This is terrific! This is what everyone needs! It’s quick. It’s compact. It’s for the intelligent consumer who’s on the go! Introducing the new Discover 2GO Card. Look at all of its awesome features: the Key Chain Option, Protective Case and Removable Clip. Notice they don’t show you the flip side of this convenient purchasing power tool? That’s because the people at Discover want to hide the little red stress button. The button that, once pressed, immediately destroys your financial independence and well-being.
I’ve seen the television commercials for this new card a couple times now. Everyone is smiling – of course they are – Discover wants you to think that their credit card will give you freedom and happiness.
The man at the counter at the retailer is smiling because he has a cool new 2GO card. Meanwhile, his little boy is waiting in the car in the parking lot, unbeknownst that he won’t be able to get braces or go to the college of his choice.
Uggghhhh! Why don’t they just make credit cards that come in your choice of grape, watermelon, cherry and lime flavors and hand them out to sixth graders? Hell, while we’re at it, why don’t they just go ahead and lace the ‘Protective Case’ with skin-permeable crack-cocaine?
Want to be a true American? You can opt for a regular Discover Platinum card with an American flag on it. Be a patriot, put yourself in unmanageable debt by financing your lunch, your gasoline, your clothes. Pay off one of your other credit cards with a variable interest rate and annual ‘exclusive’ membership fees.
One of my best friends was burned by the smiling people at Discover. He got a Discover card in his early 20’s. He couldn’t make the monthly minimum amount due. He had to dodge phone calls from creditors and started throwing all of his mail away without reading it. He eventually needed a vehicle. Some shark was able to get my friend a loan. I think this used truck had a sticker price of six or seven thousand dollars. Had it not been repossessed, I think it would have cost him nearly twenty thousand dollars with late fees and sky high interest rates.
That’s obviously bad money management on the part of my friend, but Discover was kind enough to step up in the beginning and show him the way to financial misery. Now he’s married, has two kids and another on the way. I really hope things work out.
I’d like to go back to school and get a degree in finance and become a teacher. I would love to teach high school kids about credit and money. That would be a awesome job.