… they (Australia) celebrate Easter the exact same way we do: commemorating the death and resurrection of Jesus by telling our children a giant bunny rabbit left chocolate eggs in the night. Now, I wonder why we’re f***** up as a race. Anybody got any idea? You know, I’ve read the Bible. I can’t find the word bunny or chocolate anywhere in the f***ing book. Where do they come up with this s***? Why not goldfish left Lincoln logs in your sock drawer? As long as you’re making s*** up – you know – go hog-wild. At least the goldfish with a Lincoln log on its back going across your carpet has some miraculous connotations:
“Mum, today I found a Lincoln log in me sock drawer.”
“That’s the story of Jesus…”