Texan. She says “pop”, I say “coke”. We’ve accepted this.

  In Texas, most people say “Coke”. But
  overall, most people say “pop”.

• Here’s an interesting game… if you’re into fat
  naked dudes.
• Play with some fridge
  magnets.
• Just sit back and let this human
  clock page refresh itself.
• I’m the ‘adventurous’ type. What’s your personality?
• Be
  the Osbournes in a Sims-like environment.

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I think this is pretty funny.

According to the Box Office Prophet’s 50 Favorite Horror Films, I have 15 good horror movies yet to check out. There are only 10 more days until Halloween. I better get crackin’! Despite the films that I have not yet seen, I think I would exclude Scream. I really didn’t like that movie [or any of the sequels]. I would have pushed Jacob’s Ladder, Stir of Echos, Rosemary’s Baby and The Blair Witch Project up a few more slots closer to number one. I just purchased Army of Darkness on Saturday.

Movie:	Seen It	Own It
50) I Walked With a Zombie
49) Riget (The Kingdom) Parts 1 and 2
48) Poltergeist	x
47) Army of Darkness	x	x
46) Au Rendezvous de la Mort Joyeuse
45) King Kong	x
44) Stir of Echoes	x
43) The Omen III
42) Candyman	x
41) April Fool’s Day
40) Event Horizon
39) Jacob’s Ladder	x
38) Masque of the Red Death
37) Braindead (AKA Dead Alive)	x
36) Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)	x
35) Carrie	x
34) Rosemary’s Baby	x	x
33) Scanners
32) Blade	x
31) Re-Animator
30) Pitch Black
29) Aliens	x
28) The Others	x
27) Hellraiser	x
26) Hellbound: Hellraiser 2
25) The Eye
24) The Hitcher	x
23) Freaks
22) The Sixth Sense	x
21) Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)	x
20) The Innocents
19) Phantasm	x
18) Jaws	x
17) The Birds	x
16) The Thing	x
15) Suspiria	x
14) Night of the Living Dead (1968)	x
13) The Blair Witch Project	x	x
12) Silence of the Lambs	x
11) Scream	x
10) The Exorcist	x	x
9) Psycho	x
8) Dead by Dawn: Evil Dead 2	x
7) Dawn of the Dead
6) Alien	x
5) Halloween	x	x
4) The Haunting (1963)	x
3) Nightmare on Elm Street	x	x
2) The Evil Dead	x
1) The Shining	x	x

I installed XP last night. I’m happy now. It’s like I have a brand new computer. Everything is so smooth.

Ironically, while I was installing XP [and talking on the phone], I saw 3 or 4 switch commercials. I thought about it for a second and began wondering if Apple is pushing so hard because of XP. I have nothing personal against Apple… hell, I’d use one because Tony Hawk endorses them!